Ask For Help

“If you need help, ask.”  Whether at school, at home, or on the job, we’ve all been told this as some point.  If we need help, assistance is just a request away.  Yet why is it that we seem to wait so long for before we actually avail ourselves of the assistance others are willing to offer?

I get it, we like to be self-sufficient and figure things out for ourselves, or perhaps we don’t want to be a burden to others.  I recognize myself in both of those statements.  And while I agree that we need to make an effort at whatever we’re attempting, at some point we need to enlist the help of others to move forward.  When we find ourselves spinning our wheels or overwhelmed, that’s a significant clue that we should be asking for help.

Keep the following thought in mind the next time you need to ask someone for help, especially if you feel like your asking is a bother to others.  While you’ve undoubted have been told, “If you need help, ask”, have you ever told that to someone else?  (I’ll bet you have!)  And when you told them, did you mean it?  (I’ll bet you did!)  It therefore seems reasonable to believe that most people would be glad to help, if you simply asked. 

Planning Early

My wife and I are going to have some home improvement work done starting in May.  Nothing major, just carpet, floors and interior painting.  It’s going to be nice to have that all done, but what’s really proven helpful has been to start the planning process early.

We started planning this way back in February.  There have been several things to coordinate such as:

  • Getting on the schedules of the people that will be doing the work
  • Selecting colors, patterns, etc.
  • Ordering fixtures and materials
  • Arranging lodging for ourselves and our pets for the time we can’t be in the house
  • Packing things up that we’ll have to get out of the house
  • Saving up to pay cash for the improvements

Starting this project early allows us to manage it with significantly less stress than if we started later.  If we waited until the last minute to get started, we would have had a greater likelihood that contractors would already have full schedules, materials wouldn’t make it in time, or a number of other setbacks that could have been avoided if we just had more time.

If you have a project or task on your horizon, I’d suggest to start it early versus waiting until the last minute.  For the cost of your time (which you’ll have a lot more of early on) you can eliminate unnecessary stress and actually enjoy the process.

Listening

On Thursday I had in interesting conversation with someone I know pretty well.  As we were talking, they shared with me how they were struggling mentally during a stressful time in their life.  I was grateful they felt comfortable enough to share their experience with me.

I’m always amazed how freely people share what’s going on in their lives when given a safe place to do so.  My encounter on Thursday also reminded me how important it is to actually listen.  We’ve all got so much going on that it can be easy to rush through our interactions without really listening to what others are telling us.  While this may be true, it’s no excuse for half-hearted listening when people are opening up and sharing their story with us.

Let’s make an effort to increase the legitimacy of our listening in the conversations we have with people.  Wouldn’t we appreciate it if others did the same for us? 

Make Time Your Ally

“Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.”  ~James Clear

While I was listening James Clear’s book Atomic Habits last week, I heard him mention the quote above about time magnifying whatever you feed it.  We all know this is true, but this quote really resonated with me with the realization that those habit we continuously do over time, no matter how small, will have an impact. 

Think of things like saving a percentage of every paycheck for retirement, smoking a pack of cigarettes every day, or exercising 30 minutes a day.  While theses habits may seem small and inconsequential in the moment, the compounding effect they have over time can be significant.  And based on what the habit is, those effects can be positive or negative. 

I’ve been thinking about the habits I have lately, and those I’d like to start, and where they can take me.  Some of the habits I have are intentional, and I’m excited about the impact they’ve had on my life.  If I’m being honest, I have other habits that are unintentional, meaning I didn’t set out to put them in place, but rather I’ve just allowed them to develop.  Most of these habits are borne out of mental laziness and don’t really yield the type of results I’d like to get. 

Being aware of our habits (the good as well as the not so good) is a great way to make sure what we do over a large arch of time is actually leading us somewhere we want to go.  Whether we’re aware or not, as James Clear stated, time will multiply whatever we feed it.  Let’s make sure we’re making time our ally.

Just Pick A Day

My sister and I were texting earlier this week about the nice sunny weather we were having.  I suggested we get together for a nice walk one of these upcoming sunny mornings.  She agreed.  Not only that, her following text showed me her level of commitment, “Let’s just pick a day, or it won’t happen!!”

I couldn’t have agreed more.

When there is something we want to do, the best way to ensure that it actually happens is to just pick a day and get it on the calendar.  It’s not difficult.  Once you decided you’re committed to making it happen, open up the calendar and select a date and time that works.  It really is that simple.  A specific date and time equals commitment.  “Someday” does not.

I’m looking forward to our scheduled walk with my sister this Saturday morning!  We just picked a day.

Grateful It Was Obvious

Last Sunday one of our friends from church passed away as a result of COVID and other underlying conditions.  While it’s sad that she’s gone, everyone is grateful that she is now in heaven and is no longer suffering.

Her final weeks were spent in a hospital, with last week being in the ICU, where her condition began to slowly decline.  Fortunately, she had completed an advanced directive long before she became so ill.  This was a real blessing, because there was no guessing what she wanted to have done at the end of her life.  She had taken the time to consider, and make, these choices well before they needed to be made, and thus not burdening someone else with such weighty decisions. 

Everyone involved was grateful that she had made her wishes obvious.  May we be as thoughtful to others, by making our final wishes obvious as well.

When It’s Time To Act

Earlier this week we bought a new washer and drier.  The repair man told us that the bearings on our old washer had gone out, and we’d be better off getting a new washer versus replacing this one.  Initially, we were thinking we’d hold off getting a replacement until May, which would align well with a home improvement project we have scheduled.  However, after the machine continued to get worse, we decided the best option would be to replace it now, on our own timeline.

My wife and I both agreed that as long as we kept using the rapidly deteriorating machine, we ran an ever-increasing risk of it failing in the middle of a load of wash.  I don’t know what your experience has been, but appliance failures never seem to occur at a convenient time, and they usually generate unneeded stress and inconvenience.  Especially if we knew in advance that a failure was imminent.

We decided that, since we knew we needed to replace the washer, we should do it on a timeframe that is convenient for us versus letting the machine dictate a less convenient timeframe via a massive failure.

I think there are a lot of things in life that we can address on our own timeframe, versus waiting for a failure to determine our timeframe for taking corrective action.  These things can range from appliance replacements to adopting a healthier lifestyle to maintaining relationships and beyond. 

Let’s be aware of the areas in our lives where we can take action to mitigate unnecessary risks and damage, versus waiting for things to blow up before they get our attention.  And when we become aware of these areas, let’s actually take the necessary action when it’s time to act.

A Short Thought On Dependence

Health-related issues, like doctor appointments with potential for bad news, are way outside of my comfort zone.  As a result, they are strong motivators that causes me to draw near to God.  In the days leading up to a doctor appoint of any kind, I get heavily dependent on God for peace, comfort, guidance, and a favorable outcome.  His presences is very comforting to me.

What I’m currently trying to focus on is maintaining a continued daily dependence on God.  It’s easy to be dependent on Him when I’m facing a challenge, but I also want to be dependent on Him, even when things are going well.

If I can depend on him during challenges, shouldn’t I also depend on Him during the good times as well?

I Don’t Even Miss It

Our house has been feeling rather full, in a cluttered since lately, so a couple of weekends ago, my wife and I went through several closets and rooms and got rid of stuff we no longer use.  It was amazing how much stuff we had that fell into that category! What’s even more interesting is that I don’t even miss a single thing I got rid of.

What I do enjoy, much more than the exiled stuff, is the free space I have in rooms, closets, bookshelves, and cabinets.  There’s such a calming feeling when every inch of a bookshelf isn’t stuffed full of books I’ll likely never read again.  Likewise, a closet with much available space is much more fun to interact with than one that’s jammed full of unused clothing that obscures the clothes I actually do wear.

It’s hard to believe that a carload full of stuff taken to Goodwill can have such a positive impact on my surroundings.

Are there any items you know you’ll no longer use that you need to get rid of or give to someone else who can use them?  If so, I encourage you to do it as soon as possible.  Not only will you enjoy interacting with your newly uncluttered space, you will most likely not even miss the times you get rid of.

It’s Funny Out There

While I was eating breakfast on Thursday morning, I was also listening to an audio book titled, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, And More Creative.  It’s very interesting and has me excited to get out side and go for a hike! 

At about 7:20 AM, I was listening to the author talk about the impacts of noise pollution and how our quite places in the world are rapidly diminishing when I heard a loud noise outside our house.  At first, I thought it was a life flight helicopter, so I peeked out the window to catch a glimpse.  It turned out not to be a helicopter, but rather a street sweeper making a rather early pass up and down our street.  While I do appreciate a clean street, 7:20 AM seems like a little early!

I laughed out loud at the irony going on right outside my house.  How funny that a loud street cleaner would be going by at the same time I was listening to a chapter about the negative impacts of noise pollution.  It was a fun note to start my morning on.

There are a lot of funny things going on in the world.  And by “funny” I mean the “HAHA” type of funny like a streetsweeper going by at the very moment I’m being warned of the dangers of noise pollution.  While it seems easy to notice things that frustrate or offend us, I would challenge us to instead keep an eye open for all the humor and funny things that are going on around us instead.  Noticing them is sure to bring a smile to your face, and that’s a great accessory to greet the day with.