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The Garden of Your Mind

/ Scott / 2 Comments

Have you ever thought of your mind as a garden?  I would argue that each of us carry the most fertile plot of land we will ever own, right between our ears. Our minds are capable of producing a harvest greater than that of the most fertile soil or the most efficiently run farm on the planet.  So how do we leverage this valuable real estate we’ve been given?  Are there some “gardening tips” we can apply to the garden of our minds?  I believe there are.

Much like a conventional garden, which produces its crop based on the seeds the gardener sows, our minds also produce a harvest based on the seeds we plant in it.  However, seeds planted in the mind come in a different form than seeds that are planted in the ground.  Seeds for the mind include things like:

  • Books we read
  • People we hang around with
  • Podcasts, blogs, people, and websites we follow
  • Movies and TV programs we watch and the music we listen to
  • Groups we associate with

Anything we see, hear, or experience is a potential seed falling on the fertile soil of our mind.

So when these seeds are planted in our minds and take root, what do they produce?  They produce:

  • Mindsets and paradigms
  • Thoughts
  • Ideas
  • Attitudes
  • Beliefs and ideals

The bigger questions we should be asking ourselves are, “What kind of thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and attitudes is my mind producing?”  Are they positive, and taking me in the direction I want to go in life?  Do they encourage me and make me want to learn, grow, and stretch to become even better than I currently am?

What if they’re not good?  What if your thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and attitudes are negative, leaving you feeling defeated, discouraged, frustrated and fearful?  If this is the case, I’d suggest looking at the seeds you’re allowing to be sown, and take root, in your mind.

It is impossible for a gardener to plant seeds of corn and yield a crop of anything other than corn.  Since corn is what the gardener planted, a harvest of corn is what they’ll reap.  If the gardener wanted carrots instead, they should have sown carrot seeds rather than seed that produce corn.  The exact principle is at work within our minds.  If we fill our minds with seeds of positive input, we’ll get a harvest of positive thoughts and ideas in return.  On the contrary, fill your mind with seeds of negativity and defeat, your thoughts and ideas will be negative and defeating.

Just like a garden, our mind requires constant care to ensure that it’s getting proper seeding.  If seeds that we don’t want have taken root, they should be immediately uprooted and disposed of.  Isn’t it interesting (and frustrating) how easily weeds grow?  You don’t even have to plant them and they show up everywhere!  Think of negative thoughts as weeds in your mind.  If you’re being attentive to what you allow into your mind, weed producing seeds can creep in and take root.  Once a weed has been identified in your mind, remove it immediately and plant something positive in its place.  Left untended your mind, much like a garden, will become overrun with weeds.

Let’s be aware of the seeds we’re filling our minds with and the harvest they yield.  If we don’t like the harvest our mind is producing, we need only sow different seeds that will produce a harvest we desire.

What weeds do you need to remove from your mind?  What seeds do you need to begin sowing?  Cause something to happen today, by actively tending to the garden of your mind.

Get Beyond Irritated

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ARRRGH!!  Have you ever been so irritated that you just wanted to yell or scream?  (I hope I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this!)  There are several things that can drive us to become irritated.  It could be a recurring behavior we keep engaging in.  Maybe we’re irritated by a bureaucratic process or organization that seems incapable of providing reasonable value.  Irritations also come from those we regularly interact with or it could even come from within ourselves due to a gap between our expectations and current reality.

It feels safe to say that at some point we’ve all been irritated.  So what should we do when this occurs?  Do we just brush it off and move on?  What’s the proper response to irritations we encounter?  I like the thought I heard on a recent podcast that suggests we get “beyond irritated”.  So what does that mean?

When we find ourselves irritated we have a few choices.  We can remain irritated, or we can use the irritation as a catalyst to spark an action that leads to a positive change or outcome.  This is the essence of getting beyond irritated.

When irritation strikes I’ve found it rather easy just to remain parked in an irritated state.  This seems to be the default reaction for most folks, as it requires zero effort or thought.  We just naturally seem to go there.  However, as noted above, we have a better choice.

This is where we get beyond just being irritated.  No, we’re not taking about taking our irritation to the next level, where we allow ourselves to go completely berserk.  That would be counterproductive.  Getting beyond irritated is a different way of thinking.  It’s using an irritation to spark action to improve the situation, to cause something to happen.  Think of irritation as the event that strikes the match of positive activity.

Looking back, I realize I’ve used this concept, in a small way, in my own life recently.  I use to get to the end of my workday and leave in a hurry in order to catch the bus on time.  It always felt like I was rushing out and leaving things undone, only to be dealt with the next morning.  I would arrive the next day to a messy desk and loose ends from the day before, irritated that I had, yet again, set myself up to have a chaotic morning.  Not only was it irritating, it was not how I wanted to begin each day.  A few months ago I decided to start blocking out the last 10 minutes of my day to assess what I was working on and schedule my tasks for the following day.  That way, I’d arrive the next morning to an orderly desk with a plan for the day ahead.  So far this plan has been working extremely well.  Since its implementation, I have not been irritated by a chaotic workspace.  That irritation has been removed.

What things constantly irritate you?  Is it being out of shape, stuck in an unfulfilling job, poor relationships with those closest to you?  Be mindful when you become irritated.  When you do, very quickly ask yourself, “What action can I take to get beyond this irritation?” and then take that action.

Never waste an irritation by failing to follow it up with a positive action.  If not, you could be leaving a potentially life changing opportunity on the table.

A Sure Thing

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Everyone wants a “sure thing”.  You know what I mean; it’s that investment or strategy that is guaranteed to provide you with a significant return on your investment of time and money.  We’re not interested in wasting our resources on something that won’t yield a decent return.  So where should we invest our resources that has the greatest potential for the highest return?  Is there even a “sure thing” out there?  If so, what and where is it?  I’m glad you asked.

I’ll give you a hint.  In fact, I’ll do even better.  I’ll show you exactly where to find this guaranteed, sure thing investment.  Ready?  Here it is:  Go find the closest mirror and stand facing it.  You see that person looking back at you?  That’s your sure thing!

We tend to think of investments as deposits of dollars we make in a bank account, a 401k, or some other retirement or savings plan.  While it’s true that those are indeed important investments, have you ever thought of yourself as a worthy investment?  Have you ever thought of yourself as someplace worthy of investing your time and money, with the expectation of a significant return?  You should, because you ARE.

So what does investing in yourself look like?  Does that mean putting an extra sum of money in your wallet or pocket every month?  Not quite.  Investing in ourselves involves committing our time and resources into materials, activities, experiences, and relationships that cause positive growth in our lives.  This is growth that enables us to be better prepared to pursue our goals and dreams and to take advantages of opportunities that align with our goals and dreams when they arise.

Some examples of investing in yourself may include:

  • Purchasing (and reading!) books in an area of interest, vocation, or career.
  • Signing up for a relevant seminar or conference in an area where you are attempting to grow.
  • Enrolling in a class or pursuing a degree.
  • Purchasing training or coaching from a professional that will increase your skills and knowledge in order to help you go to the next level.
  • Finding and fostering a mentoring relationship with someone who has done, or is currently doing, what you’d like to do now or in the future.
  • Traveling to a new destination to learn about a different culture.
  • Creating a growth experience that stretches your understanding, knowledge, and/or comfort zone.

This is certainly not an extensive list, and only offers a small glimpse of the possibilities for investing in one’s self.  Anything you can do that requires effort, resources, or both, which increases your knowledge and understanding in your area of interest is a worthy investment in yourself.

Take advantage of the opportunity you have to invest in a sure thing.  See yourself as the worthy investment that you are and cause something to happen by being committed to regularly investing in yourself.  You will be delighted with the return on your investment!

Cause Something to Happen… For Others

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I’m currently co-leading Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU) course at church with my friend Steve.  This is the second FPU course we’ve taught together.  I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey and solid personal finance principles and am passionate about sharing them with others.

There are 2 things I really love about teaching this course.  The first is the openness and transparency that develops within each class.  I’m always amazed at how willing people are to open up and share what’s really going on in their lives when given a safe environment with caring, supportive people.  The second, is listening to people tell me about the progress they have made, or are making, with their finances and in their marriages as a result of the courses Steve and I have taught.  Every time I hear one of these stories I’m so honored that I’ve had the opportunity to play a small role in adding value to their lives.

Throughout this blog, I’ve talked about causing something to happen that will move us toward our goals and the “ideal life” we desire for ourselves.  I truly believe we have the power to direct and change our lives if we continuously take the initiative to cause something to happen.

As I was thinking about the people in the current FPU class that Steve and I are teaching, and the successes they’ve been sharing with us, I thought about my favorite quote, “Cause something to happen”.  I was thinking how that quote is not only relevant for our own lives, but it’s also relevant for the lives of the people around us.  As we’re causing something to happen for ourselves, we should be mindful of opportunities to do so for others as well.

Steve was the one that caused the latest FPU class to happen at our church.  Through his action, he gave people in church the opportunity to sign up for the course and learn personal finance principles that can change their life.  Steve’s initiative created opportunity for others.  Whether he knew it or not, Steve caused something to happen that is benefiting everyone in the class.  Way to go, Steve!

I want to follow Steve’s example by causing something to happen for others.  How much more satisfying would life be, knowing that as we’ve not only caused something to happen in our own lives, but we’ve also sparked opportunity for others to do the same?

Where can you cause something to happen in someone else’s life, today?

Get Out of the Zone

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We all have one.  For some, it’s pretty big.  For others it can be rather small.  Regardless of its size, the fact is everyone has a comfort zone.  However, what each person’s comfort zone represents to them, and how they view their comfort zone can be quite different.  I believe how we view our comfort zone has a lot to do with how we view life’s opportunities and challenges.

What I especially like about our comfort zones is that they are flexible and can be stretched and made to grow, becoming ever-larger as we gain new skills and experience and seek new opportunities.  My comfort zone also makes me aware of boundaries, either real or perceived, that are holding me back.  Its boarder represents opportunities to try new things, travel to new destinations, to meet new people, to learn and to grow.  Just beyond its boarder represents endless possibilities for a more enriched and fulfilling life.

The best part is that when we continually venture beyond its borders, our comfort zone expands, providing us with additional opportunities just beyond its newly expanded border.  What a great way to live!  I’m excited by the thought of having a comfort zone that grows larger with each year.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.  Where some see a comfort zone a something to be stretched and grown, others see it as the walls of a mighty fortress, never to be breached or crossed.  To this mindset, the comfort zone represents the entirety of whom they are and who they will remain.  Anything beyond its boundaries is for other people, is impossible to attain, or is too far out of reach.  Anything outside of their comfort zone is of no interest.

But there’s one thing even worse than a comfort zone that never expands.  That is a comfort zone that has begun to contract.  This can occur when, for whatever reason, a person gives up trying to stretch and actively pulls back from activities that cause growth and development.  In this scenario, the comfort zone becomes the walls of a prison, within which our growth and potential serve a life sentence.

This is not how our comforts zones should be.  As we continually seek to cause something to happen that betters our life and the lives of others, we can be assured that our comfort zones will be stretched as part of the process.

John Maxwell gave a similar illustration with a rubber band in one of his Maximum Impact lessons.  His question was, “When is a rubber band the most useful?”  The answer:  when it is being stretched.  How true of our comfort zones as well!

Commit to regularly stretching your comfort zone just beyond its borders.  Be mindful of daily opportunities to do so and take advantage of them.  Perhaps begin journaling each opportunity you take to expand your comfort zone.  Do this and, in the future, look back and see how much you and your comfort zone have grown as a result.

We Get to Choose

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Some things are so small that we don’t even recognize them in our daily lives.  Take the untold number of cells that make up our physical being.  So tiny, yet they have a huge impact on our very existence.  The time it takes to blink our eyes is also tiny, yet each blink is necessary for our eyes to function properly.

Another thing that is tiny is the amount of time between a stimulus and a response.  Think about how many times each day we are presented with a stimulus that we then respond to.  In most cases, the time between the stimulus and our response is extremely small.  Sometimes it feels instantaneous, but no matter how small this time is, it is always present.  For example, you hit your thumb with a hammer (stimulus) and then scream out in pain (response).  The response happens almost instantly, however, there is still a measure of time between these 2 events.

Here’s the part that I think is empowering:  in that sliver of time between stimulus and response we get to choose how we respond.  We can’t always control the stimulus, but we can control our response.

Take the scenario of being cut off in traffic.  When this occurs, we have a choice of how to respond.  We can lay on the horn, blurt out some expletive, or offer any number of obscene hand gestures.  Sometimes these responses feel automatic, but we always have a choice.  Instead, we could choose not to become angry and lash out, or we could also choose not to get worked up by it and overlook it all together.  We can choose a better response.

This is one of a number of scenarios we face daily where we can choose to respond in a positive manner instead of defaulting to a negative response.  We can choose to be offended by an inconsiderate comment, or we can choose to overlook it.  We can choose to respond harshly to a spouse or loved one, or we can choose to extend grace, compassion, and understanding.

Be mindful of these moments where we can decide how to respond to a stimulus.  Use them as opportunities to cause something to happen that is positive, instead of automatically responding negatively and see if it doesn’t begin to have a positive effect on your outlook and attitude.

Quiet Courage

/ Scott / 2 Comments

I’m currently reading a great book titled, “Work the System” by Sam Carpenter.  Today I read a section where he talks about quiet courage.  Sam defines quiet courage as, “…unadorned action and it is the opposite of procrastination.  Quiet courage resides deep inside and causes one to buck up and do what needs to be done whether one wants to or not.”

As I read that today it made me think that as we’re out causing something to happen, there are often days where we may not feel like doing what needs to be done.  For example, in the pursuit of good health, there may be days where we just don’t feel like going to the gym.  While striving for a strong healthy marriage, we may not feel like engaging in tough conversations that we need to have.  The list is endless, but the truth is that during the pursuit of whatever we are striving for, we will face times when we just don’t want to do what we know we need to.

I’m curious as to how we can develop quiet courage in our own lives.  What can we do to develop the persistence to push through feelings of “not wanting to”, instead of seeing them as insurmountable obstacles that thwart all efforts at forward progress?  I think one of the best things we can do to build quiet courage in our own lives is to recognize when the feelings of procrastination and lack of motivation are beginning to take hold.  At this point we have a crucial decision.  We can give in to the “I don’t want to” feelings or we can do what needs to be done, in spite of how we feel.

Regardless of the choice we make, we reinforce or build a habit.  If we procrastinate every time these feelings arise, we reinforce the response of procrastination.  On the contrary, if we do what we need to, even when we don’t feel like it, we begin building the muscle of quiet courage.  The more we choose to take positive action regardless of feelings, the stronger this muscle grows.

Commit today to being mindful of the “I-don’t-feel-like-it” feelings when they crop up in life.  When they arise, attack them with the positive, forward-moving action.  Responding in this fashion long term will rapidly build a quiet courage within you.  And when that happens, the “I-don’t-feel-like-it” feelings you encounter will be short lived.

Feelings Follow Action

/ Scott / 1 Comment

Don’t you love the feeling you get when a major goal or task has been accomplished?  You’ve repeatedly caused something to happen, and finished something you’ve set out to do.  There’s a certain degree of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes from bringing a task to closure.

What’s probably more familiar, at least for me, is knowing what action I need to take, but just not feeling like it.  Have you been there too?  I find it frustrating because of the internal conflict it creates.  I know I should do “specific tasks, but I don’t feel like it, so I don’t.  The next day, I still don’t feel like taking action because I didn’t do anything the day prior.  If I’m not mindful, this cycle can go on for days, weeks, or even years!  So how do we combat this lack of feeling, this lack of motivation, or lack of a “want to”?  The best solution I have found… is to take action anyway, regardless of how you feel.

When we wait for feelings to arrive before taking action, we put ourselves at a huge disadvantage, because the majority of the time we don’t feel like doing the hard work it takes to be successful.  As a result, we wind up waiting to be motivated by feelings that never show up.

I’ve often heard feelings and actions compared with an engine and a caboose on a train.  The feelings are represented by the caboose and the actions by the engine.  So what does this mean for those of us who are trying to take actions when we don’t feel like it?  Well, it means that we start doing the actions, regardless of how we feel.  Once the actions are started, the feelings will follow.  Feelings follow actions.

One of my favorite authors is John Maxwell.  He’s written several dozen books on leadership, personal development, and growth.  He’s stated that aspiring authors often tell him that they’d like to write a book, to which he always replies, “What have you written so far?”  By far the answer he says he gets most often is, “Well, nothing yet.”  Then they ask him how he got to be a successful writer, to which he replies, “I started writing.”

I love his reply, because it’s so simple and straightforward.  It doesn’t say you have to learn all you can about writing first or that you have to spend years studying.  He doesn’t even say that you need to feel like writing first.  It simply states that you must begin, regardless of feelings.  You just have to take action.

I’m amazed how many authors have confided in pod casts that they don’t necessarily enjoy writing, but they like the outcome (finished books) so they commit disciplined effort to the act of writing.  This thought make me think how easy it can be to get ahead for people who are willing to take the actions necessary to be successful, regardless of how the feel.  This is true for writing as it is for any other endeavor we eagerly want to pursue.

What’s that area in your life where you know you need to take action, but often don’t feel like it?  Challenge yourself this week by committing to take action in this area, regardless of how you feel.  Then note if your feelings haven’t changed as a result.