Personal Growth

What Made It Great

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Before I left on a fishing trip to Alaska last week, my wife asked me an interesting question: “What would make this a great trip?”  One could argue that the number and size of the fish we caught would make the trip great.  Perhaps coupling the catch with good weather would also be a good metric for the greatness of a trip.  My response, however had nothing to do with the fish or weather. 

Numbers and size of fish in Alaska are kind of a given.  That’s why people go there to fish.  There’s not much you can do to control the weather, so it seems strange to make that a barometer for greatness.  My answer was, to deepen relationships and create fun memories with the friends I went with, and to connect with the other people that would be there as well.

I’m happy to report that both things happened.  It was fun building memories with my friends over an activity we all like to do.  In addition, the other visitors at the lodge were enjoyable people and fun to connect with over coffee/tea before breakfast, dinner, and while on the rivers fishing.  It’s amazing to me how people who are total strangers one week, can have connection and several good memories the following week!

I’m always encouraged by how much similarity and connection we have with others when we spend time getting to know them.  It’s fun getting to know people and to have others get to know you as well.

When my wife picked me up at the airport, she asked, “How was your trip?”  To which I replied, “It was a GREAT trip!” 

Reaching Back

/ Scott / Leave a comment

This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with.  As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about.  I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.

It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience.  Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.

With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have. 

They Can Both Be True

/ Scott / Leave a comment

We like black and white absolutes.  This is good and that is bad.  This person is nice, that person is mean. 

We like these absolutes because their easy to understand.  However, as you’ve probably notice, no everything is so black and what.  In fact, sometimes opposing realities can exist at the same time.

I have a friend whose dad passed away on Christmas day several years ago.  In his case, is Christmas day a good day or a bad day?  Is it a day to look forward to or a day to anticipate with grief.  Is it filled with joy or sadness.

The answer is, “Yes”.

Sometimes the comfort and certainty of black and white is replaced with diametrically opposite realities.  In my friend’s case, Christmas can be a day of great joy, while at the same time being a day of sadness and loss.     

I’ve found in my own life that it’s helpful to acknowledge scenarios when two or more opposite realities are true at the same time.  Beyond just acknowledging, it’s also helpful to learn to hold those 2 realities at the same time.  One doesn’t have to be true while the other is false.  They can both be true at the same time. 

They’re Not Worthless

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I was having a conversation this week regarding someone’s professional performance.  Truthfully, their performance appears to be below standards with regard to follow through and customer service.  The person I was having this conversation with said of the professional, “They’re worthless!”  I strongly disagreed, and stated why.

 As a Jesus-follower, I believe we are all made in the image of God, as scripture teaches.  That alone imbues each of us with a tremendous sense of worth.  While someone’s performance, in a certain area or in a particular instance, may be sub-par, that does NOT mean that the person themselves is worthless.

I’m trying to do a better job in my life of not just seeing people as worthwhile due to a set of attributes or character traits.  Rather, I’m working to see the value of people simply because they are fellow human beings.

Time Well Spent

/ Scott / Leave a comment

When my wife and I go away for a weekend, we usually like to get home around mid-afternoon on Sunday.  This gives us plenty of time to unpack, do chores, and ease into the upcoming workweek.  Last Sunday, we didn’t get home from our weekend away until 9:30 PM, and we’re glad we did.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we scheduled some time during our trip last weekend to see a friend on Sunday.  What was originally a couple hours together for lunch evolved into a whole day!  We all had a great day together that we will remember for many years.

If my wife and I were unwilling to deviate from our normal practice of getting home mid-afternoon, we would have missed an opportunity to spend a memorable day connecting with our friend.   We chose to spend our Sunday afternoon hours connecting, and it was time well spent.

Making Time

/ Scott / Leave a comment

My wife and I are going Ashland Oregon soon, to see some plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  We’ve been there before, and enjoy seeing the excellent plays the festival has.  This year, we’re making time for something different.

A friend of ours recently moved to the area, so we contacted them to see if they’d be interested in getting together while we’re there.  They’re interested, so we’ll be getting together with them.  We’re all looking forward to seeing each other.

For me, it’s easy to think, “We’re too busy” or “They’re probably too busy” and therefore not make time to spend with others.  However, my wife and I have both been working at making time for opportunities to connect with others.  Yes, it takes more work, but it has always proven to be worth it.  It reminds me that connection with others doesn’t just happen.  We need to make time for it.

Commit In Advance

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Cascade Head is an Oregon Coast hike I like to do once a month.  While beautiful, the hike has some sections that are steep which do a good job of getting your heart rate up.  It’s a great hike for ensuring that I stay in “hiking shape” throughout the year.

There is a section of this hike about half way up that has great views, as well as a nice place to sit in the grass and take in the scene.  After this point, the hike gets steep and proceeds to the summit, where the views are even better!  If it’s a good workout you’re after, you want to proceed to the summit.

Whenever I do this hike for the purpose of a workout, I commit that, absent any significant weather threat, I’m going all the way to the summit.  The reason I decide on the summit in advance is because I don’t want to wait until the half-way point to “see what I feel like”. 

Without first committing to the summit, it would be too easy to get to the halfway point and decide I don’t feel like proceeding further.  Lacking advance commitment, I could easily decide half way up, that things are “good enough”:  the view, the workout, my effort.  Unless I commit beforehand, seeing the remaining steep section could easily cause me “not to feel like” proceeding.

I think it’s like that with a lot in life.  Unless we make commitments in advance, we can easily be held back from long term satisfaction and achievement, based simply on how we feel in the moment.   Consistently “not feeling like it” can have a negative impact to our health, finances, relationships, career, faith, and outlook on life.

Is there any area in your life that you need to commit in advance to?  If so, make the commitment(s) you need to, and follow through.

Don’t hold yourself back!

What People Are Carrying

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Earlier this week, my wife and I went to a presentation at our library on how the speaker was dealing with some grief and loss in his life through nature and being outside.  It was interesting to hear his story and how he was moving forward through his grief.  It also reminded me that I have no idea what the people I cross paths with on a daily basis are carrying.

Think about all the people you intersect with during a day: 

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Clients
  • Cashiers
  • Service providers
  • People in the car next to you
  • The person behind you in line at the grocery store
  • Neighbors

Each one of those people is likely carrying a burden.  Whether it’s something small or large doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that they are carrying something that we likely know nothing about.

The presentation at the library not only reminded me of this reality, it also reminded that there is more going on in people’s lives than I am usually aware of, and that I would do well to keep this in mind, and treat others with grace and compassion. 

Exploring

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I love fly fishing in Northern Idaho, because there are so many remote, wooded streams full of good-sized trout.  When I’m fishing back home in Oregon, I’ve often wondered if there are any similar streams here in my home state that are similar.  I’ll find out this weekend.

Earlier in the week, I got to thinking about an Oregon river nearby, and pondered whether it’s upper stretches might be similar to what I’ve experienced in our neighbor state.  So, I got out some old school paper maps, along with Google Maps and did some virtual exploring.  I like what I’ve seen so far!

This weekend, I’ll be heading out to fish this water and do some exploring.  Hopefully, I’ll come back with a new beloved fly-fishing stream!  Regardless of the outcome, I’m extremely excited to get out and explore.

Is there something you’re interest in exploring?  Whether it’s a location in nature, a friendship, or a skill you’d like to learn, there are so many opportunities for us to explore.  Let’s remain curious about the world and people around us, for curiosity is the birthplace of exploration. 

Adventure awaits!  Hope to see you out there.

Being Aware

/ Scott / Leave a comment

This is the first year that the place I work is observing Juneteenth.  As I’ve learned more about what this holiday stands for, I’m reminded of the struggles and challenges that people have faced in the past.  I’m also reminded that most people around me are currently facing their own struggles and challenges today.

Think of all the people you cross paths with in a day.  Now consider the challenges they could be facing, that we aren’t even aware of.  A small list of possibilities might include:

  • Significant health issues
  • Trouble raising children
  • Financial concerns
  • Depression
  • Strained relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Physical limitations
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Loss of hope
  • Loss of control
  • Social injustice
  • Isolation
  • Greif of what is
  • Greif of what never will be
  • Broken dreams
  • Broken promises
  • Perceived lack of purpose
  • Perceived lack of worth
  • Perception that they would not be missed if they were not here

It’s quite possible that someone reading this post is facing one or more of the challenges above.  Perhaps even you.  If so, wouldn’t if be affirming to have someone acknowledge the challenge you’re facing, and to do so without judgement, condemnation, or pithy platitudes? 

Here’s the good news:  we can be that for other people.  We can acknowledge when others are struggling.  We can offer a kind word, or perhaps no words at all, and just an arm around your shoulder.  There may be times where action is required from us to assist someone with a challenge, but I think the best place to start is with understanding, compassion, and grace toward our fellow humans.

Isn’t that what we’d want from others?