Personal Growth

It’s Time to Give Up…  or Get Creative

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If you’re facing obstacles in the pursuit of a worthy goal, congratulations!  That’s normal.  What’s not normal is pushing through the obstacles with creative solutions.  Many people simply give up when obstacles occur and cease their pursuit, settling for what the way things have always been.

When we face obstacles, it feels like a fork in the road where we can make one of two choices:

  • Get creative and adjust our approach.
  • Return to the status quo.

If you’re pursuing a goal, it’s probably because you’re tired of the status quo.  Therefore this choice should be pretty easy.  It’s time to get creative.

So what are some things we can do to spark creativity, so that we can push through obstacles and challenges?  Here are 3 suggestions:

 

  1. Come up with 10 ideas to a problem every day. This comes from James Altucher on the Ask Altucher podcast, where he says coming up with 10 ideas a day will help you “flex your Idea Muscle” and cause you to become better at generating ideas becoming more creative.

 

  1. Ask for ideas from others. Don’t critique their ideas or say why they won’t work.  Rather use them as building blocks for new ideas that can lead to creative solutions.

 

  1. Read or listen to books, blogs, or podcast that talk about creativity or how people solved problems.

 

One more suggestion to become more creative in the face of obstacles is to remember why you’re in pursuit of your goal in the first place.  Think about what motivated you to get started, and specifically what you’ll give up if you do indeed give up on this pursuit!  Then ask yourself, “Am I fine with going back to the way things have always been?”  For me, the answer is always “No.  I wouldn’t be fine with that.”  This answer provides me with the direction and motivation I need to press on and move ahead.

 

No matter what you’re pursuing, the probability that you’ll face obstacles is high.  Be aware of the certainty of obstacles, when you begin your next goal.  Doing so will enable you to think creatively from the outset about how to will overcome these obstacles when they arrive.

 

 

 

Shut Up or Do Something

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It’s easy to complain, and most people don’t need much practice to get good at it.  Sometimes complaining to the appropriate people is the right thing to do, like when you receive a bad product or service or experience poor treatment from a merchant.  In these circumstances we should complain, but we should always do so respectfully with tact and the right motive.

However, I think we often complain:

  • About people or things that have always been the way they are.
  • About things we have no intention of changing.
  • To any listening ear that is willing to hear us complain.

What good does this do?  How does this benefit you? Complaining like this takes away your power to direct the course of your life and instead fosters a victim mentality.  Unless complaining sparks action, it serves only to ensure you get more of what you’ve always been getting.  It’s also draining to you and others around you of energy and optimism.  Worse yet, it signals to others that you’re not a person of action, but merely a chronic complainer.

Instead of just complaining, try taking action that will improve the situation you’re complaining about. Why allow yourself to be just another complaining voice? The next time you find yourself complaining for the wrong reasons, add the following closing statement to the end of your complaint:  “…and this is what I’m going to do to make it better…”  Then do it!

Try this for the next week and observe the results.  At the very least, you’ll most likely gain a great sense of accomplishment and an improved attitude.  You’ll also find yourself becoming a person of influence, impact, and action.

How to be an Idea Machine

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I’m trying to get better at coming up with ideas.  When trying to envision something that doesn’t exist, or isn’t your current reality, it’s extremely easy to say, “I don’t know” and give up before we even begin to think.  But that response doesn’t cause change or improve your situation.  It merely keeps you where you are, which is fine, unless you’re looking to make a change.

There are 3 truths about generating ideas that I find helpful as I attempt to improve my ability to come up with ideas.  They are:

  1. Most of your ideas won’t be any good. I find this liberating because it frees me up from thinking that all my ideas need to be stellar.  Instead, I can just focus on coming up with a large quantity of ideas for problem.  From that quantity, there he is bound to be something that creates the spark of a good idea.
  1. You don’t need to come up with original ideas. Instead, build on existing ideas.  Take prepackaged salad you get at the grocery store.  There’s nothing new there: chopped up lettuce.  The idea was to do the chopping for the customer so as to be more convenient.  Sounds like a good idea to me!  And from the number of stores that carry bags of chopped up lettuce, I’d say a lot of other people thought it was a good idea too!
  1. You can get better at coming up with ideas. The three best ways I can think of to do this are:
    • Every day, come up with 10 ideas for a problem you’re facing.
    • Read books or listen to podcasts in your area of interest on a daily basis.
    • Be curious about life. Observe similarities between different events, scenarios, or problems.

Life is more fun when you’re engaged and using your mind to chart the course for the life you want to live.  Begin developing your ability to generate actionable ideas and take charge of the direction you want your life to go.  That’s what successful people do.  People like you.

How Will it Affect Them

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Have you ever had something that you wanted to do that you knew would cause stress or anxiety to someone close to you?  What did you do?  How did you make a decision in light of the other person’s anxiety?

I was listening to a podcast this week where a married couple was talking about life stuff and sharing some recent examples from their own marriage.  One of the spouses was planning on getting a tattoo, while the other was really anxious and struggling with the decision, hoping their spouse would not go through with it.  The struggling spouse realized that it was not their decision to make and acknowledged that they had no right to tell their spouse not to get the tattoo.  The spouse getting the tattoo also agreed that it was their decision alone to make.

What struck me about the spouse getting the tattoo was how they didn’t seem have any concern for the anxiety or concerns of their partner.  There didn’t appear to be any consideration given to struggle and stress their other-half was having, and the message that was indirectly communicated multiple times was, “you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

I’m not saying that we need to make all of our decisions based on what other people think.  That would be ridiculous.  However, when we know in advance that our decisions will have a negative impact on those closest to us; I think it warrants some extra thought on our end, and certainly some honest discussion with each other.

Those closest to us are close for a reason.  They’re important to us. We like being around them.  We love them.

When faced with a decision that could negatively impact a loved one, be sure to spend the necessary amount of time communicating, which is both talking AND listening, so you know exactly where they’re coming from.  Based on the feedback you get, and the importance of what you’re considering, you’ll be able to make a decision that, although it may still cause the other person stress and anxiety, will communicate that you wanted and considered their point of view as part of your decision making process.

How to Get Unstuck

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Sometimes I get stuck.  Occasionally, I’ll have a goal I’m working toward, but then I find myself getting stalled out and not making minimal to zero progress for a few days or even weeks.  It’s frustrating! What I’ve discovered recently is that there is an actual force that keeps us from moving forward.  That force is called resistance.

Resistance is anything that distracts us and takes our mind and effort away from moving toward our goals.  Steven Pressfield field wrote a great book about resistance titled Do the Work.  I read this book last week and it was eye-opening to see the role resistance plays in my own life.  The biggest take-away from this book was to be aware of when resistance is blocking my efforts.  When I’m aware of the presence of resistance, I can recognize it for what it is and begin to take steps to push through.

Pushing through resistance is actually fun, as well as motivating, because when I do, it feels like I’m making real progress toward my goals.  The following are some ways you can push through resistance:

  • See the big picture.  Know where it is that you want your goals to take you and have a clear picture of what that looks like.
  • Know why you want to achieve your goal.  Are you frustrated by your current situation, or feel like you need to be doing something better suited to how you are geared?  Whatever the reason, be mindful of it.  Always know the why behind the goal.
  • Understand the cost of not taking action.  Know that nothing will change until you cause something to happen.  No action = no result!  Are you OK if nothing changes?
  • Determine what steps you can take today.  It doesn’t have to be a large step.  Even a small step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction.
  • Just do something!  Commit to taking action every day, whether you feel like it or not.
  • Be motivated by the progress.  After you’ve strung a few days of successful progress together, look back to see how far you’ve come.  Be motivated by the progress and commit that you will not break the chain of daily progress.  You are not required to do everything in a single day, just plan on doing something every day.

It’s now time to punch resistance in the face with clear vision and by taking action on a continual daily basis.  What are you waiting for?  All that separates you from your goal is a thin veil of resistance.  Start punching through today.

 

Have a Plan… but be Ready to Adjust

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I like having a plan.  Whether it’s for a project, an event, or for attaining goals for the year, a plan provides a course of action to get from where I am to where I want to go.  However, in my experience, I’ve realized that even the best plans often need to be adjusted not long after they’ve been started.

That often happens to me with projects at work and events and goals at home. A plan gets created and as soon as it gets started, some change or unexpected piece of information comes to light which causes an alteration to the plan.  It’s the nature of getting from Point A to Pont B in any endeavor.  Unexpected items come up and adjustments need to be made to the original plan in order to continue moving forward.

I used to get really frustrated when this occurred.  It wasn’t until after I realized that change and the unexpected were normal parts of executing a plan that I started becoming less frustrated when adjustment were needed.  Now, when the unexpected comes up, requiring a change to the original plan, it feels normal.  This perspective has allowed me to focus on what adjustment needs to be made rather than being stalled out because I’m too frustrated and focused on the fact that everything didn’t’ go according to plan.

What project, goal, or event do you have coming up that could benefit from a plan?  Whatever it is, create a plan that will take you from where you are to where you want to go, and get started, with the realization that you’ll need to make adjustments along the way.  Knowing this will keep you from getting flustered when plans change and also cause you to experience greater achievement and growth as a result.

Listen to People Who Challenge Your Thinking

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How often is your thinking challenged in the course of a day, week, month, or year?  Are you regularly exposed to ideas and opinions that differ from your own, or do you usually listen to and communicate with people who think just like you?

I enjoy podcasts and have several that I subscribe and listen to each week.  Some of my favorites are the ones where the show host interviews a guest who tells about an accomplishment of theirs, and how they went about achieving it.  In these interviews, people often share their ideas and beliefs.  I like hearing the different thinking the guests bring because it allows me to be exposed to people and ideas that I might normally not be exposed to.

Often times, the ideas and beliefs being shared don’t align with my own thinking.  This challenges me to examine my thinking and ask myself why I think the way I do about a certain topic.  It’s been fun and has really expanded my thinking and ability to better articulate why I hold the thoughts and beliefs that I do or don’t hold.

It’s easy to dismiss someone or something that you don’t initially agree with, but I’ve often found that when I stop and listen with the curiosity to understand a different idea, a surprising thing happens: I actually begin to think.  I think about whether:

  • There is truth to their point.
  • Their thinking reveals holes in my own beliefs the thinking.
  • What they say bolsters or solidifies my current thinking.
  • There is any nugget I can take from their idea and apply in my life to help me achieve the results I desire?

We all have opportunities every day to be exposed to new ideas through the people we interact with, the books we read, and the media we watch and listen to.  Begin being mindful of the people that make you think, and start listening to them.  You certainly don’t have to agree with them, but at the very least, allow their ideas to engage your brain and cause real thinking to occur.

Don’t be too eager to automatically dismiss an idea that doesn’t completely align with your current thinking, or that is new and different.  Instead, examine the idea through the lens of your own life and see if there might be some pearls you could begin to apply.  You may be surprised by new options and opportunities that were never possible as a result of your old thinking.

How Are You Growing?

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What do you look for when you set goals for your life?  What are their attributes?  Are they:

  • Easy to attain?
  • Within your comfort zone?
  • Not too challenging, so as to be assured of success?

If these were the types of goals I had set, or if I hadn’t set any goals at all, the question I’d be asking myself is, “If I’m not challenged, how am I growing?”

Part of growing and getting better at something, or getting better at life in general, is to do things that challenge us.  When we’re challenged by a new thought, goal, or idea, it causes us to do things differently than we have in the past.  That difference often causes discomfort, and that’s good.  While this discomfort is not always enjoyable, many times it is what leads us to the greatest growth and positive change we experience in our lives.

Take getting into shape, for example.  You can go to the gym and keep lifting the same light weights you started with and do the same light-level cardiovascular workout you’ve always done, because it is easy and you know you can do it, but how are does that help you grow in your strength and endurance and cause you to become the healthy individual you desire to be?  Where’s the challenge?  Where’s the growth?

Knowing that when we are challenged, growth occurs, where in your life could you stand to be challenged?  What challenging goals can you set for yourself today that will cause you to grow into the person or life you seek?   Once you’ve set those goals, decide in advance that you’ll persist through the discomfort that will occur when you are challenged, and know that doing so will result in rapid growth toward the person you’re striving to become.

Slowly Coming into Focus

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Our lives should be moving toward something.  That “something” should be the life we envision for ourselves that consists of using our talents and skills applied in service to others, doing something we’re excited about.

Although this sounds good, what if you’re currently not living this life?  What if there’s discouragement caused by the gap between your envisioned life and the reality of your life today?  If that’s the case for you, I have encouraging news.

Here come some obvious truths about achieving our desired life that often get lost:

  1. We need to apply specific and consistent action that incrementally moves us toward our objectives.
  2. It takes time.

I heard the process of creating your desired life described recently as seeing a Polaroid picture coming into focus.  Remember those?  You take a photograph and wait several minutes as the picture comes into focus, revealing the image you just took a picture of.

It’s like that with achieving your desired life.  Most likely, the change from your current situation to where you want to be isn’t going to occur over night.  However, if you’re persistent, your life, like the Polaroid photo, will begin to come into focus and take shape, until it matches the vision you have been persistently pursing.

If you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life at this point take the following steps to cause progress:

  1. Have a vision in your mind of what you want your life to look like.
  2. Take action every day, no matter how small, which moves your life closer toward how you envision it.
  3. Remember that it takes time, so be persistent and stick with it.

Following these steps will not only cause the picture of your desired life to come into greater focus, it will cause the picture to become a reality as well.

Throw Something Out There

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Sometimes all that’s needed is an idea, even if it’s a bad one.

Have you ever been I a group where a decision needs to be made, but no ideas or suggestions are coming?  I have!  (In fact, I was in one such meeting less than 2 hours prior to writing this blog.)  These gatherings can be frustrating because the focus of the group seems be on the problem versus finding a solution.

Sometimes I find that what’s needed most in this scenario is an idea, any idea, just to cause people to start thinking and narrowing down the discussion toward a decision.  Throwing out an idea, be it good, bad, or ugly, gets the conversation off of the problem, and focuses it on a solution.

Say you throw out a bad idea to solve the problem at hand and no one in the group likes it.  Great!  The group’s negative reaction to the idea is the spark that begins the conversation toward a better idea, and ultimately a solution and course of action.

Don’t worry about looking dumb or foolish.  Instead, focus on starting the conversation and navigating discussion toward a solution.  Specifically, ask others what they think of the idea or what they don’t like about it or how they would change it.  Use their ideas to build on the initial bad idea.  Instead of trying to be the one that comes up with all the great ideas, focus on being the one that can take input from the group  and orchestrate solutions by leveraging the knowledge and wisdom of its members.

Look for opportunities this week to throw out initial ideas and then help others to shape and build them into a viable solution to the problem at hand. You’ll become a valuable contributor to your team and a person of action; a person who causes something to happen.