success

Reach Out and Renew a Connection

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A few weeks ago I learned about a new professional field that focuses specifically on customers’ experience within an organization or business.  I was excited to discover this new field and eager to learn more about it and how I could become a part of it.

Through my research I found that a previous colleague from many years ago was currently working and active in this new customer experience field.  Since I was eager to learn more about this field, I thought I’d cause something to happened and reach out to them and see if they’d be interested in talking to me about their current position and the customer experience work they do.

I’m so glad I reached out to them!  We me t for lunch and spent over an hour and a half talking about customer experience, their role in the industry, and where it is heading in the future.  I got to ask a ton of questions and gained some valuable insight as well as suggestions for getting the field myself.  In addition I got to reconnect with someone over a common interest.  It was a great experience.

It’s so easy to avoid reaching out to others and asking for help, suggestions, or guidance.  However, doing so robs us of opportunities to build connections with others, which is actually fun to do.

Do you know anyone you haven’t talked to in a while who has experience, skills, or insights that you’d like to learn more about?  If so, don’t hesitate to reach out to them and make an appointment to talk with them over lunch, coffee, or any other event or venue that is conducive to conversation.  You’ll not only benefit from what they share with you, you’ll probably make the other person’s day b showing an interest in what they do.

Don’t wait.  Reconnect with someone today.

Leave Room for Someone Interesting

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My wife and I were recently flying from Portland Oregon to Phoenix Arizona on Southwest Airlines.  On Southwest, prior to boarding, you line up at the gate according to your assigned boarding number and select your own seats once you get on the plane.  As we boarded the aircraft, I moved into a window seat and my wife sat on the aisle seat, leaving a vacant seat in between us.  When I asked what she was doing she said the flight wasn’t full and wanted to keep the row of seats to ourselves.

I noticed other people had been doing this also, in an effort to avoid having to sit by a stranger.  After she told me what she was doing, I suggested that she scoot in the middle seat to leave the aisle seat open, because someone interesting might sit there.  She didn’t seem too thrilled with my idea.

As the plane became fuller, her plan began to crumble and she eventually had to move to the middle seat next to me to make room for other passengers.  We were fortunate to have a kind and interesting lady sit next to us that who shared some of her life experience, as well as provided some vacation suggestions for our destination.  We had a great conversation and were able to connect with another human being who we had not even known prior to our flight.  It was a nice way to pass the time.

As we got off the plane, said our good byes, and parted ways, I was thinking about how enjoyable the conversation was and how easily we would have never met that nice lady, had we not left room for her.

It’s easy to keep our guard up and stay detached from people we don’t’ know.  We’re taught as youngsters not to talk to strangers.  This is good when you’re young, but I think as we get older and more discerning, leaving room for opportunities to connect with people we don’t know is crucial to expanding our thinking and connect with other people.  How boring and small our lives would be if we limit our interactions to only those people we already know.  Think about this:  all the people you already know were at one point strangers.

Cause something to happen in your life that leaves room for you to connect with interesting people.  Leave a seat open next to you, greet the person sitting next to you at an event or in line, and smile more.  You’ll create opportunity to connect with and learn from others in ways you wouldn’t have experienced before.  And who knows, you may even meet someone interesting.

What Are You Thinking?

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“We become what we think about.”

~ Earl Nightingale

“We move in the direction of our dominant thoughts.”

~ Hundreds of philosophers, scholars, and leaders

Our thoughts chart the course that our actions follow.  As you’re pursuing your goals and dreams, remember to regularly take inventory of your thoughts and ask yourself:

  • Are my thoughts helping me or hurting me in the pursuit of my goals?
  • What do I need to start thinking about?
  • What do I need to stop thinking about?

One of the biggest barriers holding us back from what we want in life is often our own thinking.  Begin assessing the quality of your thinking and determine what your thoughts are causing to happen in your life.  Then make any necessary changes to align your thinking with the goals and dreams you have for your life.

All change first begins as a thought, and your thinking is the greatest force you have for achieving the goals, relationships, and life you desire.

Make sure your thinking is taking you where you want to go.

The Soil of Today’s Activities

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Do you have a vision of how you’d like our life to look in 1, 5, or 10 years?  I do. One obvious thing I’m discovering is that my life won’t look like my vision of it all by itself.  It requires me to cause something to happen today, and every day, to ensure that my future will turn out the way I envision it.

I was reminded of this obvious truth from a quote on Todd Henry’s The Accidental Creative podcast that simply stated:

“The seeds of tomorrow’s brilliance are planted in the soil of today’s activity.”

This quote caused me to think about whether my activities the past several weeks have moved me closer to the vision I have for my life.  Upon reflection, I realized that I could stand to cultivate my own soil of today’s activities.  Here’s what I mean by this.

Two of my biggest obstacles to making the best use of my time today to ensure my desired future are:

  1. Spending too much time on daily tasks or chores.
  2. Allowing myself to get distracted by non-value added activities.

It is so easy for me to have a list of daily tasks I want to get done that they often get prioritized over more important activities that would progress me toward achieving my goals.  I also find it easy to get distracted by trivial things like checking my smartphone for new messages, looking up some non-urgent, non-important information, or beginning one task before closing the one I’m currently working on.

This way of functioning substitutes high value life-shaping activity for task-based activities that merely serve to perpetuate the status quo.  If all we do today is perform routine daily tasks and allow distraction to rule the day, then we shouldn’t be surprised when we look back on our lives and find we’ve made no progress toward the goals we’ve set for ourselves.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to combat inactivity and distraction.  Some suggestions include:

  1. Know where you want to go in life and what your goals are.  Knowing this is helpful because you can easily assess whether you’re off target or actually making progress toward our goals.
  2. Be aware of your tendencies and know what behaviors you habitually perform that waste time.  Regularly ask yourself, “Does this activity take me where I want to go or where I want to be in life?”

The tomorrow we will all live will be built on our activities of today.  Let’s be intentional about shaping the future we desire and mindful of how we’re spending our time today.  Your tomorrow depends on it.

Simply Communicate

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Why do we communicate with other people?  What’s the reason for having conversations, writing email, blogs, or even letters?  I think the whole idea of communication to share our thoughts, ideas, and experiences with others.  Ultimately, we all desire to have the people we communicate with understand our point enough to decide to agree with it, disagree, or add to it, thus moving the conversation forward.

One of the best ways I’ve found for being understood by others is to communicate in the most simple, straightforward manner possible.  Now I’m not saying communication needs to be low tech. However, the words, language, and structure of our communication should be as simple as possible to avoid becoming too complex or confusing.

When communicating with others, regardless of the medium, keep the following questions in mind:

  • Are the words I’m using easily understood by the listener or audience?
  • Am I using words or jargon that is confusing or meaningless to my listener?
  • Is there a more simple way to state what I’m saying?

I’m not suggesting that we all dumb down our speech to a 1st grade level (unless, of course, we’re talking to 1st graders).  What I am suggesting is that we be mindful of our audiences and communicate with them in ways that will foster greater understanding of the message and ideas we are attempting to share.

Pay attention to your communication this week and look for opportunities to simplify your message in order to bring greater clarity and understanding to your audience.  You’ll notice an increased ability to cause something to happen when your ideas are clearly and simply communicated.

A Great Place for Having Ideas

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One thing I really like about ideas is how they seem to come out of nowhere.  Think about it, one second your mind is empty, and the very next second, it produces this great new idea that was not in your possession the second before.  I’m amazed and marvel at the brain’s capacity to function like this.

I’m also amazed at the brain’s capacity to quickly forget a great idea.  I’ve often had a great thought and said to myself, “I’ll remember that later and … (insert whatever task I’d do with the idea).”  It makes sense at the time.  The idea is so clear and vivid at that moment, it seems extremely unlikely that I’ll forget what it is.  However, when “later” comes and I attempt to recall the idea, it’s gone.  How can I cause something to happen with a new idea I can’t even remember?  That’s so frustrating!

Earlier this week I was listening to Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership podcast with guest David Allen, productivity expert and author of Getting Things Done.  In the podcast he was talking about getting things out of your head an on paper or in a computer.  Somewhere, anywhere other than keeping them in your head, because if you’re trying to remember something you’re using up brain capacity that could otherwise be used for thinking, or focusing on the task you’re currently engaged in.

He made a comment that really resonated with me:  “Your head is for having ideas, not holding them.”

That makes so much sense to me, and has proven true when I’ve applied this principle in my own life.  When I want to recall a fact, event, book I want to buy or read, or any other such piece of information, I’m far more likely to remember it if I get it out of my head and into some other medium like a notepad, application, calendar, or piece of software.  Once I have it out of my head and somewhere else, where I can get to it again, my mind is freed up from thinking (or worrying) about it and can focus on other, more important things.

Hearing David Allen’s quote has caused me to be extra mindful about getting things out of my head in order to turn my mind loose on what it’s better suited for, such as thinking and generating ideas, rather than simply using it for lower level tasks that a sticky note or calendar can perform much better.

Pay attention this week to ideas, thoughts, or events you have that you need to get out of your head and captured somewhere else.  When ideas occur, capture them immediately and develop a system so you can go back and spend some time with them later.  I suspect you’ll be amazed at the treasure your mind regularly produces.

The Big Muscle

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As I was walking into work recently, I noticed our facilities guy Ralph rolling a large filing cabinet around on a small square wooden platform that had a caster wheel on each corner.  While on this platform, the large cabinet was obviously easy to move around.  I was intrigued with how Ralph got the cabinet onto the platform in the first place.  In my mind, I was thinking of how he might have done this, but it seemed like that it would have been challenging and involve some degree of brute force.

My curiosity finally won the day and I asked Ralph how he was able to get the big cabinet up on that tiny cart.  Ralph explained his method and how easy it was, using some leverage and surprisingly little effort.  After he finished his explanation, he looked at me smiling, pointed to his head and said, “You’ve got to use the big muscle first.”

I love that saying.  It’s so simple, yet so true.  Ralph was stating the obvious, though often forgotten principle, of first thinking about what you’re doing and creating a plan before just diving in and forcing something to happen.

I must admit that I don’t always remember to do this with tasks at hand either physical or mental.  So often, I attempt to cause something to happen by physical force or will, without first coming up with a logical approach to accomplishing the task.  Have you ever rushed into a task like that, without a first thinking about what might be the best approach?  I hope I’m not the only one.

As you face new tasks this week, take a few seconds to stop and see whether you would benefit from using the big muscle first.  If you’ve successfully completed the task a million times before, you can probably go ahead and jump right in.  However, if you are presented with a task you’ve never done before, or done very few times, it would most likely be beneficial to use the big muscle first and get a plan of attach in place instead of just diving in.

Give it a try.  See if your tasks don’t become easier to complete by using the big muscle first.  It’s just waiting to be put to work!

Expect to be Successful

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Earlier this week I was talking with a colleague who was telling me how they wanted to start riding their bike to work when the weather began getting nicer.  I was impressed with his declaration and told him that his plan sounded like a great idea.  After which he said, “Yeah, but I probably won’t actually do it.  I’ve already got my excuses lined up.”

His comment surprised me.  As I thought about it more, I wondered how often I’ve sabotaged my own efforts to get begin something by having a similar mindset.  If I’ve got a list of reasons or excuses why an endeavor will fail before I even start, how could I ever expect to be successful?  What’s the point of even trying?

It made me think of all the doubt and negative self-talk we can experience when undertaking a new endeavor (or just going through life) and how, just like my colleague’s comment, this kind of talk can sabotage our efforts, dash our initiative, and place a heavy lid on our potential.

Have you ever experienced this kind of action-stopping self-talk?  If so, here are some tools to help you combat this toxic way of thinking in the future:

  • Be mindful of your attitude, thinking, and the language you use.
  • When embarking on a new undertaking, see yourself being successful.  Tell yourself all the reasons why you will succeed.
  • When you think of potential barriers, think also of how you’ll overcome them.
  • Believe you can achieve the goal you’ve set out for yourself.  Not just an “I think I can” mentality, but rather know that you will be successful.  Remind yourself of this often.

We’ll never cause something to happen by holding a mindset that has “already lined up our excuses” for failure.  Remove that kind of thinking from your mind and replace it with thoughts of persevering, overcoming, and achieving your goals.

As many psychologists and speakers have said, we tend to move in the direction of our dominant thoughts.  Let’s all make sure our thoughts are taking us in a direction we want to go.

Are You Open to New Thoughts?

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Have you ever encountered a fact that aligns perfectly with something you strongly believe?  I have.  And when I do, I usually am left thinking how great the author of the particular thought is.  It’s a different story when we hear a fact that is completely contrary to, or pokes holes in, a strongly held belief or opinion we possess.  We are likely to reject the information as a weak argument or as being outright false.  Why is that?  Is it just human nature, or is there more to it than that?  The answer is… “Yes”.

It’s called “Confirmation Bias”, and we all suffer from it. Confirmation Bias means that we tend to believe facts and ideas that support our opinions, and discount or completely disregard any facts that do not.  It makes sense when you think about it.  When we hold a strong belief or opinion about something, we’re not going to be super-eager to accept someone else’s idea that is contrary to our own.  Instead, we look for things that support what we believe, because we don’t want to be considered wrong in a belief we hold.

The concern with Confirmation Bias is that if we’re not aware of it, our thinking can become narrow, thus limiting our potential for growth and understanding of new thoughts and ideas.  If we are totally resistant to hearing any new thought that is contrary to our own, our thinking becomes stagnant and we severely limit our existence to the small world of our never-expanding beliefs and opinions.

How can we cause something to happen in our lives so that Confirmation Bias does not restrict us to the pre-determined parameters of our current beliefs and opinions?   Here are some ideas:

  1. Be aware of the existence of this bias as you go through you daily life and begin to be mindful of when you may be reacting to it.
  2. Learn to become open to hearing and considering the “other side” of an argument.  This doesn’t mean that you have to jettison your current beliefs in favor of what the other person is saying.  But at least be open to hearing contradictory facts and beliefs and in order to make informed decisions about what you believe and why you believe it.  Who knows?  You may even be exposed to a new idea that supports further supports your current belief.
  3. Be curious and growth minded.  Become interested in the beliefs of others any specifically why they hold those beliefs.  You may not agree with their belief, or even the reason that they hold it.  However, you will come away with a greater understanding of the person and what motivates their currently held opinions.  This is a key step to productive and meaningful communication.  Not to mention, it’s just fun to do!

Start today to be aware of Confirmation Bias, and how it shapes our beliefs and the beliefs of those we interact with.  By doing so, you’ll be increasing your ability understand and relate to those around you on a deeper level.

Watch Your Language

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If I were to ask you, “What language are you using?” how would you respond?  I imagine most folks would say something like, “English” or “Spanish” or list some other language at which they are proficient.  I doubt many would respond with something like “negative”, “self-defeating”, or “discouraging”.  In fact, I doubt many people give much thought to what type of message their language is conveying beyond the words they speak.  The language we chose to use is powerful, and has a significant impact on our thinking and our outlook on life, as well as our influence on others.

Take a moment and think about the language you use.  Do you have favorite “go-to” phrases you often rely on in your conversations?  What language do you chose to use in describing the world around you?  Does your language consist of phrases like:

  • “That’s just not in the cards for me.”
  • “What’s the point?”
  • “Another day older and further in debt.”
  • “The little man just can’t get ahead.”

Consider the impact a diet of this type of language has your thinking, and on your outlook on life.  Regular use of this kind of negative language can become a vicious circle in your life.  It’s like this…

  • You use negative language that sends a discouraging message…
  • With continued use of this language, you start to believe the negative messages you’re sending…
  • As you begin believing the negative language you’re using, your thinking changes to incorporate these negative thoughts and beliefs…
  • You use even more negative language…

Where does it end?  Furthermore, what kind of people will this kind of language cause us to become?

What if we were to watch our language for the next week with the intent of making it more positive and encouraging?  What if we actually gave thought to the type of language we use and chose our words and phrases as carefully as we chose our next smart phone or automobile?  I’m certainly not saying we have to stop and spend several minutes contemplating everything before we say it.  What I am saying is that using positive (or negative) language is a habit, and we should be mindful enough to ensure that our language serves to improve our outlook and thinking as well as to lift up and encourage ourselves and those we interact with.  Ultimately, we want to build the habit of using positive language.

If you need some help watching your language, cause something to happen by focusing on the following:

  • Begin replacing negative phrases with ones that are more positive and uplifting.  For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never be able to do that.”  Say, “I don’t know how to do that… yet.”
  • Be mindful of the triggers that cause your language to be negative.  Maybe it’s events, locations, or certain people.  When you know you’ll be exposed to one of these triggers, decide in advance that you’ll use language that is positive.  Maybe it’s even time to remove some of these triggers from your life.
  • Remove words from your vocabulary that have a negative connotation and consider reducing or eliminating profanity in your communication.

If you’ve been in the habit of using negative language, and you seek to use more positive language, realize that the change won’t occur overnight.  It will require continuous effort, but don’t let that stop you.  Stick with it!  For as you begin to watch your language, and consciously choose to make it more positive and uplifting, note the change that is also occurring in your thinking and your outlook on life.  Changing our language for the better will change our thinking for the better as well.  And changing our thinking is the beginning of great things.

To begin, we need only to watch our language.