Make An Effort First

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It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

That’s OK

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I have not made a blog post for the last 2 weeks… and that’s ok.

Since January 2013, I’ve been posting weekly to this blog.  I like the process of having an idea, thinking on it, and organizing that thought into a weekly post. I especially like how this process has improved my thinking, writing, and aided in my personal development.

As a result, I’ve been hesitant to skip a week because I didn’t want to “break the chain”.  The past 2 weeks, however, I intentionally decided not to write a post in order to free up some time to focus on other things.

I admit, it felt strange not to write those posts, but I also realized that it’s ok to skip a week (or 2) to make room in my schedule.

The point of this week’s post is to say that sometimes the right thing to do is to say, “No” to something good and productive, in order to say, “Yes” to something more pressing. 

Sometimes we need to say, “No”, and that’s ok.

Use It

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Last week my wife and I were walking through a wetland on a trail that lead to an Oregon beach that not many people visit. I was wearing a favorite sun hat that had a wide brim that would keep my face and neck protected from the sun. As was my habit, I did not have the chinstrap secure. This would turn out to be a big mistake.

As we were walking, a gust of wind lifted the had straight off my head. I watched in slow motion as I unsuccessfully reached for the hat, and watched it sail over a thick hedge and into a creek surrounded by a swampy inaccessible marsh. It was gone, and I wasn’t getting it back.

It’s not a big deal to lose a hat. Even though I really liked that hat, I can, and did, get another one. What was frustrating to me was that I would still have it, if I had only used the hat’s chinstrap. Chinstraps, much like seatbelts, sunscreen, and other preventative devices, can only do their job if you use them.

I’m reminded that preventative devices like, chinstraps, can’t work if we don’t use them.

Change Gears

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This week I was working on a project that just wasn’t coming together.  The task I was trying to complete became a problem solve to solve.  I worked for the better part of a day on it and still wasn’t having much success.  While I am confident I’ll find a solution, I decided it was time to change gears.

Since I was stuck on this particular task, I decided to change gears and focus on another task that involved a slightly different skillset.  It was great, because I able to make some great headway on this part of the project, while letting my subconscious work on the other task I was having trouble with.

Sometimes I find it’s helpful to focus on something else, instead of continuing to head down a dead end.  Pointing our mind in a new direction can help us gain some success and hopefully come back to the challenging task with a fresh mind ready to solve the problem.

I’m eager to see how this works for me.

Waiting For Perfect

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I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of “waiting for perfect” before making a decision.  Perhaps we were waiting for the perfect scenario, circumstance, job, opportunity, or even person to show up before we committed to taking action.   In some cases, we might even be waiting for perfect from ourselves. 

This will come as no surprise: if we’re delaying action while we wait for perfect to arrive, we’ll be waiting a long time.

A better choice might be to consider good enough for now.

No, I’m not telling you to make bad choices, or to say “Yes” to dangerous or harmful people or things.  What I am suggesting is lifting the expectation of perfection in everything, and considering the very good possibilities that are now available.  You’ll find there are far more very good options than perfect ones.    

Deciding to Deprioritize

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I’ve been consistently making weekly blog posts here since January of 2013.  During that time, I’ve only missed posting 3 or 4 times, and was because I simply forgot.  Last week was the first I intentionally decided NOT to write a weekly post.  It was a busy week with too much to do and not enough time to do everything on my list, so I decided to forego the weekly blog post… and that’s OK.

While I like the discipline of putting a weekly thought into words, I equally dislike putting undue stress on myself.  I simply looked at all I had to do and did some prioritization.  Quite simply, writing a blog post last week wasn’t a high enough priority, and didn’t make the cut.

I share that story for two reasons.  First, so that you might consider letting lower priority items drop from your “To Do” list, either for the short or longer term, when you list exceeds the time you have available.  Second, so that you might not feel guilty about deciding to drop a lower priority item on your list.       

Lifting and Being Lifted

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I like encouraging people.  Whether it’s through letters, email, text, phone, in person, or through prayer, I love lifting people up.  What I’ve also been embracing the last few years is to let other people lift me up as well, especially through prayer. 

What this looks like for me is letting those close to me know what’s going on in my life.  How can someone encourage you if they don’t know what you’re facing? 

I didn’t use to do this much because I didn’t want to burden people with what I was facing.  I’ve realized that when I keep my life close to the vest, I keep others from experiencing the joy they would receive from lifting me up.   

Illuminating Words of Encouragement

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Our Sunday School class was having a group text conversation this week, encouraging one of our younger people, who is getting ready for some upcoming job interviews.  It was nice to hear those in the class, who have been in the workforce for decades, sharing their wisdom and encouragement. 

I always appreciate wisdom and encouragement from those who have gone somewhere before me.  Their words are like a bright flashlight illuminating an otherwise dark path. 

I am grateful for the illuminating words of encouragement from others.

Extending Silence

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Our church just got through a 21-day fasting exercise.  To participate, you decide on something to give up during the 21 days, in order to focus your attention on God.  For me, I decided to give up listening to podcasts and audiobook, except for the time at the gym in the morning.  It was a good practice, that I even decided to extend beyond the initial 21 days.

For the last several months, I’ve been working at being intentional about having moments of silence and solitude.  The reason I picked podcasts and audiobooks for our fasting exercise was because I have a habit of filling blank space.  Whether it’s while I’m doing choses, cooking, having breakfast, or any other time I’m not with someone, I would automatically put on a podcast or listen to an audiobook. 

While neither of these things are bad, I realized during the fast that amount of time I was listening to them was keeping me from moments of silence where I could just be, contemplate, or even pray.  Going without them for 21 days showed me what it was like to slow down and enjoy the moments of silence.

Even though the fast is over, I have still been intentional not to default to audiobooks and podcasts, but rather to be intentional about extending the silence I have been experiencing.  I think there’s room in my life for both.  I just need to make sure I don’t skew too much toward a lack of silence.

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At a restaurant last weekend, I noticed a party of 4 (2 couples) get seated at a table near us.  Almost immediately after they were seated, one of the people pulled out their cell phone, propped it up, and began watching a football game.   Occasionally, this person would say something to other people at the table, but after they made their comment, their focus would return right back to their phone.

Wait, it gets better.

When half time arrived, this same person took an incoming call and began talking about the first half of the game with whomever called.  It was frustrating to watch.  I can imagine how unseen and unimportant this person’s dinner guests must have felt.  It never feels good to come in second place to a cell phone.

For me, I would much rather have a friend be honest and say something like, “Hey would you mind if we rescheduled dinner?  There’s a big game on that I’d really like to see, and I want to be present when we all go out to dinner together.” That would be so much better than to show up and have a friend tell you, through their actions, “I know you’re right in front of me, but right now, this game is more important to me than connecting with you.” 

The interaction I saw reminded me of the importance of being present with people, especially when we set aside time to be with them and connect with them.  To do otherwise is to send a message (perhaps unintentionally) that they aren’t that important to us.