daily effort

We Don’t All Think Alike

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I’m always interested in learning how to be a better communicator.  The ability to express an idea to a group or just carry on a conversation with someone is a great life skill to possess, and something that can be practiced daily.  In my pursuit to improve my communication skills, the following realization has confronted me many times.  It’s the truth that not everybody thinks about things or sees the world, the same way I do.

How obvious, right? Everybody knows that!  Although that may be the case, what’s interesting is how often I can forget this truth when talking with someone who has a different perspective.  When I do forget, I hear my own voice inside my head saying things like:

  • “Why don’t they agree what I’m talking about?”
  • “Why is this person being difficult?”
  • “Do they even know what they’re talking about?”

What I’ve come to learn is that those are the wrong questions to be asking.  Those questions devalue the other person’s thoughts, perspective and experience and say more about my on naive assumption that this person should be thinking just like me.

If my goal is to improve my communication skills, the questions I should be asking myself instead are:

  • “What background, area of expertise, or perspective are they approaching this situation from?”
  • “What do they know that I don’t?”
  • “What am I missing?”

These questions assume that the other person or persons bring some knowledge, experience, or belief about the topic that is shaping their thinking.  The fun part of a conversation, for me, is to determine what that experience, knowledge or belief is.

By asking myself these questions, it puts me in a place to be open to new thoughts by realizing that, although our thoughts may be different, there is a high probability that I can learn something from this person, even if it’s just learning about their perspective.

Pay attention to the conversations you have in the weeks ahead and be on the lookout for your own internal thoughts that stem from a difference in thinking.  Instead of getting frustrated by these differences, cause something to happen in your own mind by considering their thinking try to determine why they think that way.  You might just gain a new perspective and learn something in the process.

 

They’re Automatic

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They’re unproductive, they come out of nowhere, and there seems to be an endless supply of them.  And, if you’re not careful, they’ll move in, get comfortable, and be your constant companion.

I’m talking about the negative thoughts that crop up in our minds.  They can be rather insidious, showing up with little notice and focusing our attention away from the good and productive things in life.  It’s scary to me how negative thoughts automatically appear.  All we have to do is let our guard down and they show up and begin to take root.  It underscores the importance of being constantly aware of the thoughts we’re thinking.

The best thing we can do to keep our thoughts in check is to be mindful of what we’re thinking throughout the day.  When we become aware of a negative thought we’re having, we need to cause something to happen and stop the thought and not give it another moment of our attention.  Some helpful ways I’ve found for flushing out a negative thought is to:

  • Replace it with a positive one
  • Say out loud, “I will not think like this!”
  • Pray

I’ve had plenty of experience using all 3 methods.

The longer we allow negative thoughts free reign in our minds, the longer we allow our minds to be poisoned by them.  What’s so dangerous about letting negative thoughts run free is that they will ultimately affect our thinking, which will affect our attitude, outlook and behavior.  Our minds are too valuable to let the decay of negative thought take hold.  Are minds should be guarded like the valuable treasures that they are.

Here’s a challenge for the next 7 days:  Pay attention to the thoughts you’re thinking and instantly squash any that are negative or self-defeating.  After the 7 days are up, continue for another 7 days.  Repeat this process so long as you have a pulse.

Take the challenge offered above and begin uprooting negative thoughts from your mind.  By removing negative thoughts, you’ll be setting the stage to for your mind to flourishing with productive thoughts; thoughts that can change your life for the better.

It Feels Good When You’re Done

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Some activities that are good for us are a real drag to actually do.  You know what I’m talking about.  Like working in the yard, exercising, making sales calls for your business, cleaning out the garage, studying for a test, and several other just-as-exciting activities.  Getting started on tasks like these can be extremely difficult.  Since we don’t really want to do them, it becomes very easy to procrastinate.  We may be able to get started, only to punch out well before these tasks are completed.  Regardless, we are eager to put off doing these tasks as long as possible, or avoid doing them altogether.

What’s interesting though, is that all of these tasks have something in common.  They make us feel good… when we’re done with them.

Take exercising, for example.  We all know it’s good for us and we should be doing it.  However, I’m sure we can all think of several other things we’d rather be doing than exercising, and come up with several reasons why we should skip exercising today and do it “another day”.

But here’s the thing, when we do decide to exercise and actually see it through to completion, don’t we usually feel better having completed our workout?  Don’t we feel good knowing that we’ve put in the effort to cause something to happen that is good for us?  We may even feel proud of our accomplishment and think, “That wasn’t so bad”.

Just this morning I needed to make some sales calls, but I didn’t feel like doing it.  It’s certainly not my favorite thing to do, so I had to work really hard to keep from talking myself out of making them.  I did, in fact make my calls, and when I was done, I felt GREAT!  It was nice to have that big task checked off my list so early.  In fact, those calls didn’t take nearly as long as I thought they would and there is possibility that they will bear fruit in the future.  I’m glad I made those calls.

So what activity, that you know is beneficial, are you struggling to complete because it isn’t fun to do?  Once you have this activity in mind, think about how good it would feel to actually complete it.  Then, use the anticipation of that feeling to get started on that activity.  Remind yourself how good it will feel when you’re finished.  My guess is that, once you’re finished, you’ll feel better than you thought you would.

On Quitting

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“Winners never quit and quitters never win!”  Really?  We’ve all been taught not to quit, and that quitting is failure, but I don’t think that necessarily true.

What if you are in a job, career, business endeavor, or educational pursuit that you realize isn’t going to take you where you want to go in life?  Should you continue on, knowing it’s not what you’re excited or passionate about, or should you quit and pursue something that’s a better fit for you?  I don’t think there is anything noble about sticking with something that you know isn’t working or that you know won’t lead to success.  If that’s the case, I say quit.  Immediately!

However, I don’t want to make a blanket statement that says we should always quit.  If for example, we’re pursuing an endeavor that we’re passionate about and that will take us toward the goals we’ve set for ourselves, we should stick with it.  Often when we start something new, the beginning stages are fun and exciting.  But soon the excitement wears off and it’s time to start doing the hard work to cause something to happen in order to be successful.  At this point we shouldn’t quit, but rather apply our efforts to get through the challenging work to get started.  This NOT the time to quit.

When considering whether or not to quit, we should ask ourselves some questions like:

  • Is this path I’m considering quitting going to take me where I want to go in life and help me achieve the goals I’ve laid out for myself?
  • Am I quitting just because it’s getting hard?
  • Could I be more effective/fulfilled/successful doing something else?
  • Will my increased or continued efforts cause me to be successful?

Give yourself honest answers to these questions, as they will help you determine your course of action.

Is there anything currently in your life that you need to consider quitting or stop giving thought to quitting?  If so, ask yourself the tough questions, make your decision, and take action.  You’ll either be freed up to pursue something more fulfilling, or you’ll put yourself in a position to refocus your efforts to move ahead.

Don’t delay.  Your future awaits!

Do the Things That Are Easy to Do

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We tend to think greatness and big achievements come from huge effort and doing things that are hard to do.  Actually, the effort and degree of difficulty it takes to achieve something significant is usually quite small… and easy.  More important than the degree of effort, is the consistency of the small effort that’s put forth doing the things that are easy to do.

Suppose we have a goal of losing 20lbs.  There is not Herculean effort you can make in one day that would enable you to lose those pounds.  Instead, what’s required is doing things that are easy to do, and then doing them on a consistent basis over a period of time, like eating smaller portions, drinking fewer sugary beverages, and getting your heart rate up every day.  These aren’t difficult things to do. In fact, they are rather easy!  What we need is to do them every day and we are practically guaranteed to see results, as long as we are consistent.

The results may not come not come right away.  In the beginning, it may not feel like your efforts are even making a difference.  However, if we consistently do these easy things, we will begin to see results.  Probably sooner than we think!

The problem is that these small things that are easy to do are also easy NOT to do.  It’s easy not to exercise.  It’s also easy not to have a glass of water, but to have a soda instead.  The truth is that you won’t really notice if you exercise or not… at least today.  However, after several months or years of drinking soda instead of water and failing to exercise, you will notice.

The point is that the things we need to do to cause something to happen that we desire in our lives, like lose weight, build wealth, start a business, or improve our relationships, are actually quite easy.  They just need to be done consistently over a period of time.

What easy things do you need to begin doing consistently over time in order to take your life in the direction you want to go?  What would you be able to achieve by doing so?

For more on this topic, I’d recommend reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.  The concept and principles are so simple and so effective.  We need only apply them to see significant results.

Unnecessary Roadblocks

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I’m surprised at how easily I can unknowingly put limits on myself that rob me of the opportunity to engage in new life experiences.  For example, when someone presents me with an opportunity to try something new, or to take a course of action that is different from my normal mode of operation, occasionally, before I finish thinking about it, I hear my own voice telling the other person why it won’t work or why it’s a bad idea.  Sometimes this occurs seemingly automatic.  This is not a tendency that I want to take root and become a habit in my life.

Why do we put limits on ourselves lives this?  Living out of fear, playing it safe, or staying in our comfort zone is no way to live a vibrant, fulfilling life we desire.

I’m becoming very mindful of this tendency in my life.  So now,  when I recognize it, I immediately acknowledge it and purposely examine my response to determine if it is coming out of fear or a desire to stay within my comfort zone, versus a legitimate concern.  If it’s a legitimate concern, I act accordingly.  However, if I find I’m acting out of fear or complacency, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m afraid of, or why I’m so reluctant to say yes.  I also remind myself that I’m someone who likes to shake up the routine, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

I also realize that this tendency has caused me to miss out on some experiences I probably would have enjoyed.  As I look back, I’ve always been glad when I’ve gone against this tendency of putting unnecessary limits on myself.  And each time I do, my resolve becomes stronger to continue to do so in the future.

Is this a tendency you occasionally face?  If so, be on the lookout for it, so when it occurs, you can cause something to happen by stopping yourself from placing unnecessary roadblocks on your path to the abundant life.

Be Mindful of What You’re Causing

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When pursuing a goal, we usually know the desired outcome we seek.  We know exactly what we want to cause to happen and we take actions to make it so.  This is good.  It helps us intentionally progress toward our goals.  However, we can also unintentionally cause something to happen that we might not want, if we are not mindful of how or words or actions can effect others.

Earlier this week I found that my actions had produced a negative experience for my wife.  It was something that I neither wanted nor intended to bring about.  It made me wonder how many times a day I am unintentionally causing something to happen because I am not paying attention.  This experience reminded me of my word of the year:  mindful.

Being mindful is being aware of our actions and how they affect us and others.  It is also avoiding the temptation to go on auto-pilot during the day, but instead to actively engage and give thought to what we say and do, realizing that our actions can have an impact on others, whether we’re mindful of them or not.

None of us intentionally want our actions to yield a bad result.  I think it’s safe to say that we don’t want to unintentionally yield bad results either.  Let’s commit to being mindful, not only in the pursuit of our goals, but also in our interactions with those around us.  I think we’ll be pleased with the positive results that we’ll see.

Don’t Break the Chain

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I heard a podcast recently about how comedian Jerry Seinfeld would set aside time everyday to write jokes for his routine.  He wouldn’t focus on writing the best or the funnies jokes.  His focus was simply to spend time EVERY day writing jokes.  When he first started, he noticed he had strung together a chain of 3 consecutive days where he had carved out time to write jokes.  In an effort to keep this trend going he set a rule for himself.  It was simply, don’t break the chain.

For Jerry, the “don’t break the chain” rule ensured that he would spend some time every day writing jokes, thus causing him to focus daily on becoming better at his craft.  Skipping a day was not an option.

I like that.  I’ve since adopted this rule for my own pursuits to help me focus on making daily progress toward my own goals.  Success rarely happens in one day.  Behind the large majority of successful people you’ll find a long chain of consecutive days of consistent effort.  Rarely are goals attained without such discipline.

Where in your life do you desire to see the results that come from consistent effort?  Determine the answer to this question and then commit to applying effort in that direction on a daily basis.  You don’t need to make huge leaps every day.  In fact, just focus on showing up every day and putting forth effort that moves you closer toward your goal.  Focus on not breaking the chain.

If you want to cause something to happen that is significant and meaningful, nothing will do that quicker than a long chain of consistent effort.

Don’t break the chain.

Success by a Thousand Small Victories

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We’ve all heard the term “Death by 1000 cuts”.  I recently heard that phrase and began thinking about it in terms of success and recalled how success doesn’t occur all in one day.  Instead, success is the result of several (maybe 1000) small victories achieved over time.  That thought re-energized me in my current pursuits.  That encourages me to daily focus on providing consistent effort.  Doing so will ensure success through 1000 tiny victories.

Be encouraged to provide daily effort toward your goals and for small success every day.  Significant results will come if we simply take care to make progress every day.  We will achieve success through a thousand small victories.

What’s Essential?

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Why is it so easy to get distracted from pursuing our goals?  Even more so, why does it often seem like our progress is moving at glacier-like speed, leaving us feeling like we’ll never get where we’re trying to go in life?  I think it’s possible that we’re concentrating our efforts on tasks that won’t yield the high level of results we’re looking for.

I was reading Pamela Slim’s book “Escape from Cubicle Nation” recently (yes, I’m planning an escape!) about a person who was gaining control over their finances.  When asked what the most important thing they did to gain control over their finances was, they responded with, “Simplify to identify what’s essential, and then eliminate as much as possible everything that isn’t essential.”

That makes perfect sense in the context of personal finance.  It also got me thinking about how this same principle could be applied to the pursuit of goals.  I find plenty of examples in my own life where my focus is on something that is non-essential to an objective I’m trying to achieve.  The result is usually wasted time and delayed results.

For example, I recently signed up and created a user profile on a social networking site for voice overs.  As part of creating my profile, there was an option to add a photo.  A photo wasn’t required, it was optional.  Stated another way, it was non-essential to creating my profile.  Would you believe I wasted close to an hour trying to decide on the right photo to use?  What’s wrong with me?!  I had plenty of other essential tasks to do, instead of wasting time on this non-essential task.  (In my own defense, I learned this concept AFTER the incident I just described)

It’s amazing how quickly an hour can be lost to a non-essential task.  Imagine doing several non-essential tasks over the course of a day, a week, or a month.  Carry that out a year, and it’s staggering to see the negative compounding effect of wasting time on things that aren’t essential.

If you really want to cause something to happen in your life, start identifying what’s essential and what’s not.  Strive to spend the large majority of your time on essential tasks, and seek to eliminate, or at least drastically reduce, the amount of time you spend on non-essential tasks.  You’ll notice a marked increase in the progress you make toward achieving your goals.