It Gets Challenging

The arrival of summer in Oregon ushers in blueberry season.  I love this, because fresh-picked Oregon blueberries are for superior tasting than anything I could buy in a grocery store.  Aside from their superior taste, picking your own berries from one of the local fields is a summertime activity that is not to be missed.

The beginning of the picking season is the best!  All of the bushes are loaded with big clusters of ripe berries.  This makes for easy picking.  You don’t have to work very hard and in a short time you can be done picking and on your way with several pounds of blueberry goodness.

The scene is a little different as the season progresses.  The picking gets more challenging as more people get out and hit the field.  Gone are the huge, numerous clusters.  This is when you have to start searching the branches for smaller clusters that are hidden from site.  The more the season passes, the more you have to work to get the results you want.  The berries are still sweet and delicious; you just have to work harder for them… but it’s worth the effort!

I think it’s a lot like that when we’re learning new skills.  Starting out, we often see results quickly because we’re going from total ignorance on the topic to acquiring the most basic skills.  We go from knowing absolutely nothing to knowing something about the topic.  Although this basic knowledge often comes quickly, we soon realize that there is a whole lot more that we don’t know about the topic.  We also realize that if we want to get beyond a beginner’s skillset, it’s going to be challenging and require significant effort on our part.

I think it’s here that people often give up pursuing something they want.  They’ve gotten past the initial easy steps and arrive at the point where it’s going to take more effort than before to get where they want to go.  If that effort seems too great, they give up.

We’ve all been here in some form or another. It’s where we ask ourselves just how badly we want it.  How much do we want to:

  • Improve upon or learn a new skill
  • Learn a new language
  • Be able to use a new piece of technology
  • Improve a relationship
  • Become a better leader
  • Or simply pick enough blueberries to fil the large container we brought with us

Knowing that the challenges increase after starting is helpful, because we can anticipate them and be ready to address them when we might otherwise be caught off guard by them and give up.

Covering the Basics

 

So which would you rather experience from an individual or an organization:

Column A   Column B
Someone who goes above and beyond what they said they’d do.

 

-Or-

Someone who says, “I’ll take care of that” and doesn’t follow through.
Someone who shows they appreciate your business through actions and words.

 

-Or-

Someone who responds to each of your questions with, “HUH?”
Someone who teaches you about their product or service and invites your questions and then answers them.

-Or-

Someone who shows up 40 minutes late for an appointment (without even calling to let you know they’d be late) and also smelling of alcohol.

 

Let me guess.  You’d rather experience Column A, right?  Yeah, me too!

It seems to me like doing the items in Column A and NOT doing the things in Column B are the basics of doing business, or even relating with another human being.  However, I’m amazed from my own experience (I’ve recently experienced each item in both columns) how many people don’t have a grasp on the necessity of covering these basics in a business setting.  I find it frustrating… and also encouraging.

I find it frustrating for obvious reasons, but I’m encouraged, because if there are so many people NOT covering the basics, I can very easily stand out, in a positive way, if I make sure I’m covering the basics in my interactions with others.  And so can you!

Covering the basics in our interactions with others looks like:

  • Doing what we say we will do.
  • Presenting ourselves well in appearance, language, and attitude.
  • Looking people in the eye when talking with them.
  • Being present and engaged with the person you’re with (Put the smartphone away!)
  • Being courteous and respectful of the other person.

It feels to me like covering the basics is a secret competitive advantage whether you’re in business, applying for a job, or just connecting with another person.

Let’s take advantage of this secret and make sure we’re covering the bases in our interactions with others.

Without Even Knowing

On Friday June 2nd at about 9:45am Pacific Time, I completed the Rim to Rim hike in the Grand Canyon.  This is a hike I have wanted to do since first visiting the Grand Canyon back in 2013.  It was a fantastic experience that I will never forget.

Completion

One of the key motivators for doing this hike was a view of Plateau Point I saw from the South Rim during my visit in 2013.  Plateau Point is easily visible from the south rim of the canyon, just west of the El Tovar Lodge.

Plateau Point

What captivated me about this view was the small trail that lead out to the point.  From my vantage several thousand feet above I could see people walking along that trail toward the end of the point.  As I watched them, I wondered what type of view they must have and how great it must be to be down there walking that trail.  Their presence on the trail intrigued me and stirred a desire to find out for myself what that experience is like.

The people I saw on the tail had no idea that I was watching them and that their presence on the trail was motivating me to one day hike that trail as part of my Rim to Rim experience.  As I hiked the trail to the end of Plateau Point last week, I wondered if there were people on the South Rim watching me.  I’d like to think there was someone that saw me and thought, “That looks like something I’d like to do.  I’m going to make that happen!”

I think we can motivate others to do great things without even knowing it.  The people I saw on Plateau Point back in 2013 had no idea they were inspiring me to take action.  They were simply doing their thing out on the trail.

I like to think that maybe I’ve been able to do the same for others.

Sharing What We Know

“Everybody is ignorant, only in different subjects.”   ~Will Rogers

Think of all the things you know, from your skills, to experience, to the knowledge you possess. If you were to write them all down, it would likely take multiple sheets of paper.

Now consider all the things you don’t know.  Whereas your list of things you knew would fill pages, the list of what you don’t know would fill multiple volumes.  I know my list would!

And that’s ok.

This quote reminds me that although I have many skills, talents, and knowledge I can offer the world, I am also dependent on others to do the same.

For instance, I know nothing about:

  • Indoor plumbing (except for how to use it!)
  • Electricity distribution
  • Growing fruits and vegetables on a large scale
  • Processing oil into gasoline
  • Building a refrigerator, oven, microwave, or other major appliance
  • Performing dentistry
  • Or a zillion other things!

However, fortunately for me, there are other people that know all about these topics, and who gladly offer their skills and talents in service to the rest of us.

For that, I’m grateful!

Choosing Responses

Last Saturday I got a phone call from a relative who was experiencing computer problems and they needed help.  Computers are not this person’s thing, so when something with their computer goes wrong, it’s a catastrophe for them.  This case was no exception.  They were frustrated, stressed out, worked up, and not handling it very well.

As I was helping them solve their computer issue, it would have been easy to let this person’s stress and negative energy cause me to become stressed out and irritable as well.  (In the past, that’s exactly what I would have done!)  But a negative response to a stressful situation is not a forgone conclusion, it’s a choice.

I think that’s good news!  If our negative response to a stressful situation is a choice, that means we can choose to respond positively instead.

Other people don’t make us behave poorly or bring out the worst in us.  The more accurate statement is that we chose to behave poorly around them.

While that comment stings a little, it also reminds me that other people don’t have control over how I respond to them, unless I hand control over to them.  Ultimately, we are each responsible for our responses, regardless of the influence of others.  And for that, I’m thankful.

The next time you feel yourself getting stressed out or worked up because of someone else’s negative influence, pause for a moment and remember that how you respond is your choice.  Then, choose how you ‘d like to respond.

More Similar Than Not

My wife and I spend a long weekend in New York City a couple of weeks ago.  It was our second time in the city and we got to see several sights we didn’t get to on our first visit, like Ellis Island, the 9/11 museum, and walking across the Brooklyn Bridge on a beautiful sunny day.  We had a great time!

One of my favorite things about being in New York City is hearing all the different languages being spoken and interacting with people from all over the world.  It again reminds me that regardless of where we’re from or our cultural background, we’re all more similar than we realize.

For example, we were outside Federal Hall Saturday morning the same time as a large group from China.  I was intrigued by this group as I noticed how they all wanted their picture taking under the large statue of George Washington.  I especially enjoyed watching all of the different poses they were making.  There was everything from the classic family vacation photo, to the “thumbs up” sign, as well as both arms stretched skyward, all the while, with faces displaying big genuine grins.

Federal Hall

We witnessed this type of scene being played out throughout the city with people from all over the globe.  Regardless of their culture or homeland, they looked like tourists having a good time.  In that respect, we all looked the same.

It was refreshing to see, in light of current global political climate.  There seems to be a lot of focus, and likely fear, on how we’re different from one another.  It was nice to see just how similar we are all as fellow human beings.

What You’re Allowing In

I recently re-read the book “Where Will You Be 5 Years From Today”.  It’s an encouraging book that makes you think of the trajectory you are setting for your life that will lead you to where you want to be in 5 years.  This is one of those books that should be required reading every couple of years.

As I read, I was reminded how much my attitude and outlook is impacted when I actively fill my mind with positive, though-provoking content.  My mind feels sharper, opportunities seem more abundant, and good ideas and positive thoughts are in no short supply.  I just feel better when I’m feeding my mind with good content.

The thoughts we have are a function of what we’ve already allowed into our mind.  Therefore, it seems reasonable that if we want to have good thoughts, we should be sure our minds are filled with good content.  Think of it like priming a pump or fertilizing the “soil of our mind” that produces our thoughts.

Good thoughts don’t happen by accident.  It’s the intentional behavior of not only allowing good content in, but also guarding our minds against the avalanche of negative content that is so pervasive.  While guarding our minds requires work on our end, it is work that will enrich our lives in the form of better thinking.

Guard your mind, for it will produce and abundant return of whatever you allow in.  Make sure that what you’re allowing in is what you’d like to get out later.

Anticipation

I can’t wait for bright, clear, sunny days to become the norm!  After a long gray fall and winter in the Pacific Northwest, most everyone here is eager for the sun to make an extended appearance.

The clear days of late spring and summer in Oregon are extremely beautiful.  I think it’s the anticipation of their arrival that keep people going through the gray and rain.  At least it is for me.

I find life more interesting and exciting when I have something in the future to look forward to.  Whether it’s an upcoming trip or event, a scheduled connection with others or the changing of the seasons and the activities each one brings, the anticipation of these events enhances my enjoyment of them.

Anticipation is also a great positive motivator.  For example, if you’re earning a degree or learning to play a musical instrument, there will be times when your progress feels small or slow.  This is where you can get frustrated and consider giving up.  However, if you can anticipate the excitement of receiving your diploma or being able to skillfully play that musical instrument, you’ll be much more likely to successfully navigate through your frustration and move on toward completing what you’ve set out to do.

So what are you positively anticipating in your not-too-distant future?  What outcome can you see in your mind that you haven’t attainted yet?  If the answer is “nothing”, begin thinking of something you’d like to do or achieve and take steps to make it happen, all the while keeping the anticipation of its arrival or completion in your mind.

Positive anticipation is a pulling force.  It pulls us in the direction we want to go and keeps us on track, even when the path ahead feels gray and rainy.  Our anticipation reminds us that sunnier days are just ahead.

I Love It… But Not Always

“I don’t know.”

I both love and despise this response as an answer to questions.

I love this answer for its honesty.  When someone is asked a question that they do not have the knowledge to answer, this is a superb response, versus simply making something up or faking it in an effort to look bad in front of others.  In this scenario, “I don’t know” shows humility as well as the ability to be comfortable with the fact that you don’t have all the answers.  It also shows a willingness to receive input and ideas from others who have more knowledge in an area that you do.  It also shows that you’re teachable and eager to grow.

I despise “I don’t know” when it’s quickly thrown out as a default response simply because someone doesn’t want to expend the effort to give thought to a questions they have been asked.  Using “I don’t know” as the go to response is a great way to kill a conversation.  Imagine you’re having a conversation with someone you just met and, an effort to get to know them you ask them what they like to do if they had a free day to themselves.  If they immediately respond with, “I don’t know”, and that it, where do you go from there?  These 3 simple words can quickly slam shut the door of conversation.

Here’s the worst part about the default response of, “I don’t know.  When someone asks for our thoughts or opinion about a topic as input for a decision and we respond with “I don’t know”, we are willingly handing over our ability to make or influence a decision to other people.  For me, the thought of willingly allowing other people to always think and make decisions for me is not appealing.  As such, when asked for my opinion or input, I always want to at least have a thought that I can respond with, whether complete or not yet formed.  This keeps me active in the decision making process, versus allowing other people to do my thinking for me.

Like most things in life, responding with “I don’t know” requires discernment.   There are times when this is the right answer, and other times when this response is best avoided.  One way to help discern your use of this response is to ask yourself, “Am I replying with ‘I don’t know’ because I don’t want to think, or am I responding with it because I honestly don’t know?”

If your answer to this question is the latter, then congratulations!  You’re putting yourself on the path to increase your understanding of the topic.  If however, your answer to this question is the former, consider a different response.

Calm in the Midst of Chaos

When I sat down to write this week’s blog, I looked out the office window and I noticed, across the busy 4 lane highway, a Canadian goose lying down in the grass on the other side of the road.  I didn’t see any evidence of a nest or eggs, as this goose had gotten up to move to a new position a couple of times, so it was a rather strange site.

As the busy traffic, only a couple of short feet away, whisked by, this goose seemed totally calm, content, and even relaxed.  He (or she) is the picture of calm in the midst of a chaotic environment.

Goose

The more I watched this silly goose, the more impressed I was with his calm demeanor in his chosen environment.  Ultimately, I thought about how I’d like to show the same unshakable calm whenever I find myself in a chaotic or stressful scenario.

I certainly don’t know what my feathered-friend’s secret is, but I do think there are some behaviors we can practice to help us stay calm and in control when things or people around us are not.

  • Don’t over-react when the stakes are low.  When we’re under pressure, I think we tend to react rather than respond.  Reacting is more automatic.  Responding involves deciding how we are going answer the situation before us.  When we respond we are intentional.  If we can train ourselves to respond calmly to small scale events, we will be training ourselves to do likewise when the stakes are higher.
  • Maintain the proper perspective. When you’re feeling stressed out or like things are getting chaotic, ask yourself if wigging out is really warranted.  With few small exceptions, it’s usually not.
  • Practice being calm. Make it a point to spend time every day engaging in calming activities.  This could include things like:
    • Reading
    • Praying or reading the Bible
    • Meditating
    • Yoga
    • Going for a walk
    • Listening to relaxing music
    • Having a good conversation with someone you care about

While the list is endless, the point is to make sure we’re doing something calming every day.

This goose’s appearance is very timely, as I’ve been focusing on integrating more calming activities into my own life recently.  I’m grateful I got to witness this example.