Listen to People Who Challenge Your Thinking

How often is your thinking challenged in the course of a day, week, month, or year?  Are you regularly exposed to ideas and opinions that differ from your own, or do you usually listen to and communicate with people who think just like you?

I enjoy podcasts and have several that I subscribe and listen to each week.  Some of my favorites are the ones where the show host interviews a guest who tells about an accomplishment of theirs, and how they went about achieving it.  In these interviews, people often share their ideas and beliefs.  I like hearing the different thinking the guests bring because it allows me to be exposed to people and ideas that I might normally not be exposed to.

Often times, the ideas and beliefs being shared don’t align with my own thinking.  This challenges me to examine my thinking and ask myself why I think the way I do about a certain topic.  It’s been fun and has really expanded my thinking and ability to better articulate why I hold the thoughts and beliefs that I do or don’t hold.

It’s easy to dismiss someone or something that you don’t initially agree with, but I’ve often found that when I stop and listen with the curiosity to understand a different idea, a surprising thing happens: I actually begin to think.  I think about whether:

  • There is truth to their point.
  • Their thinking reveals holes in my own beliefs the thinking.
  • What they say bolsters or solidifies my current thinking.
  • There is any nugget I can take from their idea and apply in my life to help me achieve the results I desire?

We all have opportunities every day to be exposed to new ideas through the people we interact with, the books we read, and the media we watch and listen to.  Begin being mindful of the people that make you think, and start listening to them.  You certainly don’t have to agree with them, but at the very least, allow their ideas to engage your brain and cause real thinking to occur.

Don’t be too eager to automatically dismiss an idea that doesn’t completely align with your current thinking, or that is new and different.  Instead, examine the idea through the lens of your own life and see if there might be some pearls you could begin to apply.  You may be surprised by new options and opportunities that were never possible as a result of your old thinking.

How Are You Growing?

What do you look for when you set goals for your life?  What are their attributes?  Are they:

  • Easy to attain?
  • Within your comfort zone?
  • Not too challenging, so as to be assured of success?

If these were the types of goals I had set, or if I hadn’t set any goals at all, the question I’d be asking myself is, “If I’m not challenged, how am I growing?”

Part of growing and getting better at something, or getting better at life in general, is to do things that challenge us.  When we’re challenged by a new thought, goal, or idea, it causes us to do things differently than we have in the past.  That difference often causes discomfort, and that’s good.  While this discomfort is not always enjoyable, many times it is what leads us to the greatest growth and positive change we experience in our lives.

Take getting into shape, for example.  You can go to the gym and keep lifting the same light weights you started with and do the same light-level cardiovascular workout you’ve always done, because it is easy and you know you can do it, but how are does that help you grow in your strength and endurance and cause you to become the healthy individual you desire to be?  Where’s the challenge?  Where’s the growth?

Knowing that when we are challenged, growth occurs, where in your life could you stand to be challenged?  What challenging goals can you set for yourself today that will cause you to grow into the person or life you seek?   Once you’ve set those goals, decide in advance that you’ll persist through the discomfort that will occur when you are challenged, and know that doing so will result in rapid growth toward the person you’re striving to become.

Small Efforts Can Yield Big Results

Recently, I joined an online auditioning site for voice over (VO) talent.  The site provides a way to bring VO talent together with clients needing VO services.  Before joining this site I spent very little time actually practicing my VO skills, since I was primarily focused on where to find clients.  As a result, my VO skills didn’t improve as much as I would have liked.

Immediately after joining the site, I created a system for myself where I audition for a certain number of VO gigs per day, every day.  It’s not a large number of gigs.  It’s actually on the small side.  However, one thing I’ve been surprised by is how much my reads have improved after such a short time of consistently following my system.

The act of daily auditioning, which equates to practice, has started to compound.  It’s this compounding effect of relatively small numbers done consistently over time that will yield significant results.  This principle is true for anyone, whether you’re seeking to improve your VO skills, lose weight and get in shape, start a business, or become a better parent, spouse, or friend.  Never underestimate the power of small effort consistently applied over time.  It’s an often overlooked strategy.

Are there areas in your life where you could stand to make progress, but perhaps feel you can’t commit large amounts of time to commit to it?  Decide on a small amount of time, or other measure of output, that you can commit to working toward your objective on a daily basis, and get started today.  Don’t worry about how small your efforts are, or how big your objective is.  Just focus on causing a consistent effort.  You’ll be amazed at the progress you make in 1, 6, or 12 months and beyond.

Slowly Coming into Focus

Our lives should be moving toward something.  That “something” should be the life we envision for ourselves that consists of using our talents and skills applied in service to others, doing something we’re excited about.

Although this sounds good, what if you’re currently not living this life?  What if there’s discouragement caused by the gap between your envisioned life and the reality of your life today?  If that’s the case for you, I have encouraging news.

Here come some obvious truths about achieving our desired life that often get lost:

  1. We need to apply specific and consistent action that incrementally moves us toward our objectives.
  2. It takes time.

I heard the process of creating your desired life described recently as seeing a Polaroid picture coming into focus.  Remember those?  You take a photograph and wait several minutes as the picture comes into focus, revealing the image you just took a picture of.

It’s like that with achieving your desired life.  Most likely, the change from your current situation to where you want to be isn’t going to occur over night.  However, if you’re persistent, your life, like the Polaroid photo, will begin to come into focus and take shape, until it matches the vision you have been persistently pursing.

If you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life at this point take the following steps to cause progress:

  1. Have a vision in your mind of what you want your life to look like.
  2. Take action every day, no matter how small, which moves your life closer toward how you envision it.
  3. Remember that it takes time, so be persistent and stick with it.

Following these steps will not only cause the picture of your desired life to come into greater focus, it will cause the picture to become a reality as well.

Throw Something Out There

Sometimes all that’s needed is an idea, even if it’s a bad one.

Have you ever been I a group where a decision needs to be made, but no ideas or suggestions are coming?  I have!  (In fact, I was in one such meeting less than 2 hours prior to writing this blog.)  These gatherings can be frustrating because the focus of the group seems be on the problem versus finding a solution.

Sometimes I find that what’s needed most in this scenario is an idea, any idea, just to cause people to start thinking and narrowing down the discussion toward a decision.  Throwing out an idea, be it good, bad, or ugly, gets the conversation off of the problem, and focuses it on a solution.

Say you throw out a bad idea to solve the problem at hand and no one in the group likes it.  Great!  The group’s negative reaction to the idea is the spark that begins the conversation toward a better idea, and ultimately a solution and course of action.

Don’t worry about looking dumb or foolish.  Instead, focus on starting the conversation and navigating discussion toward a solution.  Specifically, ask others what they think of the idea or what they don’t like about it or how they would change it.  Use their ideas to build on the initial bad idea.  Instead of trying to be the one that comes up with all the great ideas, focus on being the one that can take input from the group  and orchestrate solutions by leveraging the knowledge and wisdom of its members.

Look for opportunities this week to throw out initial ideas and then help others to shape and build them into a viable solution to the problem at hand. You’ll become a valuable contributor to your team and a person of action; a person who causes something to happen.

Make it Your Own

The only limitations you will ever have are the ones you put on yourself.”

                ~Unknown

No matter how often I hear this quote, or any variation of it, it always resonates with me.  It reminds me that anything is possible in my life and that the limits I face are usually the one I place upon myself.

One thing I like doing with a quote I find especially inspiring is to make it my own.  I do this by changing the pronouns so the quote speaks specifically to me.  For example, I could replace all the pronouns with my name and come up with:

The only limitations Scott will ever have are the ones Scott puts on himself.”

 That’s a little better, but it still sounds like it could be written for anyone in the world named Scott.  A better variation would be:

The only limitations I will ever have are the ones I put on myself.”

That’s powerful!  When I read this version, there is no mistake that it is directed specifically at me.  However, there’s one more thing I can do to unleash the full power of this truth in my own life, and that is to speak it, out loud, on a regular basis.

When we read a quote or principle like this out loud, we’re not just reading the words; we’re also speaking them and hearing the encouraging words in our own voice.  Great things begin to happen when we begin speaking encouragingly to ourselves.  We don’t need to wait for others to encourage us, we can begin encouraging ourselves today.

What are some of your favorite quotes of encouragement, success, or inspiration?  (If you don’t have a favorite, check out the book of Proverbs.  It’s loaded with enough great principles and quotes to keep you supplied for a lifetime!)

Take the steps below to cause the encouraging words of others to hold specific meaning for you:

  1. Identify or discover 1 or 2 of your favorite quotes or principles.
  2. Determine how you can re-word them to make them your own.
  3. Put the re-written quote somewhere where you will see it every day.
  4. Every time you see the quote, say it out loud to yourself.

Try this for a few weeks.  You’ll be encouraged by a message that’s written just for you.

I’d love to see how you’ve re-written your favorite quote to make it your own.  Place it in the Comments section of this post and share your encouraging words with others.

Continue to Dream

What do you dream about?  A better question might be, “Are you still dreaming?”  When you envision your future, do you think of your dreams and all the possibilities that lie before you, or do you have thoughts about opportunities lost, time squandered, or the feeling that it’s too late to pursue your dreams?

 

Here some really great news:  there’s’ no such thing as being too old to dream!  We’re not required to jettison all our unrealized dreams when we reach a certain age.  Nor are we restricted from picking up new dreams after a certain birthday has passed.  We are free to dream and pursue those dreams as long as we have a pulse.  That is so encouraging and inspiring to me!  It’s encouraging because it reminds me that life is an adventure to be lived until our very last days, and inspiring because it causes me to realize that each of us should, at all times, have at least one dream that we are actively pursuing.

Dreams give purpose, excitement, and direction to our lives when we are actively thinking about and pursuing them.  The mere acts of having and pursuing our dreams make us interesting as people both to others and to ourselves.  How boring it would be to just drift along without any dreams or ambitions to help guide and direct our lives?

Perhaps you’ve had dreams at one time that you’ve neglected, or maybe you’ve never really given much thought to a dream you have buried inside of you.  If you’ve been distracted from your dreams, reconnect with them today.  If you don’t have any specific dreams, spend the next several days, or even weeks thinking about what you’d like to accomplish with your life.

Once you’ve reconnected with, or defined your dreams, think about them every day.  See yourself working toward your dream and ultimately achieving them.  Then, with this vision in mind, begin making progress every day toward the pursuit and fulfillment of those dreams.

Begin living an interesting life by identifying, visualizing, and finally pursing your dreams.  Today is the perfect time to start.

Reach Out and Renew a Connection

A few weeks ago I learned about a new professional field that focuses specifically on customers’ experience within an organization or business.  I was excited to discover this new field and eager to learn more about it and how I could become a part of it.

Through my research I found that a previous colleague from many years ago was currently working and active in this new customer experience field.  Since I was eager to learn more about this field, I thought I’d cause something to happened and reach out to them and see if they’d be interested in talking to me about their current position and the customer experience work they do.

I’m so glad I reached out to them!  We me t for lunch and spent over an hour and a half talking about customer experience, their role in the industry, and where it is heading in the future.  I got to ask a ton of questions and gained some valuable insight as well as suggestions for getting the field myself.  In addition I got to reconnect with someone over a common interest.  It was a great experience.

It’s so easy to avoid reaching out to others and asking for help, suggestions, or guidance.  However, doing so robs us of opportunities to build connections with others, which is actually fun to do.

Do you know anyone you haven’t talked to in a while who has experience, skills, or insights that you’d like to learn more about?  If so, don’t hesitate to reach out to them and make an appointment to talk with them over lunch, coffee, or any other event or venue that is conducive to conversation.  You’ll not only benefit from what they share with you, you’ll probably make the other person’s day b showing an interest in what they do.

Don’t wait.  Reconnect with someone today.

Leave Room for Someone Interesting

My wife and I were recently flying from Portland Oregon to Phoenix Arizona on Southwest Airlines.  On Southwest, prior to boarding, you line up at the gate according to your assigned boarding number and select your own seats once you get on the plane.  As we boarded the aircraft, I moved into a window seat and my wife sat on the aisle seat, leaving a vacant seat in between us.  When I asked what she was doing she said the flight wasn’t full and wanted to keep the row of seats to ourselves.

I noticed other people had been doing this also, in an effort to avoid having to sit by a stranger.  After she told me what she was doing, I suggested that she scoot in the middle seat to leave the aisle seat open, because someone interesting might sit there.  She didn’t seem too thrilled with my idea.

As the plane became fuller, her plan began to crumble and she eventually had to move to the middle seat next to me to make room for other passengers.  We were fortunate to have a kind and interesting lady sit next to us that who shared some of her life experience, as well as provided some vacation suggestions for our destination.  We had a great conversation and were able to connect with another human being who we had not even known prior to our flight.  It was a nice way to pass the time.

As we got off the plane, said our good byes, and parted ways, I was thinking about how enjoyable the conversation was and how easily we would have never met that nice lady, had we not left room for her.

It’s easy to keep our guard up and stay detached from people we don’t’ know.  We’re taught as youngsters not to talk to strangers.  This is good when you’re young, but I think as we get older and more discerning, leaving room for opportunities to connect with people we don’t know is crucial to expanding our thinking and connect with other people.  How boring and small our lives would be if we limit our interactions to only those people we already know.  Think about this:  all the people you already know were at one point strangers.

Cause something to happen in your life that leaves room for you to connect with interesting people.  Leave a seat open next to you, greet the person sitting next to you at an event or in line, and smile more.  You’ll create opportunity to connect with and learn from others in ways you wouldn’t have experienced before.  And who knows, you may even meet someone interesting.

What Are You Thinking?

“We become what we think about.”

~ Earl Nightingale

“We move in the direction of our dominant thoughts.”

~ Hundreds of philosophers, scholars, and leaders

Our thoughts chart the course that our actions follow.  As you’re pursuing your goals and dreams, remember to regularly take inventory of your thoughts and ask yourself:

  • Are my thoughts helping me or hurting me in the pursuit of my goals?
  • What do I need to start thinking about?
  • What do I need to stop thinking about?

One of the biggest barriers holding us back from what we want in life is often our own thinking.  Begin assessing the quality of your thinking and determine what your thoughts are causing to happen in your life.  Then make any necessary changes to align your thinking with the goals and dreams you have for your life.

All change first begins as a thought, and your thinking is the greatest force you have for achieving the goals, relationships, and life you desire.

Make sure your thinking is taking you where you want to go.