living well

It Feels Good When You’re Done

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Some activities that are good for us are a real drag to actually do.  You know what I’m talking about.  Like working in the yard, exercising, making sales calls for your business, cleaning out the garage, studying for a test, and several other just-as-exciting activities.  Getting started on tasks like these can be extremely difficult.  Since we don’t really want to do them, it becomes very easy to procrastinate.  We may be able to get started, only to punch out well before these tasks are completed.  Regardless, we are eager to put off doing these tasks as long as possible, or avoid doing them altogether.

What’s interesting though, is that all of these tasks have something in common.  They make us feel good… when we’re done with them.

Take exercising, for example.  We all know it’s good for us and we should be doing it.  However, I’m sure we can all think of several other things we’d rather be doing than exercising, and come up with several reasons why we should skip exercising today and do it “another day”.

But here’s the thing, when we do decide to exercise and actually see it through to completion, don’t we usually feel better having completed our workout?  Don’t we feel good knowing that we’ve put in the effort to cause something to happen that is good for us?  We may even feel proud of our accomplishment and think, “That wasn’t so bad”.

Just this morning I needed to make some sales calls, but I didn’t feel like doing it.  It’s certainly not my favorite thing to do, so I had to work really hard to keep from talking myself out of making them.  I did, in fact make my calls, and when I was done, I felt GREAT!  It was nice to have that big task checked off my list so early.  In fact, those calls didn’t take nearly as long as I thought they would and there is possibility that they will bear fruit in the future.  I’m glad I made those calls.

So what activity, that you know is beneficial, are you struggling to complete because it isn’t fun to do?  Once you have this activity in mind, think about how good it would feel to actually complete it.  Then, use the anticipation of that feeling to get started on that activity.  Remind yourself how good it will feel when you’re finished.  My guess is that, once you’re finished, you’ll feel better than you thought you would.

You’re Unique

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Whenever I’m in a large crowd of people I’m amazed at the fact that each person has a unique and different appearance (identical twins notwithstanding).  With all the combinations of facial features, body types, skin and hair color, height and weight possibilities, no 2 people are exactly alike in appearance.  Each person is unique.  I love that!

In addition to physical features every person is also unique in their mix of gifts and talents.  Unlike hair color or height and weight, a person’s gifts and talents are not always visibly recognizable to others, or to the person who possesses them.  It’s easy for us to see a talent being used in other people, but we can often miss, or even dismiss the unique talents and gifts that we possess. When we see others’ talent being used it’s easy to think, “I wish I were talented like so-and-so“ or “I’m just not that talented”.   Of our own talents, we may even think, “It’s not a big deal” or “There’s nothing special about that”.  I disagree.  Your talents are a big deal, and they are something special.

I think we are at our best when we are using our gifts and talents on a regular basis.  We perform our greatest work, give our greatest effort, and make our greatest contribution when we engage them.  That’s why it’s so important for us to be aware of our gifts and talents and seek to use them often in the course of our daily lives.

Spend some time over the next couple of days reflecting on your unique gifts and talents.  As you do, think of opportunities to use them to cause something to happen in your personal or professional life. Also, realize that no one else on the planet has the exact same make up of gifts and talents that you do.

You truly are unique!

 

On Quitting

/ Scott / Leave a comment

“Winners never quit and quitters never win!”  Really?  We’ve all been taught not to quit, and that quitting is failure, but I don’t think that necessarily true.

What if you are in a job, career, business endeavor, or educational pursuit that you realize isn’t going to take you where you want to go in life?  Should you continue on, knowing it’s not what you’re excited or passionate about, or should you quit and pursue something that’s a better fit for you?  I don’t think there is anything noble about sticking with something that you know isn’t working or that you know won’t lead to success.  If that’s the case, I say quit.  Immediately!

However, I don’t want to make a blanket statement that says we should always quit.  If for example, we’re pursuing an endeavor that we’re passionate about and that will take us toward the goals we’ve set for ourselves, we should stick with it.  Often when we start something new, the beginning stages are fun and exciting.  But soon the excitement wears off and it’s time to start doing the hard work to cause something to happen in order to be successful.  At this point we shouldn’t quit, but rather apply our efforts to get through the challenging work to get started.  This NOT the time to quit.

When considering whether or not to quit, we should ask ourselves some questions like:

  • Is this path I’m considering quitting going to take me where I want to go in life and help me achieve the goals I’ve laid out for myself?
  • Am I quitting just because it’s getting hard?
  • Could I be more effective/fulfilled/successful doing something else?
  • Will my increased or continued efforts cause me to be successful?

Give yourself honest answers to these questions, as they will help you determine your course of action.

Is there anything currently in your life that you need to consider quitting or stop giving thought to quitting?  If so, ask yourself the tough questions, make your decision, and take action.  You’ll either be freed up to pursue something more fulfilling, or you’ll put yourself in a position to refocus your efforts to move ahead.

Don’t delay.  Your future awaits!

Your Puzzle-Box Picture

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I’m not a huge fan of jigsaw puzzles, but I am fascinated by the process of putting one together.  You start with all these little pieces, a box top with a picture of what the puzzle is supposed to look like, and then you get to work.  First, you may begin looking for the corner pieces or any piece with a flat edge so you can frame in the picture with the boarder.  From there, maybe you look for all the pieces with the same color as a feature in the picture, so you can get that section put together.  Eventually, many of the pieces get connected and the picture starts to come into view and look exactly like the picture on the puzzle box.

What’s most interesting about the puzzle assembling process is how much time is spent looking at the picture on the puzzle box.  We constantly glance at it in order to get a clear picture (literally!) of what the finished product is going to look like.  We use that picture to guide us in the process.

The picture on the puzzle box reminds me of our goals and the life we desire for ourselves.  Our goals and desires, much like the picture on the puzzle box do several things for us:

  • They guide us and influences our decisions
  • They keep us focused and mindful of what we’re pursuing
  • They help us clearly see where we are going, even though we are not there yet

Imagine trying to put a puzzle together without having a picture to reference.  It would be extremely challenging without having the desired goal that the picture on the box provides.

Now imagine a life without goals, desires, or aspirations.  How would you know where you’re going or what kind of life you want if you didn’t have a clear “picture” of the life you are trying to create?  How would you know if /when you got there? How would you know if you’re on track or if your efforts are making a difference as you move along life’s path?

Do you have a “puzzle box” picture of your goals and purpose for your life clearly in your mind?  In your attempts to cause something to happen, do you clearly understand where you want your actions to take you?  Begin today either creating or clarifying the puzzle box picture of how you’d like your life to be, and then look at it often.  It will bring clarity, direction, and purpose as you assemble the puzzle of the life you desire.

Do the Things That Are Easy to Do

/ Scott / Leave a comment

We tend to think greatness and big achievements come from huge effort and doing things that are hard to do.  Actually, the effort and degree of difficulty it takes to achieve something significant is usually quite small… and easy.  More important than the degree of effort, is the consistency of the small effort that’s put forth doing the things that are easy to do.

Suppose we have a goal of losing 20lbs.  There is not Herculean effort you can make in one day that would enable you to lose those pounds.  Instead, what’s required is doing things that are easy to do, and then doing them on a consistent basis over a period of time, like eating smaller portions, drinking fewer sugary beverages, and getting your heart rate up every day.  These aren’t difficult things to do. In fact, they are rather easy!  What we need is to do them every day and we are practically guaranteed to see results, as long as we are consistent.

The results may not come not come right away.  In the beginning, it may not feel like your efforts are even making a difference.  However, if we consistently do these easy things, we will begin to see results.  Probably sooner than we think!

The problem is that these small things that are easy to do are also easy NOT to do.  It’s easy not to exercise.  It’s also easy not to have a glass of water, but to have a soda instead.  The truth is that you won’t really notice if you exercise or not… at least today.  However, after several months or years of drinking soda instead of water and failing to exercise, you will notice.

The point is that the things we need to do to cause something to happen that we desire in our lives, like lose weight, build wealth, start a business, or improve our relationships, are actually quite easy.  They just need to be done consistently over a period of time.

What easy things do you need to begin doing consistently over time in order to take your life in the direction you want to go?  What would you be able to achieve by doing so?

For more on this topic, I’d recommend reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.  The concept and principles are so simple and so effective.  We need only apply them to see significant results.

Unnecessary Roadblocks

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I’m surprised at how easily I can unknowingly put limits on myself that rob me of the opportunity to engage in new life experiences.  For example, when someone presents me with an opportunity to try something new, or to take a course of action that is different from my normal mode of operation, occasionally, before I finish thinking about it, I hear my own voice telling the other person why it won’t work or why it’s a bad idea.  Sometimes this occurs seemingly automatic.  This is not a tendency that I want to take root and become a habit in my life.

Why do we put limits on ourselves lives this?  Living out of fear, playing it safe, or staying in our comfort zone is no way to live a vibrant, fulfilling life we desire.

I’m becoming very mindful of this tendency in my life.  So now,  when I recognize it, I immediately acknowledge it and purposely examine my response to determine if it is coming out of fear or a desire to stay within my comfort zone, versus a legitimate concern.  If it’s a legitimate concern, I act accordingly.  However, if I find I’m acting out of fear or complacency, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m afraid of, or why I’m so reluctant to say yes.  I also remind myself that I’m someone who likes to shake up the routine, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

I also realize that this tendency has caused me to miss out on some experiences I probably would have enjoyed.  As I look back, I’ve always been glad when I’ve gone against this tendency of putting unnecessary limits on myself.  And each time I do, my resolve becomes stronger to continue to do so in the future.

Is this a tendency you occasionally face?  If so, be on the lookout for it, so when it occurs, you can cause something to happen by stopping yourself from placing unnecessary roadblocks on your path to the abundant life.

Evaluating Our Routines

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Routines are nice because they bring order, structure, and even comfort to our lives.  They help us achieve our goals like exercise or mastery of a particular topic by providing the daily discipline to move ahead in these areas.  Routines also come in the form of who we hang out with, the places we go, and what we do with our free time.  Much like habits, routines occur without a lot of thought on our part.  They happen almost automatically.  That’s a good thing when our routines move us in a positive direction.

Have you ever considered though, that perhaps your routines are holding you back?  Is there a goal you want to achieve that you just can’t get traction on?  Maybe you’re considering a life change, but can’t see exactly how you’ll make it happen.  Perhaps what is required is a change to one or more of your routines.

Several years ago I heard the comment that if you want to do something big or different with your life, your future is going to have to look completely different from your past.  This is absolutely true.  What we’ve done with our lives so far has brought us to where we are today.  However, if we aspire to do something different with our lives, it will undoubtedly require changing our routines, either by adding new ones or removing old routines that no longer add the value required to move ahead.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we need to jettison all our current routines and start anew.  Some routines are good and should be kept because they bring satisfaction and joy to our lives.  However, in our pursuit to cause something to happen, we should evaluate those routines that no longer align with the direction we’ve charted and either adjust them so they can help take us where we want to go, or discontinue them.

What direction have you charted for your life?  What goals and aspirations are you currently pursuing?  Do you currently have any routines in your life that are a barrier, or make it difficult to move ahead with your goals?  If so, seriously examine your current routines and determine how they can be altered to better serve you, whether you should stop doing them, or if there are new routines you need to employ.

Changing our routines may seem like a tough thing to do, but it is crucial if we desire different outcomes than we are currently experiencing.  Be bold and spend some time this week honestly evaluating your current routines and any potential changes to them that may be required.  The achievement of your goals and the life you desire depends on it.

Be Mindful of What You’re Causing

/ Scott / 1 Comment

When pursuing a goal, we usually know the desired outcome we seek.  We know exactly what we want to cause to happen and we take actions to make it so.  This is good.  It helps us intentionally progress toward our goals.  However, we can also unintentionally cause something to happen that we might not want, if we are not mindful of how or words or actions can effect others.

Earlier this week I found that my actions had produced a negative experience for my wife.  It was something that I neither wanted nor intended to bring about.  It made me wonder how many times a day I am unintentionally causing something to happen because I am not paying attention.  This experience reminded me of my word of the year:  mindful.

Being mindful is being aware of our actions and how they affect us and others.  It is also avoiding the temptation to go on auto-pilot during the day, but instead to actively engage and give thought to what we say and do, realizing that our actions can have an impact on others, whether we’re mindful of them or not.

None of us intentionally want our actions to yield a bad result.  I think it’s safe to say that we don’t want to unintentionally yield bad results either.  Let’s commit to being mindful, not only in the pursuit of our goals, but also in our interactions with those around us.  I think we’ll be pleased with the positive results that we’ll see.

Help Someone Get What They Want

/ Scott / Leave a comment

“The entire world, with one tiny exception, is made up of other people.”

~John Maxwell

This is such a true statement.  If you’ve ever tried to cause something to happen that required the assistance of others, you’ve most assuredly run into this reality.

This quote reminds me that, while we all have my own unique goals, agendas, mindset and world view, so does everyone else on the planet.  I think it important for us to remember that to each person, their goals and agendas are the most important ones to them.  Any agenda I have, to them, is secondary to their own.   That makes sense right?  Most folks are concerned for other people, but their primary concern is for themselves.

This can be challenging when we need the assistance of others.  How do we get assistance from someone who has focus and priorities that are different from our own?    I think Zig Ziglar’s signature saying is a great guide:  “You can get everything you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.”  If we need help from someone who is busy with their own priorities, why don’t we offer to help them first?  Before seeking assistance from them, what if we first offered assistance to them?

I know, you’re thinking, “They’ll just take my help and not help me in return.”  It’s possible.  But I think we’d be surprised how often people are willing to help you when you first offered to help them.

Let’s look for opportunities to help others get what they want.  Not as a way of being manipulative in order to get our way, but as a way of conveying to others that we understand how important their goals and agendas are to them.

The New Normal

/ Scott / 1 Comment

I like change.  Change can bring opportunity, new experiences, and adventures that shake up our daily routine.  Although, I think my thoughts on change are probably like that of most people, as expressed in the following quote:

“We all like change, to the extent that it makes what we’re already doing even better.”

I certainly like change when it benefits me, or improves what I’m already doing.  However, sometimes events occur that change our lives in a way that we do not desire or that we would not have chosen for ourselves.  These could be things like a severed relationship, the loss of a loved one, an unexpected illness, or a host of other events.  As a result, our lives can be changed forever.  The way we once knew things, will never be again, and the future implications are yet to be determined.  One thing we do know is that the future will look very different from our recent past.  This difference is what will become our “new normal”.

Here’s the good news about the new normal:  we have the opportunity to largely determine what that new normal will look like.  We can shape it by deciding what we want it to consist of, and taking steps to bring about that future we envision, thus creating our new normal.

Sure, the situation that caused this change is still present, but that doesn’t mean it has to be what defines our future.  We can spend all of our energy bemoaning our misfortune and focusing on the event that caused this new normal.  We can also squander our ability to define what normal will be and leave it up to others or circumstance to define for us.  But I don’t believe any of those options will yield the results we’re looking for.

If you find yourself facing an event that includes the promise of a new normal, and after you’ve had sufficient time to grieve, get angry, mourn, etc, begin to envision what you want your new normal to look like.  Think about all the things you’d like it to consist of.  Then, when you’re ready, cause something to happen by taking action to turn your vision into the reality of your new normal.

Your future-self will thank you.