“I wish I had spent more time on my smart phone.” ~no one on their deathbed…EVER!
Every day I observe people who spend significant time on their smart phones while ignoring those around them, even when those around them are family or friends. That always makes we wonder, “What on your smart phone is so exciting that it causes you to willingly ignore those right in front of you?”
The thought of our last days on earth tend to bring into focus what’s really important to us. Usually, what we say is most important are those closest to us. It is often these people that we would like to spend our last days on Earth with. I say, “Why wait until our last days? Why don’t we put down our devices and start connecting with those people NOW, before it’s too late.”
This may cause you to miss a few social media posts or spend less time playing your favorite game on your smart phone, but isn’t that worth it?
Hopefully, it is.
I prefer the window seat whenever I fly, because the view is spectacular! Everything appears so peaceful. Mountain ranges are picturesque. Cities appear slow, calm and quite. Everything seems to be in order. From 30,000 feet above, things look pretty good.
This peaceful view, however, hides the reality the conditions below. Frigid winter temperatures, scorching summer heat, or a congested, noisy city aren’t really noticeable when viewed at in climate controlled comfort at 30,000 feet.
It’s not until we get up close to the environment that we realize things are markedly different thank they first appeared.
I think it’s like that with people as well. From a distance, people often appear to be free of difficulty or challenges in their life. Yet it’s not until we get close up and connect with someone that we realize they are facing challenges, concerns or difficulties that aren’t easily seen from a distance.
This thought reminds me that most people are likely struggling with, worried about, or concerned with something that’s not visible to us. It also reminds me that I would do well to approach others with grace and, when appropriate, the willingness to be close up.
My wife and I spend a long weekend in New York City a couple of weeks ago. It was our second time in the city and we got to see several sights we didn’t get to on our first visit, like Ellis Island, the 9/11 museum, and walking across the Brooklyn Bridge on a beautiful sunny day. We had a great time!
One of my favorite things about being in New York City is hearing all the different languages being spoken and interacting with people from all over the world. It again reminds me that regardless of where we’re from or our cultural background, we’re all more similar than we realize.
For example, we were outside Federal Hall Saturday morning the same time as a large group from China. I was intrigued by this group as I noticed how they all wanted their picture taking under the large statue of George Washington. I especially enjoyed watching all of the different poses they were making. There was everything from the classic family vacation photo, to the “thumbs up” sign, as well as both arms stretched skyward, all the while, with faces displaying big genuine grins.
We witnessed this type of scene being played out throughout the city with people from all over the globe. Regardless of their culture or homeland, they looked like tourists having a good time. In that respect, we all looked the same.
It was refreshing to see, in light of current global political climate. There seems to be a lot of focus, and likely fear, on how we’re different from one another. It was nice to see just how similar we are all as fellow human beings.
Many years ago, I spent a fall and winter at Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri while attending Army basic training. Those were some frigid months that gave me a new found appreciation for how frozen vegetables must feel. During those below-freezing temperatures however, I was blessed to have also seen some of nature’s most beautiful work.
One night after dinner we were lined up in formation to march back to the barracks. (The Army loves to march!) As we were standing in the dry frigid air of night, waiting for the drill sergeant to bark out commands to being marching, it began to snow. I noticed a couple of flakes fall on the soldier’s coat in front of me, and as they did, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Each individual flake was so perfectly and uniquely shaped, just like you see in Christmas cartoons or beautiful Christmas ornaments. Never before had I seen an individual snow flake. Sure, I knew that snow is made of up individual flakes, but this was the first time I had actually seen how detailed, elegant, fragile, and beautiful a snowflake really is. It was a scene I have never forgotten.
It’s hard to believe that something like a ski slope, a snow covered meadow, a snowy mountaintop, or even an avalanche is made up of millions of unique, individual, beautiful snowflakes. I think it’s a lot like that with people as well. It’s easy to just see people as communities, nations, families, organizations, or other large collections. But what’s interesting to me is that every one of the aforementioned groups is made up of unique, individual, beautiful people.
As you’re moving around in the different groups of people in the weeks ahead, take notice of the individuals that make up those groups. Look at how unique each one of them is and how their uniqueness adds to the group they’re in.
And don’t forget to look at yourself as well. You are also unique and valuable to the larger groups you are a part of, and those groups are fortunate to have you.
Would you ever walk around deliberately throwing pointed darts at people, hitting them with a club, or punching them in the gut? Of course not! In fact, if we did, we’d likely get arrested! Yet everyday people are equally, if not more, careless with the words they choose to launch at others.
Words are interesting because they don’t have any preference on how or for what purpose they are used. They are amoral and only become positive or negative based solely on how we choose to wield them.
Look at the contrast between the attributes of positive and negative words:
Our words have an impact on people, especially on those closest to us. And though they can be positive or negative, they are often not soon forgotten.
This underscores the importance of the awareness we should possess regarding the words we use and how we’re treating others with them. Are we being careless with our words or are we using them to encourage and edify others? If we could see a visual representation of the words we’re delivering to others would they resemble sticks, darts, clubs, and stones, or would they look more like a smile, a pat on the back, a high-five, and a hug?
We do have a choice regarding the words we use. They leave our lips wrapped in our intentions. Let’s intention to deliver positive words that bless others versus cursing them. When we do, we’ll likely notice that the words we receive from others are kind and positive as well.
My wife and I recently made a visit to Crater Lake National Park. Although we had been there several times before, (we’re fortunate to live relatively close to this gem) I was once again captivated by the overwhelming beauty of this natural treasure.
A video playing at the park’s Visitor Center described how the natural beauty of Crater Lake that we see today is the result of a very violent volcanic past. A severe eruption of Mt. Mazama left the area looking like a “moonscape”, as described by the park video. However, years of wind and weather have transformed the once barren site to the beautiful lake we see today.
The beauty of the lake is unmistakable. It got me thinking that there are people who are a lot like Crater Lake. Not that they have “off-the-charts” physical beauty, but rather they have beauty that comes from a decision to choose a positive response to a significant “eruption” in their own life experience. For example, they choose to:
- Be victorious versus defeated.
- Focus on what they are grateful for versus what they’ve lost.
- Encourage others facing the same or similar experience.
- Live their life with purpose regardless of past circumstances.
These, and similar choices, to past “eruptions” in life make for a beautiful person.
Seeing physical beauty in nature, like Crater Lake, is easy. However, seeing beauty as a result of people’s difficult life experience is not always as obvious.
As we’re interacting with others, let’s remember that we’re often not aware of what they have experienced in life. And, if you’re ever blessed to have someone share their past “eruption” with you and how they have chosen a positive path forward… stand in awe at the beauty before you.
On Wednesday June 15, 2016 I left an organization I was with for almost 19 years to pursue a new and exciting opportunity. In the days prior, as I was reminiscing about my time there, my thoughts were not primarily centered on accomplishments and successes, but rather on the people I’d worked with and the memories we’d made.
While I was going around saying my good-byes to friends and colleagues I noticed that they too were recounting shared experiences. I couldn’t help realize that the shared experiences we have with others are what people remember. Whether the experience was good or bad, the fact that it was shared in pursuit of a common goal seemed binding and provided a sense of team, connection and togetherness. I like that because it shows that I didn’t go through my 19 years there unnoticed, and that I had an impact on the people I worked with, as they also did on me.
Shared experiences not only bind and connect people in the context of the workplace. Have you ever sat around with a friends or family members recalling events of the past with laughter, gratitude, frustration, or even disbelief that you all made it through? Often, it’s these kinds of conversations that we have with friends or family we haven’t seen in a while as a way to reset the relationship and begin reconnecting.
As we bump along with others in our day-to-day existence let’s make sure we’re mindful of the shared experiences we’re creating and when the time comes, remind others of the experiences we’ve shared with them and what they meant to you in that experience.