We Choose

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We get to choose how we respond to what life throws at us.  There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with that statement.  Regardless of whether our response is good or bad, we are the ones who chose the response.

While it’s easy to take credit for our good choices, it’s not as fun to acknowledge that our poor choices are just that… our choices.  In these cases, it’s often easier to blame our poor choices on those things that shift responsibility away from us.  Have you ever shifted responsibility for your choices with one of these excuses:

  • If they hadn’t <insert someone else’s behavior>
  • If only <insert circumstance>
  • I just can’t help myself
  • I’m so <insert emotion> that don’t feel like <insert the choice you know you should make>
  • I get so <insert emotion> that I just <insert the choice you know you shouldn’t make>

With this responsibility come freedom.  We have the freedom to choose a response that would lead to a desired outcome versus letting our emotions choose for us.

Not Automatic

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It’s been a while since my last blog post!  I decided to take a 3week break from posting while my wife and I were traveling.  My intention was to get back at it when we returned home.  What I didn’t plan on was how non-automatic it would be to start back up.

Writing a weekly post is enjoyable.  I find I’m more observant when I know I need a topic to write about for the week.  I assumed I would automatically get back in the habit of writing a weekly post once upon my return, which wasn’t the case.  I was reminded that any discipline required action, and that discipline is, indeed, not automatic.

So that’s what I did this week; I took action to write this post.  While intentions are good, intention followed by action is where results happen. 

Is there anywhere you need to start or resume taking action?

Make An Effort First

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It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

That’s OK

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I have not made a blog post for the last 2 weeks… and that’s ok.

Since January 2013, I’ve been posting weekly to this blog.  I like the process of having an idea, thinking on it, and organizing that thought into a weekly post. I especially like how this process has improved my thinking, writing, and aided in my personal development.

As a result, I’ve been hesitant to skip a week because I didn’t want to “break the chain”.  The past 2 weeks, however, I intentionally decided not to write a post in order to free up some time to focus on other things.

I admit, it felt strange not to write those posts, but I also realized that it’s ok to skip a week (or 2) to make room in my schedule.

The point of this week’s post is to say that sometimes the right thing to do is to say, “No” to something good and productive, in order to say, “Yes” to something more pressing. 

Sometimes we need to say, “No”, and that’s ok.

Use It

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Last week my wife and I were walking through a wetland on a trail that lead to an Oregon beach that not many people visit. I was wearing a favorite sun hat that had a wide brim that would keep my face and neck protected from the sun. As was my habit, I did not have the chinstrap secure. This would turn out to be a big mistake.

As we were walking, a gust of wind lifted the had straight off my head. I watched in slow motion as I unsuccessfully reached for the hat, and watched it sail over a thick hedge and into a creek surrounded by a swampy inaccessible marsh. It was gone, and I wasn’t getting it back.

It’s not a big deal to lose a hat. Even though I really liked that hat, I can, and did, get another one. What was frustrating to me was that I would still have it, if I had only used the hat’s chinstrap. Chinstraps, much like seatbelts, sunscreen, and other preventative devices, can only do their job if you use them.

I’m reminded that preventative devices like, chinstraps, can’t work if we don’t use them.

Change Gears

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This week I was working on a project that just wasn’t coming together.  The task I was trying to complete became a problem solve to solve.  I worked for the better part of a day on it and still wasn’t having much success.  While I am confident I’ll find a solution, I decided it was time to change gears.

Since I was stuck on this particular task, I decided to change gears and focus on another task that involved a slightly different skillset.  It was great, because I able to make some great headway on this part of the project, while letting my subconscious work on the other task I was having trouble with.

Sometimes I find it’s helpful to focus on something else, instead of continuing to head down a dead end.  Pointing our mind in a new direction can help us gain some success and hopefully come back to the challenging task with a fresh mind ready to solve the problem.

I’m eager to see how this works for me.

Waiting For Perfect

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I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of “waiting for perfect” before making a decision.  Perhaps we were waiting for the perfect scenario, circumstance, job, opportunity, or even person to show up before we committed to taking action.   In some cases, we might even be waiting for perfect from ourselves. 

This will come as no surprise: if we’re delaying action while we wait for perfect to arrive, we’ll be waiting a long time.

A better choice might be to consider good enough for now.

No, I’m not telling you to make bad choices, or to say “Yes” to dangerous or harmful people or things.  What I am suggesting is lifting the expectation of perfection in everything, and considering the very good possibilities that are now available.  You’ll find there are far more very good options than perfect ones.    

Deciding to Deprioritize

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I’ve been consistently making weekly blog posts here since January of 2013.  During that time, I’ve only missed posting 3 or 4 times, and was because I simply forgot.  Last week was the first I intentionally decided NOT to write a weekly post.  It was a busy week with too much to do and not enough time to do everything on my list, so I decided to forego the weekly blog post… and that’s OK.

While I like the discipline of putting a weekly thought into words, I equally dislike putting undue stress on myself.  I simply looked at all I had to do and did some prioritization.  Quite simply, writing a blog post last week wasn’t a high enough priority, and didn’t make the cut.

I share that story for two reasons.  First, so that you might consider letting lower priority items drop from your “To Do” list, either for the short or longer term, when you list exceeds the time you have available.  Second, so that you might not feel guilty about deciding to drop a lower priority item on your list.       

Lifting and Being Lifted

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I like encouraging people.  Whether it’s through letters, email, text, phone, in person, or through prayer, I love lifting people up.  What I’ve also been embracing the last few years is to let other people lift me up as well, especially through prayer. 

What this looks like for me is letting those close to me know what’s going on in my life.  How can someone encourage you if they don’t know what you’re facing? 

I didn’t use to do this much because I didn’t want to burden people with what I was facing.  I’ve realized that when I keep my life close to the vest, I keep others from experiencing the joy they would receive from lifting me up.   

Illuminating Words of Encouragement

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Our Sunday School class was having a group text conversation this week, encouraging one of our younger people, who is getting ready for some upcoming job interviews.  It was nice to hear those in the class, who have been in the workforce for decades, sharing their wisdom and encouragement. 

I always appreciate wisdom and encouragement from those who have gone somewhere before me.  Their words are like a bright flashlight illuminating an otherwise dark path. 

I am grateful for the illuminating words of encouragement from others.