change

They’re Automatic

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They’re unproductive, they come out of nowhere, and there seems to be an endless supply of them.  And, if you’re not careful, they’ll move in, get comfortable, and be your constant companion.

I’m talking about the negative thoughts that crop up in our minds.  They can be rather insidious, showing up with little notice and focusing our attention away from the good and productive things in life.  It’s scary to me how negative thoughts automatically appear.  All we have to do is let our guard down and they show up and begin to take root.  It underscores the importance of being constantly aware of the thoughts we’re thinking.

The best thing we can do to keep our thoughts in check is to be mindful of what we’re thinking throughout the day.  When we become aware of a negative thought we’re having, we need to cause something to happen and stop the thought and not give it another moment of our attention.  Some helpful ways I’ve found for flushing out a negative thought is to:

  • Replace it with a positive one
  • Say out loud, “I will not think like this!”
  • Pray

I’ve had plenty of experience using all 3 methods.

The longer we allow negative thoughts free reign in our minds, the longer we allow our minds to be poisoned by them.  What’s so dangerous about letting negative thoughts run free is that they will ultimately affect our thinking, which will affect our attitude, outlook and behavior.  Our minds are too valuable to let the decay of negative thought take hold.  Are minds should be guarded like the valuable treasures that they are.

Here’s a challenge for the next 7 days:  Pay attention to the thoughts you’re thinking and instantly squash any that are negative or self-defeating.  After the 7 days are up, continue for another 7 days.  Repeat this process so long as you have a pulse.

Take the challenge offered above and begin uprooting negative thoughts from your mind.  By removing negative thoughts, you’ll be setting the stage to for your mind to flourishing with productive thoughts; thoughts that can change your life for the better.

Know Thy Self

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Pop quiz!  Ready?  The question is, “What is the best use of a hammer?”

Let me guess, you probably said something like, “driving nails” or “pounding stuff”.  In fact, I’ll bet the answer sprang up immediately in your mind as soon as you finished reading the question.  Why is that?  It’s because everyone knows what a hammer is designed for and what jobs it does best.

Here’s another question:  Do you know with absolute certainty what you’ve been created to do better than anyone else? I’m not simply asking what you’re good at, but rather, do you know how you are uniquely skilled and gifted so that you can focus your skills on activities that yield your greatest contribution?

I think that each person has a set of talents and skills that are unique to them.  These skills and talents may not seem like a big deal to the person who possesses them.  That’s because they can execute them with ease, almost effortlessly, and do them better than a large majority of people on the planet.  I also think that people are at their best when they are using their unique talents and skills in pursuit of something they feel passionate about.

Are you currently aware of your unique talents and skills?  Do you know what types of activities excite you to want to use your unique skills?  Are you frequently using your unique skills in these activities?

If you answered “Yes” to these questions, congratulations!  If not, here are a couple of things you can do to gain an understanding of your unique skills:

  • Spend some time taking an inventory of all the skills you possess.  If you need some help, I’d recommend reading Unique Ability by authors Catherine Nomura, Julia Waller, and Shannon Waller.  I’m just finishing it and I’ve found this book to be an excellent resource in this area.
  • Determine what moves you, what stirs passion inside you.  Again, Unique Ability is a great resource.
  • List activities you can you engage in that would be a great marriage of your talents and passion.
  • Cause something to happen by engaging your talents and passion in the aforementioned activity.

Much like a hammer, we’re at our best when we’re doing what we were created to do.  As a result, each of us should know exactly what our unique skills are.  Just as assuredly as we know what a hammer is best used for.

Begin taking steps today to identify and utilize your unique skills and talents in an activity that stirs you.  Not only will you feel great doing so, you’ll also be serving others in a way that only you are uniquely gifted to do.

Sample a New Surrounding

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I just returned from my first trip to New York City.  WOW!  What a great city!   There was so much to see and experience.  Although we were there for a whole week, we still didn’t have time to do everything on our list.  Regardless, I had a fantastic time and made some great memories.

What I enjoyed most about this trip was showing up as a New York newbie and being able to quickly adapt to life in the city and move about with confidence.  It was fun to experience that transformation.  Prior to this trip, I had no experience in a city of this size, other than what I had heard from the experience of others.  However, within a couple of days of putting myself in the middle of the action, I gained valuable experience on navigating the city and became very comfortable in my new surroundings.  It’s interesting how New York City was a big mystery to me when I first arrived, but after a day it felt very familiar, exciting and exhilarating.

Going to a new place like this can be intimidating.  Fear of the unknown can easily cripple the enthusiasm to travel to new places, or even to try new things and live a life that is full and made interesting by continually stretching and growing.  Yielding to our fear and comfort zone is easy, but it comes with a high price of limited life experience and regret.

This trip also reminded me that we can also gain experience and confidence in other areas of our lives by putting ourselves out there and causing something to happen that is new to us, which has great potential to boost our confidence, as well as our knowledge of the world around us.  It’s simply a matter of getting comfortable stretching your comfort zone.

What areas would you like (or need) to stretch your comfort zone?  Is there a skill you’d like to learn or a class you’d like to take?  Get started today!  Is there a place you’ve always wanted to visit?  Begin making plans to go.  And once you’ve made your plans, put them into action!  Don’t let the fear of the unknown, or the boundaries of your comfort zone keep you from the exciting new experiences and confidence that awaits.

It’s your life, and it’s calling.  How will you answer?

On Quitting

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“Winners never quit and quitters never win!”  Really?  We’ve all been taught not to quit, and that quitting is failure, but I don’t think that necessarily true.

What if you are in a job, career, business endeavor, or educational pursuit that you realize isn’t going to take you where you want to go in life?  Should you continue on, knowing it’s not what you’re excited or passionate about, or should you quit and pursue something that’s a better fit for you?  I don’t think there is anything noble about sticking with something that you know isn’t working or that you know won’t lead to success.  If that’s the case, I say quit.  Immediately!

However, I don’t want to make a blanket statement that says we should always quit.  If for example, we’re pursuing an endeavor that we’re passionate about and that will take us toward the goals we’ve set for ourselves, we should stick with it.  Often when we start something new, the beginning stages are fun and exciting.  But soon the excitement wears off and it’s time to start doing the hard work to cause something to happen in order to be successful.  At this point we shouldn’t quit, but rather apply our efforts to get through the challenging work to get started.  This NOT the time to quit.

When considering whether or not to quit, we should ask ourselves some questions like:

  • Is this path I’m considering quitting going to take me where I want to go in life and help me achieve the goals I’ve laid out for myself?
  • Am I quitting just because it’s getting hard?
  • Could I be more effective/fulfilled/successful doing something else?
  • Will my increased or continued efforts cause me to be successful?

Give yourself honest answers to these questions, as they will help you determine your course of action.

Is there anything currently in your life that you need to consider quitting or stop giving thought to quitting?  If so, ask yourself the tough questions, make your decision, and take action.  You’ll either be freed up to pursue something more fulfilling, or you’ll put yourself in a position to refocus your efforts to move ahead.

Don’t delay.  Your future awaits!

Do the Things That Are Easy to Do

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We tend to think greatness and big achievements come from huge effort and doing things that are hard to do.  Actually, the effort and degree of difficulty it takes to achieve something significant is usually quite small… and easy.  More important than the degree of effort, is the consistency of the small effort that’s put forth doing the things that are easy to do.

Suppose we have a goal of losing 20lbs.  There is not Herculean effort you can make in one day that would enable you to lose those pounds.  Instead, what’s required is doing things that are easy to do, and then doing them on a consistent basis over a period of time, like eating smaller portions, drinking fewer sugary beverages, and getting your heart rate up every day.  These aren’t difficult things to do. In fact, they are rather easy!  What we need is to do them every day and we are practically guaranteed to see results, as long as we are consistent.

The results may not come not come right away.  In the beginning, it may not feel like your efforts are even making a difference.  However, if we consistently do these easy things, we will begin to see results.  Probably sooner than we think!

The problem is that these small things that are easy to do are also easy NOT to do.  It’s easy not to exercise.  It’s also easy not to have a glass of water, but to have a soda instead.  The truth is that you won’t really notice if you exercise or not… at least today.  However, after several months or years of drinking soda instead of water and failing to exercise, you will notice.

The point is that the things we need to do to cause something to happen that we desire in our lives, like lose weight, build wealth, start a business, or improve our relationships, are actually quite easy.  They just need to be done consistently over a period of time.

What easy things do you need to begin doing consistently over time in order to take your life in the direction you want to go?  What would you be able to achieve by doing so?

For more on this topic, I’d recommend reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.  The concept and principles are so simple and so effective.  We need only apply them to see significant results.

Unnecessary Roadblocks

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I’m surprised at how easily I can unknowingly put limits on myself that rob me of the opportunity to engage in new life experiences.  For example, when someone presents me with an opportunity to try something new, or to take a course of action that is different from my normal mode of operation, occasionally, before I finish thinking about it, I hear my own voice telling the other person why it won’t work or why it’s a bad idea.  Sometimes this occurs seemingly automatic.  This is not a tendency that I want to take root and become a habit in my life.

Why do we put limits on ourselves lives this?  Living out of fear, playing it safe, or staying in our comfort zone is no way to live a vibrant, fulfilling life we desire.

I’m becoming very mindful of this tendency in my life.  So now,  when I recognize it, I immediately acknowledge it and purposely examine my response to determine if it is coming out of fear or a desire to stay within my comfort zone, versus a legitimate concern.  If it’s a legitimate concern, I act accordingly.  However, if I find I’m acting out of fear or complacency, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m afraid of, or why I’m so reluctant to say yes.  I also remind myself that I’m someone who likes to shake up the routine, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

I also realize that this tendency has caused me to miss out on some experiences I probably would have enjoyed.  As I look back, I’ve always been glad when I’ve gone against this tendency of putting unnecessary limits on myself.  And each time I do, my resolve becomes stronger to continue to do so in the future.

Is this a tendency you occasionally face?  If so, be on the lookout for it, so when it occurs, you can cause something to happen by stopping yourself from placing unnecessary roadblocks on your path to the abundant life.

Evaluating Our Routines

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Routines are nice because they bring order, structure, and even comfort to our lives.  They help us achieve our goals like exercise or mastery of a particular topic by providing the daily discipline to move ahead in these areas.  Routines also come in the form of who we hang out with, the places we go, and what we do with our free time.  Much like habits, routines occur without a lot of thought on our part.  They happen almost automatically.  That’s a good thing when our routines move us in a positive direction.

Have you ever considered though, that perhaps your routines are holding you back?  Is there a goal you want to achieve that you just can’t get traction on?  Maybe you’re considering a life change, but can’t see exactly how you’ll make it happen.  Perhaps what is required is a change to one or more of your routines.

Several years ago I heard the comment that if you want to do something big or different with your life, your future is going to have to look completely different from your past.  This is absolutely true.  What we’ve done with our lives so far has brought us to where we are today.  However, if we aspire to do something different with our lives, it will undoubtedly require changing our routines, either by adding new ones or removing old routines that no longer add the value required to move ahead.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we need to jettison all our current routines and start anew.  Some routines are good and should be kept because they bring satisfaction and joy to our lives.  However, in our pursuit to cause something to happen, we should evaluate those routines that no longer align with the direction we’ve charted and either adjust them so they can help take us where we want to go, or discontinue them.

What direction have you charted for your life?  What goals and aspirations are you currently pursuing?  Do you currently have any routines in your life that are a barrier, or make it difficult to move ahead with your goals?  If so, seriously examine your current routines and determine how they can be altered to better serve you, whether you should stop doing them, or if there are new routines you need to employ.

Changing our routines may seem like a tough thing to do, but it is crucial if we desire different outcomes than we are currently experiencing.  Be bold and spend some time this week honestly evaluating your current routines and any potential changes to them that may be required.  The achievement of your goals and the life you desire depends on it.

Determine Where You Want to Go

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“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”

~The Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland

I’ve found that statement to be true in my own life in years past.  Early on I didn’t have real, specific goals.  Sure, I had some like, earn money, have fun, and be happy, but those aren’t very concrete.  They’re much too vague to be useful and didn’t give me any direction with regard to how I would go about achieving them.

As a result, I found that I wasn’t really focused in my career pursuits and personal goals.  I lacked direction as to where I wanted to go and how I would go about getting there.  Life was ok, but I wasn’t intentionally going anywhere specific.  I would take jobs that came along instead of actively pursuing opportunities that helped move me closer to a destination or goal I had intentionally set. I felt like a leaf that had fallen in a creek and was being carried downstream in a gently tumbling current. Life was fine.  It wasn’t bumpy or turbulent, but it wasn’t great either.

It makes sense, right?  How can we know what path, opportunity, or direction is best for us if we don’t know where it is we want to go?

It wasn’t until I began spending time thinking about what direction I wanted to take my life that I started to get a sense of where I intentionally wanted to go.  It was exciting as I realized the unintentional path I was on would no longer do.

In January of 2011, as part of this thinking process, I began journaling.  It is a discipline I have stuck with ever since.  For me, journaling has been one of the most productive and rewarding undertakings of my life.  It is a great way to dive into your mind and engage yourself with questions like: “What do I want out of life?  What’s really important to me?  What am I good at?  What am I excited about? Where do I want to be next year at this time? How do I want my life to look now and in the future?  Where am I going?”  The questions you can ask yourself are endless, but they all start to bring clarity to your thinking when you put pencil or pen to paper and begin truthfully answering them.  Journaling helped me gain a clear picture of where I want to go, what I wanted out of life.  It has even helped me identify the steps needed to move me toward the new goals I have set for myself.

Have you ever been unsure of exactly where it is you want to go in life?  Do you feel that way now?  If so, I encourage you to give journaling a try.  It doesn’t have to be complicated.  You don’t need an agenda.  Rather just write your thoughts down as they come to your mind, and write down your reactions to them.  Don’t worry if your thoughts are jumping all over the pace.  Just follow the train of thought with your pencil and see where they lead.

Commit to journaling for 30 days, or set a goal of writing for 10 minutes 3 times a week for a month.  Cause something to happen by simply starting.  You will be amazed at the clarity and motivation you’ll gain.

What Are We Afraid Of?

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I had been putting off making a phone call that I needed to make for the last 2 weeks.  It wasn’t anything major.  I just needed to call someone up and ask a couple of “how to” questions.  I don’t really like talking on the phone, so I kept putting it off.  The problem was that doing so stalled progress on a specific goal I am currently pursuing.  I kept telling myself, “I’ll call tomorrow”, but tomorrow turned out to be several days.

Eventually I got fed up with myself, grabbed the phone, and made the call.  You know what?  The call went REALLY well!  Not only did I get my questions answered, I also met a nice person that I will work with in the future.  It turned out to be an enjoyable conversation.

When I hung up the phone I thought, “That wasn’t so bad.  Why didn’t I do that sooner?  What was I afraid of?”  Probably fear.  Probably also getting out of my comfort zone.  Whatever the reason, it cost me 2 weeks of potential progress toward my current goal.  I squandered the opportunity to cause something to happen during those 2 weeks in order to stay in my comfort zone.  How lame is that??!!  Nothing great ever occurs when we act (or don’t act) out of fear.

Moving forward, I’m going to be on the lookout for those the fears and thoughts that keep me from doing what needs to be done, and when I recognize them, I will combat them by taking the action I know I should take.  Have you ever experienced thoughts or fears that hold you back?  Are you experiencing them now?  If so, it’s time to stop letting fear and comfort run the show.  I invite you to join me in defeating them with intentional action.  Doing so will not only cause you to move ahead faster, you’ll also feel great as a result.

Help Someone Get What They Want

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“The entire world, with one tiny exception, is made up of other people.”

~John Maxwell

This is such a true statement.  If you’ve ever tried to cause something to happen that required the assistance of others, you’ve most assuredly run into this reality.

This quote reminds me that, while we all have my own unique goals, agendas, mindset and world view, so does everyone else on the planet.  I think it important for us to remember that to each person, their goals and agendas are the most important ones to them.  Any agenda I have, to them, is secondary to their own.   That makes sense right?  Most folks are concerned for other people, but their primary concern is for themselves.

This can be challenging when we need the assistance of others.  How do we get assistance from someone who has focus and priorities that are different from our own?    I think Zig Ziglar’s signature saying is a great guide:  “You can get everything you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.”  If we need help from someone who is busy with their own priorities, why don’t we offer to help them first?  Before seeking assistance from them, what if we first offered assistance to them?

I know, you’re thinking, “They’ll just take my help and not help me in return.”  It’s possible.  But I think we’d be surprised how often people are willing to help you when you first offered to help them.

Let’s look for opportunities to help others get what they want.  Not as a way of being manipulative in order to get our way, but as a way of conveying to others that we understand how important their goals and agendas are to them.