happiness

Cause It To Happen

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Here in the Pacific Northwest spring has been doing its best to send winter to an early retirement. Daffodils have started blooming and I even mowed my lawn last week!  This false start to spring is getting me excited for the upcoming spring (for real), summer, and fall months. It reminds me that if I have any activities or things I’d like to accomplish this year, I need to take actions to cause them to happen.

I love traveling, hiking, and just getting out and doing things, but I realize that if I don’t put these types of activities on the calendar and cause them to happen, they often won’t. I think it’s like that for most of us.  We have intentions to do X, Y, and Z, but get busy with day-to-day stuff and put off planning those activities that are important to us.  If left unchecked for days, weeks, months, or even years, we realize that we haven’t done any of those activities and all we have to show are unfulfilled intentions.

Last year was a year where I actually committed to getting my intentions on the calendar and making them happen. It was a wonderful year of learning, travel, new experiences, and great memories.  I’m eager to make 2018, and the years ahead, more like 2017.  Years not only filled with great intentions, but years where my intentions are validated with commitments to making them happen.

What intentions do you have for 2018 and the years ahead? Now the really important question:  What are you going to do to cause them to happen?

Studying Ourselves

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I love the fact that there are so many interesting topics to learn about!  While the list of topics we can take an interested in could easily fill multiple blog posts, I think the most important topic each of us should spend time studying… is ourselves.

If we’re interested in living a fulfilling and satisfying life, we need to regularly spend time understanding how we’re uniquely wired.  This can come through reading about behaviors and habits we’d like to embody, taking (and reflecting on) self-assessments, and journaling.  While this is not a comprehensive list to self-discovery, it is a good starting point.

As you begin learning about yourselves, you start to discover things like:

  • When are you at your best?
  • When are you at your worst?
  • What captures your heart?
  • What were you uniquely created to do?
  • How do your respond to stress?
  • What do you do better than most other people?
  • What should you avoid doing?
  • What are some areas of your character that you need to improve?
  • When do you feel most alive?
  • What drains you?
  • Where in your life are you living below your ability??

The more we understand how we’re created and what makes us tick, the better we can decide how to invest our lives during the years we’re blessed with.  Because it’s challenging to know what to do with something when we don’t understand how it works.

Being First

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Being first doesn’t always mean you’re the fastest.  In fact, I’d argue that sometimes being first means you’re the slowest.

Have you ever been on the leading edge of change?  Whether that’s adopting a new process or perhaps integrating new and unfamiliar tools or software to improve your work, being the one to go first usually results in slower performance as we adopt to the newness before us.  We also have the added challenge that, if we’ve gone first, there usually aren’t experts on our team that we can ask questions of.  When we go first, we are the expert.  Albeit the expert in in training.

I’ve often discovered that while slow-going, being first affords us a unique opportunity to shape how the change we’re embracing will be used and adopted by others.  Being first also puts us in a position assist those who come behind us and offer them a smoother transition than we had.

Personally, I’d rather be involved in shaping change and guiding others who come behind rather than sitting around and waiting until the path is clearly spelled out.  That’s why I like being first.

Remembering What We Forget

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2017 was a good year, filled with learning, new experiences, and good times with family and friends.  But with all the good memories and experiences I can recall from the past 12 months, I wonder how much of what I did in 2017 I have completely forgotten.

I did some quick math.  Did you know there are 525,600 minutes in a 365 day year?  (I think there’s a song from the musical Rent that mentions this.)  That’s a lot of minutes!  No wonder we forget so much.

While I’m not interested in remembering every one of those 525,600 minutes, I do want to make sure I preserve more of the significant and meaningful memories I’ll make in 2018 and the years beyond.  Doing so not only bring joy, it also improves the quality of our lives.

In an effort to better preserve future memories, my plan is to regularly do the following:

Journal:  While it has been an activity I have struggled to parlay into a daily habit, I really enjoy the act of journaling.  What I enjoy even more is reading, in my own words, about an experience I have forgotten.  It is a great tool for triggering forgotten memories

Take pictures:  Pictures can instantly take me back to a time, place, or experience and instantly fill my mind with great memories.  Therefore, it is also good to display the most meaningful ones so that you intersect with them often.

Recall memories with the people you made them with:  Beyond simply preserving memories, this is a great way to strengthen relationships.

What are some things you can do to preserve the memories you’ll make in 2018 and beyond?  Find a couple of methods for recalling memories and be diligent in employing them.  Then, go and live a life worth remembering.

Stop Trying

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“Do or do not.  There is no try.”  ~ Yoda

I’m a firm believer in trying.  By trying, we explore and discover new things, create new experiences, and live an interesting life.  We often:

  • Try our hand at…
  • Try our best
  • Give it a try
  • Try something new

But sometimes we need to do more than just try.  Sometimes we need to actually “do”.

Trying sometimes feels like taking a chance, rolling the dice, or making an attempt without the expectation of a definitive outcome.  Doing on the other hand, has a more decisive feeling.  When we say we’re going to do something, it shows intention, purpose, forethought, and the expectation of a pre-determined outcome.

Here’s what I mean.  Check out how different “try” and “do” sound:

What “try” sounds like What “do” sounds like
I’ll try to get to the gym this week I’ll be at the gym at 5:30 every morning this week
I’ll try to make it I will be there
I’ll try to get that done today I’ll have that done by 3:30 this afternoon
I’m going to try to and save for retirement I’m going to put X% of every paycheck into a retirement account

 

There are certainly times when just need to try; like trying a new type of food or listening to a new type of music.  However, there are other times when the stakes are much higher or the outcome much more important.  This is when we need to do better than just try and actually do.

Is there anything you’ve been trying lately that you really should be doing instead?  If so, make the jump and begin doing.  Determine the outcome you desire and do what’s required to make it happen.  Because according to Yoda, we’ll either do it or we won’t.

Stop and Notice

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The weather in the Pacific Northwest has been clear, sunny and cool for the last few days and, according to the long-range forecast, shows no signs of changing, at least within the next 7 days.  And that’s fine with me!

What I love about this type of weather in the late fall and early winter are the beautiful scenes it makes possible, like:

  • The brilliant orange, yellow, and blue colors of a sunrise
  • The clear view of mountains in the Cascade Range
  • The late afternoon sunlight shining off the bodies of low-flying Canadian geese

What’s interesting to me is that as beautiful as these scenes are, they can easily be missed, unless we stop and notice them.  There are so many things that occupy our minds and compete for our attention that, unless we make an effort to be aware of the beautiful things going on around us, we can easily miss them; and that would be a shame.

Let’s commit to actively looking for the beautiful things occurring around us.  Whether it’s a beautiful natural scene or an act of kindness, let’s be sure not to miss them.

How Important Is It

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Good health, education, family, relationships, a growing faith, personal development, financial security, social connections.  Most of us would agree that these are important thing, but how can we tell if we truly believe these things are important?  We can tell by whether or not we’re willing to commit our resources to them.

If we say good health is important, yet we don’t set aside time to regularly exercise, then how important is good health to us… really?  Suppose we say saving for the future is important, but we don’t put any of our money in a retirement vehicle.  Our actions would seem to contradict what our mouth is saying.  We may also believe that our marriage, or other significant relationship, is extremely important, while at the same time failing to give this relationship our time and best effort.  Is it then, really that important to us?

Where there is a lack of committed resources, there is a lack of importance.

Just because we don’t commit our resources doesn’t mean these things are no longer important.
They still are.  Our lack of committed resources only underscores that they are not important to us.

What’s important to you?  Are you committing your resources to it?  In reality, that will be a significant indicator of how important you think it is.

How We See Others

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If you’re looking for a feel-good movie this holiday season, I recommend you check out Wonder.  It’s a story about the challenges of a 5th grade boy who was born with some birth defects that resulted in a scarred and unusual looking face.  Beyond his struggles in school, Wonder is a great story about the capacity we all have to choose what we see in those around us.

What made this movie so touching was how a few of the kids at his school began to look past this boy’s disfigured face and see the positive attributes he possessed.  Once they focused beyond his appearance, they soon realized that he looked less like a freak and more like a friend.

While we may not be 5th graders any longer, we still have the choice in how we see those around us.   Let’s be aware of the opportunities we have to see beyond the appearances of those around us, and to focus on the things that matter, like character and kindness.  Because wouldn’t we like to be seen the same way by others?

A Patient Reminder

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This week my wife and I introduced a new cat to our house.  She’s a beautiful Siamese cat that is a little uncertain of her new surroundings.  As she’s getting familiar with us, I’ve been reminded that it’s a slow process that is best done patiently.

What I want to do is pick her up and squeeze and pet her.  However, right now she’s still not sure about us, so that would likely be off-putting, if not frightening for her.  While picking her up and petting her would be fun, we’re letting her slowly come to us as she feels comfortable doing so.  This approach certainly required patience, as it is usually much slower that we would like.

I think it’s like that’s with most positive changes we’d like to bring about in our lives.  My experience has been that most worthwhile pursuits take longer than I’d like them to, thus requiring me to be patient during the process.  For example, as I continue to learn the bass guitar, I wish I was further along in the process.  During this process I’m focusing on being patient and remembering that I need to focus less on being in a hurry to become proficient and more on what I need to do today to improve.  The result will happen if I am patient with the process.

Is there anything you’re currently working to improve that could benefit from a little patience; perhaps an improved relationship, an educational pursuit, or anything else that requires time to achieve?  If so, focus on what you need to do this day, and be patient that the results will follow.

Offering What We Have

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On a recent fly fishing trip my buddy was telling me about how his young daughter was feeling down one night and his wife asked if he could try to talk to her and cheer her up.  As my friend recounted, he wasn’t sure what to do but he thought about what he could offer his daughter at this moment.  “So”, he told me, “I started talking to her while belching.  And it worked!”  My friend’s daughter was soon smiling and laughing along with her eructing father.

I roared with laughter!  Never before have I heard a parent say, “I didn’t know what to do, so I started belching.”

I really love my friend’s approach to this situation.  First I love how, even though he wasn’t sure what to do, he answered the call to assist his daughter, who was having a rough moment.  It would have been easy for him to say something like, “that’s really not my area of expertise” or “she’ll be able to work through it herself”, but instead he decided to engage.  He decided to be a dad.

Second, he thought about what he had to offer.  Despite not knowing what to do at the moment, he quickly thought of what he could offer his daughter to lighten the mood.  It didn’t have to be a perfect, parentally-correct method; it just had to be something he could offer.

Lastly, he offered what he had.  He didn’t hold back, he didn’t say, “belching will never work”.  He simply offered what he had, and cheered up his daughter.  (He likely created a silly memory she will never forget.  I would have loved to hear my dad offer me belches of encouragement when I was a young boy!)

Whether it’s encouraging words, thoughtful actions, listening ears, or myriad other things, we all have something to offer those around us.  All we have to do is offer what we have.