habits

Slowly Coming into Focus

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Our lives should be moving toward something.  That “something” should be the life we envision for ourselves that consists of using our talents and skills applied in service to others, doing something we’re excited about.

Although this sounds good, what if you’re currently not living this life?  What if there’s discouragement caused by the gap between your envisioned life and the reality of your life today?  If that’s the case for you, I have encouraging news.

Here come some obvious truths about achieving our desired life that often get lost:

  1. We need to apply specific and consistent action that incrementally moves us toward our objectives.
  2. It takes time.

I heard the process of creating your desired life described recently as seeing a Polaroid picture coming into focus.  Remember those?  You take a photograph and wait several minutes as the picture comes into focus, revealing the image you just took a picture of.

It’s like that with achieving your desired life.  Most likely, the change from your current situation to where you want to be isn’t going to occur over night.  However, if you’re persistent, your life, like the Polaroid photo, will begin to come into focus and take shape, until it matches the vision you have been persistently pursing.

If you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life at this point take the following steps to cause progress:

  1. Have a vision in your mind of what you want your life to look like.
  2. Take action every day, no matter how small, which moves your life closer toward how you envision it.
  3. Remember that it takes time, so be persistent and stick with it.

Following these steps will not only cause the picture of your desired life to come into greater focus, it will cause the picture to become a reality as well.

Make it Your Own

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“The only limitations you will ever have are the ones you put on yourself.”

                ~Unknown

No matter how often I hear this quote, or any variation of it, it always resonates with me.  It reminds me that anything is possible in my life and that the limits I face are usually the one I place upon myself.

One thing I like doing with a quote I find especially inspiring is to make it my own.  I do this by changing the pronouns so the quote speaks specifically to me.  For example, I could replace all the pronouns with my name and come up with:

“The only limitations Scott will ever have are the ones Scott puts on himself.”

 That’s a little better, but it still sounds like it could be written for anyone in the world named Scott.  A better variation would be:

“The only limitations I will ever have are the ones I put on myself.”

That’s powerful!  When I read this version, there is no mistake that it is directed specifically at me.  However, there’s one more thing I can do to unleash the full power of this truth in my own life, and that is to speak it, out loud, on a regular basis.

When we read a quote or principle like this out loud, we’re not just reading the words; we’re also speaking them and hearing the encouraging words in our own voice.  Great things begin to happen when we begin speaking encouragingly to ourselves.  We don’t need to wait for others to encourage us, we can begin encouraging ourselves today.

What are some of your favorite quotes of encouragement, success, or inspiration?  (If you don’t have a favorite, check out the book of Proverbs.  It’s loaded with enough great principles and quotes to keep you supplied for a lifetime!)

Take the steps below to cause the encouraging words of others to hold specific meaning for you:

  1. Identify or discover 1 or 2 of your favorite quotes or principles.
  2. Determine how you can re-word them to make them your own.
  3. Put the re-written quote somewhere where you will see it every day.
  4. Every time you see the quote, say it out loud to yourself.

Try this for a few weeks.  You’ll be encouraged by a message that’s written just for you.

I’d love to see how you’ve re-written your favorite quote to make it your own.  Place it in the Comments section of this post and share your encouraging words with others.

Leave Room for Someone Interesting

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My wife and I were recently flying from Portland Oregon to Phoenix Arizona on Southwest Airlines.  On Southwest, prior to boarding, you line up at the gate according to your assigned boarding number and select your own seats once you get on the plane.  As we boarded the aircraft, I moved into a window seat and my wife sat on the aisle seat, leaving a vacant seat in between us.  When I asked what she was doing she said the flight wasn’t full and wanted to keep the row of seats to ourselves.

I noticed other people had been doing this also, in an effort to avoid having to sit by a stranger.  After she told me what she was doing, I suggested that she scoot in the middle seat to leave the aisle seat open, because someone interesting might sit there.  She didn’t seem too thrilled with my idea.

As the plane became fuller, her plan began to crumble and she eventually had to move to the middle seat next to me to make room for other passengers.  We were fortunate to have a kind and interesting lady sit next to us that who shared some of her life experience, as well as provided some vacation suggestions for our destination.  We had a great conversation and were able to connect with another human being who we had not even known prior to our flight.  It was a nice way to pass the time.

As we got off the plane, said our good byes, and parted ways, I was thinking about how enjoyable the conversation was and how easily we would have never met that nice lady, had we not left room for her.

It’s easy to keep our guard up and stay detached from people we don’t’ know.  We’re taught as youngsters not to talk to strangers.  This is good when you’re young, but I think as we get older and more discerning, leaving room for opportunities to connect with people we don’t know is crucial to expanding our thinking and connect with other people.  How boring and small our lives would be if we limit our interactions to only those people we already know.  Think about this:  all the people you already know were at one point strangers.

Cause something to happen in your life that leaves room for you to connect with interesting people.  Leave a seat open next to you, greet the person sitting next to you at an event or in line, and smile more.  You’ll create opportunity to connect with and learn from others in ways you wouldn’t have experienced before.  And who knows, you may even meet someone interesting.

What Are You Thinking?

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“We become what we think about.”

~ Earl Nightingale

“We move in the direction of our dominant thoughts.”

~ Hundreds of philosophers, scholars, and leaders

Our thoughts chart the course that our actions follow.  As you’re pursuing your goals and dreams, remember to regularly take inventory of your thoughts and ask yourself:

  • Are my thoughts helping me or hurting me in the pursuit of my goals?
  • What do I need to start thinking about?
  • What do I need to stop thinking about?

One of the biggest barriers holding us back from what we want in life is often our own thinking.  Begin assessing the quality of your thinking and determine what your thoughts are causing to happen in your life.  Then make any necessary changes to align your thinking with the goals and dreams you have for your life.

All change first begins as a thought, and your thinking is the greatest force you have for achieving the goals, relationships, and life you desire.

Make sure your thinking is taking you where you want to go.

The Soil of Today’s Activities

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Do you have a vision of how you’d like our life to look in 1, 5, or 10 years?  I do. One obvious thing I’m discovering is that my life won’t look like my vision of it all by itself.  It requires me to cause something to happen today, and every day, to ensure that my future will turn out the way I envision it.

I was reminded of this obvious truth from a quote on Todd Henry’s The Accidental Creative podcast that simply stated:

“The seeds of tomorrow’s brilliance are planted in the soil of today’s activity.”

This quote caused me to think about whether my activities the past several weeks have moved me closer to the vision I have for my life.  Upon reflection, I realized that I could stand to cultivate my own soil of today’s activities.  Here’s what I mean by this.

Two of my biggest obstacles to making the best use of my time today to ensure my desired future are:

  1. Spending too much time on daily tasks or chores.
  2. Allowing myself to get distracted by non-value added activities.

It is so easy for me to have a list of daily tasks I want to get done that they often get prioritized over more important activities that would progress me toward achieving my goals.  I also find it easy to get distracted by trivial things like checking my smartphone for new messages, looking up some non-urgent, non-important information, or beginning one task before closing the one I’m currently working on.

This way of functioning substitutes high value life-shaping activity for task-based activities that merely serve to perpetuate the status quo.  If all we do today is perform routine daily tasks and allow distraction to rule the day, then we shouldn’t be surprised when we look back on our lives and find we’ve made no progress toward the goals we’ve set for ourselves.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to combat inactivity and distraction.  Some suggestions include:

  1. Know where you want to go in life and what your goals are.  Knowing this is helpful because you can easily assess whether you’re off target or actually making progress toward our goals.
  2. Be aware of your tendencies and know what behaviors you habitually perform that waste time.  Regularly ask yourself, “Does this activity take me where I want to go or where I want to be in life?”

The tomorrow we will all live will be built on our activities of today.  Let’s be intentional about shaping the future we desire and mindful of how we’re spending our time today.  Your tomorrow depends on it.

Who’s Going to Decide

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We all have it, and we all have the ability to decide how we will spend it.  Although we can’t see it, its value is priceless and becomes more so the older we get.  The “it” I’m referring to, is time.

While we do, in fact, get to decide how we spend our time, most of us have several others who are more than eager to help us decide how our time should be spent, and their suggestions are usually focused on advancing their objectives instead of our own.

This doesn’t mean that all requests for our time are bad.  Some requests are welcomed and we’re more than eager to spend your time on it.  Other requests for our time we might not feel like committing to, but we want to support the cause or person asking, so we agree to give of our time.  And other requests neither interest nor benefit us, yet we’re still asked to give our time to it.

The biggest threat to our time is when we don’t have a decision process or priorities in place that help us determine how we’ll invest our time, and instead we simply agree to everyone’s request that comes along, leaving scarce little time for our own pursuits and well-being.

Don’t be afraid to place boundaries around your time.  Cause something to happen that ensures your time is protected by employing these or other boundaries around your time:

  •          Only allocate a specific amount of time, which you determine, to a request for your time.
  •          Decide in advance what causes you will or won’t support with your time.
  •          Decide how much of your time you’re willing to commit to others’ objectives.
  •          Know what’s important to you regarding the direction and goals you’ve set for your life and say “No” to those requests that don’t align.

Your time is a precious commodity. While it’s important, and fun, to spend your time helping and supporting others efforts, be mindful of how you’re spending (investing) your time to ensure that you are also moving closer to what you’ve defined as important in your own life.

Remember that our time is limited and we get to decide how to spend it, so spend it wisely!

How to Get Out of Prison

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Would you ever volunteer to spend several years of your life in prison?  Think about that.  Would you voluntarily decide to sacrifice, say, 10 or more years of your current life for that of a prison inmate?  My answer to that question is, “Are you kidding me?!  Who in their right mind would do something as stupid as that?!”  However, I think that every day, many people voluntarily send themselves to a prison of frustration, despair and under achievement.  And it’s not a judge, jury, or court that sentences people to this prison.  What sends most people to the prison I describe is the conviction of their own thinking.

Just this week, I was talking with someone who was telling me how bad everything in their life was going.  During our conversation, they unknowingly gave me glimpses into their thinking through the language they chose to describe their situation.  It was negative and self-defeating and stripped them of any ability to change their current situation.  Their thinking had made them hopeless, and the more hopeless they became, the further their thinking deteriorated.

I left that conversation frustrated, because I knew that, although their situation was challenging, it wasn’t as insurmountable as their thinking made it out to be.  With some minor changes to their thinking, they could easily attain a more hopeful outlook, and even restore a degree of joy about life again.  Instead, they chose to extend the sentence they have placed on themselves by the thinking they continued to employ.

When the conversation was over, I felt like I had just left a prison after visiting an incarcerated inmate.  It was a heavy feeling, knowing that they could begin to free themselves from their self-imposed sentence by simply changing their thinking, but realizing that that wasn’t a choice they were going to make.

Is there any area in your life where you’ve sentenced yourself through the court of your own thinking?  What negative thoughts about people, situations, or circumstances are affecting you outlook in a negative way?  Give some thought to these questions this week.  When you discover an area where your thinking is imprisoning you, cause something to happen by determining alternative ways of thinking about the situation that improves your outlook and restores hope and confidence in the future.  (If you need a source to help you change your thinking for the better, I’d recommend reading the book of Proverbs.  It is filled with great wisdom and principles that will have a profound impact on your thinking.)

Don’t spend another day in a prison of your own negative thinking.  Decide today to improve your thinking and set yourself free.

Simply Communicate

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Why do we communicate with other people?  What’s the reason for having conversations, writing email, blogs, or even letters?  I think the whole idea of communication to share our thoughts, ideas, and experiences with others.  Ultimately, we all desire to have the people we communicate with understand our point enough to decide to agree with it, disagree, or add to it, thus moving the conversation forward.

One of the best ways I’ve found for being understood by others is to communicate in the most simple, straightforward manner possible.  Now I’m not saying communication needs to be low tech. However, the words, language, and structure of our communication should be as simple as possible to avoid becoming too complex or confusing.

When communicating with others, regardless of the medium, keep the following questions in mind:

  • Are the words I’m using easily understood by the listener or audience?
  • Am I using words or jargon that is confusing or meaningless to my listener?
  • Is there a more simple way to state what I’m saying?

I’m not suggesting that we all dumb down our speech to a 1st grade level (unless, of course, we’re talking to 1st graders).  What I am suggesting is that we be mindful of our audiences and communicate with them in ways that will foster greater understanding of the message and ideas we are attempting to share.

Pay attention to your communication this week and look for opportunities to simplify your message in order to bring greater clarity and understanding to your audience.  You’ll notice an increased ability to cause something to happen when your ideas are clearly and simply communicated.

A Great Place for Having Ideas

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One thing I really like about ideas is how they seem to come out of nowhere.  Think about it, one second your mind is empty, and the very next second, it produces this great new idea that was not in your possession the second before.  I’m amazed and marvel at the brain’s capacity to function like this.

I’m also amazed at the brain’s capacity to quickly forget a great idea.  I’ve often had a great thought and said to myself, “I’ll remember that later and … (insert whatever task I’d do with the idea).”  It makes sense at the time.  The idea is so clear and vivid at that moment, it seems extremely unlikely that I’ll forget what it is.  However, when “later” comes and I attempt to recall the idea, it’s gone.  How can I cause something to happen with a new idea I can’t even remember?  That’s so frustrating!

Earlier this week I was listening to Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership podcast with guest David Allen, productivity expert and author of Getting Things Done.  In the podcast he was talking about getting things out of your head an on paper or in a computer.  Somewhere, anywhere other than keeping them in your head, because if you’re trying to remember something you’re using up brain capacity that could otherwise be used for thinking, or focusing on the task you’re currently engaged in.

He made a comment that really resonated with me:  “Your head is for having ideas, not holding them.”

That makes so much sense to me, and has proven true when I’ve applied this principle in my own life.  When I want to recall a fact, event, book I want to buy or read, or any other such piece of information, I’m far more likely to remember it if I get it out of my head and into some other medium like a notepad, application, calendar, or piece of software.  Once I have it out of my head and somewhere else, where I can get to it again, my mind is freed up from thinking (or worrying) about it and can focus on other, more important things.

Hearing David Allen’s quote has caused me to be extra mindful about getting things out of my head in order to turn my mind loose on what it’s better suited for, such as thinking and generating ideas, rather than simply using it for lower level tasks that a sticky note or calendar can perform much better.

Pay attention this week to ideas, thoughts, or events you have that you need to get out of your head and captured somewhere else.  When ideas occur, capture them immediately and develop a system so you can go back and spend some time with them later.  I suspect you’ll be amazed at the treasure your mind regularly produces.

The Big Muscle

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As I was walking into work recently, I noticed our facilities guy Ralph rolling a large filing cabinet around on a small square wooden platform that had a caster wheel on each corner.  While on this platform, the large cabinet was obviously easy to move around.  I was intrigued with how Ralph got the cabinet onto the platform in the first place.  In my mind, I was thinking of how he might have done this, but it seemed like that it would have been challenging and involve some degree of brute force.

My curiosity finally won the day and I asked Ralph how he was able to get the big cabinet up on that tiny cart.  Ralph explained his method and how easy it was, using some leverage and surprisingly little effort.  After he finished his explanation, he looked at me smiling, pointed to his head and said, “You’ve got to use the big muscle first.”

I love that saying.  It’s so simple, yet so true.  Ralph was stating the obvious, though often forgotten principle, of first thinking about what you’re doing and creating a plan before just diving in and forcing something to happen.

I must admit that I don’t always remember to do this with tasks at hand either physical or mental.  So often, I attempt to cause something to happen by physical force or will, without first coming up with a logical approach to accomplishing the task.  Have you ever rushed into a task like that, without a first thinking about what might be the best approach?  I hope I’m not the only one.

As you face new tasks this week, take a few seconds to stop and see whether you would benefit from using the big muscle first.  If you’ve successfully completed the task a million times before, you can probably go ahead and jump right in.  However, if you are presented with a task you’ve never done before, or done very few times, it would most likely be beneficial to use the big muscle first and get a plan of attach in place instead of just diving in.

Give it a try.  See if your tasks don’t become easier to complete by using the big muscle first.  It’s just waiting to be put to work!