Occasionally, we face challenges that seem so overwhelming that we can’t see a clear path to the end. In light of a clear path, all we really need to do is take the next step in front of us.
leadership
Looking Into The Future
“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” ~Unknown
Have you ever wished that you could see into the future? If so, take a look at your daily habits. They are a strong indicator of what your future
will look like.
Do you habitually complain, look for the negative, and see
the worst in people, or do you rejoice, look for the positive and see the best
in people? One set of behaviors will likely
lead to a future of frustration, disappointment, and anger, while the other set
indicates a future of contentment, peace, and joy.
Give some thought to your daily habits and ponder about the
kind of future they’re leading you toward.
If you want to change your future, change what you do every day.
Being Curious
I heard someone talking about mindfulness recently, in a way that I hadn’t heard it discussed before. They mentioned that when you’re mindful, you’re able to be curious about how you’re feeling in a situation before you just automatically respond to it.
For example, if a car cuts you off, is your first inclination to lay on the horn, assume the worst about the other driver, or worse? (Yeah, me too!) If, however, we’re being “mindfully curious” we might instead ask something like:
- “Why am I so upset by someone else’s driving? “
- “I wonder what caused them to do that?”
- “Why do I feel the need to vent my frustration at this person?”
- “Is this how I’d want another driver to treat me if I accidently cut them off in traffic?”
I’ll speak for myself here, but it often seems like I have an autopilot of negative responses that assume the worst in people. These responses manifest themselves in my thoughts, words, and behavior with hardly any effort on my part. They feel almost automatic.
Being a person, whose knee-jerk reaction is to respond negatively, is not who I want to be. As a result, I’m going to work on being more curious of how I feel when I want to react negatively, so that I can gain some perspective and make a better decision. A decision that better aligns with the person I want to be.
Now We Have A Deadline
For years, my wife and I have been saying that we need to get a will done. It’s one of those things that’s extremely important, not super urgent (that we know of!), and is easy to put off. We finally connected with a professional to help us. One thing I appreciate, is that we have a day on the calendar when we will sign off on the completed document. Now we have a deadline.
While we still have some work to do, having a “complete-by-date” on the calendar is just the motivation (and accountability) we need to ensure that we’ll see this task to completion!
If you’re struggling to complete a task that you know needs to be done, consider creating a real deadline. What would be even better, would be to link that deadline to someone who will hold you accountable.
Sometimes a date on the calendar is all the motivation you need.
Find Out For Sure
One thing my wife and I like to do is visit farm/fruit stands and mills that grind their own grains. On Friday we went to visit a mill that we had found online in a nearby town. When we showed up the place looked like a warehouse and not some place that would sell grains and flour to the public. It would have been easy to drive off, thinking they didn’t sell to walk up customers, had my wife not said, “Let’s go in and find out.” I’m glad she suggested we find out for sure!
When we went in and asked if they sold to the public, we were introduced to Polly, who generously told us about the different kinds of grains, flour, and even pasta that they had, and how best to use them! She was extremely helpful and encouraged us to reach out if we had any questions about any of their product.
I tend to read situations and make judgements rather quickly. (Ex. “This looks like a warehouse. I’m sure they don’t sell to the public.”) My wife, however, is more likely to challenge assumptions, situations, and judgements and take the attitude of, “Let’s find out for sure.”
I’m grateful for this perspective. Without it, we would have missed a fun experience, not to mention interacting with a nice person!
Be on the lookout for quick judgments or assumptions you making that make be incorrect, and then go find out for sure.
When It’s Someone You Know
One of the values at my church is personal connection with others. The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.” I’ve found that to be true.
Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense. However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience. When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change. I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.
I have never been depressed, or homeless. I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety. I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll. But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me. My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience.
What a great way to broaden our worldview! By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.
Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.
Reaching Back
This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with. As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about. I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.
It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience. Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.
With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have.
They Can Both Be True
We like black and white absolutes. This is good and that is bad. This person is nice, that person is mean.
We like these absolutes because their easy to understand. However, as you’ve probably notice, no everything is so black and what. In fact, sometimes opposing realities can exist at the same time.
I have a friend whose dad passed away on Christmas day several years ago. In his case, is Christmas day a good day or a bad day? Is it a day to look forward to or a day to anticipate with grief. Is it filled with joy or sadness.
The answer is, “Yes”.
Sometimes the comfort and certainty of black and white is replaced with diametrically opposite realities. In my friend’s case, Christmas can be a day of great joy, while at the same time being a day of sadness and loss.
I’ve found in my own life that it’s helpful to acknowledge scenarios when two or more opposite realities are true at the same time. Beyond just acknowledging, it’s also helpful to learn to hold those 2 realities at the same time. One doesn’t have to be true while the other is false. They can both be true at the same time.
Commit In Advance
Cascade Head is an Oregon Coast hike I like to do once a month. While beautiful, the hike has some sections that are steep which do a good job of getting your heart rate up. It’s a great hike for ensuring that I stay in “hiking shape” throughout the year.
There is a section of this hike about half way up that has great views, as well as a nice place to sit in the grass and take in the scene. After this point, the hike gets steep and proceeds to the summit, where the views are even better! If it’s a good workout you’re after, you want to proceed to the summit.
Whenever I do this hike for the purpose of a workout, I commit that, absent any significant weather threat, I’m going all the way to the summit. The reason I decide on the summit in advance is because I don’t want to wait until the half-way point to “see what I feel like”.
Without first committing to the summit, it would be too easy to get to the halfway point and decide I don’t feel like proceeding further. Lacking advance commitment, I could easily decide half way up, that things are “good enough”: the view, the workout, my effort. Unless I commit beforehand, seeing the remaining steep section could easily cause me “not to feel like” proceeding.
I think it’s like that with a lot in life. Unless we make commitments in advance, we can easily be held back from long term satisfaction and achievement, based simply on how we feel in the moment. Consistently “not feeling like it” can have a negative impact to our health, finances, relationships, career, faith, and outlook on life.
Is there any area in your life that you need to commit in advance to? If so, make the commitment(s) you need to, and follow through.
Don’t hold yourself back!
Being Aware
This is the first year that the place I work is observing Juneteenth. As I’ve learned more about what this holiday stands for, I’m reminded of the struggles and challenges that people have faced in the past. I’m also reminded that most people around me are currently facing their own struggles and challenges today.
Think of all the people you cross paths with in a day. Now consider the challenges they could be facing, that we aren’t even aware of. A small list of possibilities might include:
- Significant health issues
- Trouble raising children
- Financial concerns
- Depression
- Strained relationships
- Mental health issues
- Physical limitations
- Loss of a loved one
- Loss of hope
- Loss of control
- Social injustice
- Isolation
- Greif of what is
- Greif of what never will be
- Broken dreams
- Broken promises
- Perceived lack of purpose
- Perceived lack of worth
- Perception that they would not be missed if they were not here
It’s quite possible that someone reading this post is facing one or more of the challenges above. Perhaps even you. If so, wouldn’t if be affirming to have someone acknowledge the challenge you’re facing, and to do so without judgement, condemnation, or pithy platitudes?
Here’s the good news: we can be that for other people. We can acknowledge when others are struggling. We can offer a kind word, or perhaps no words at all, and just an arm around your shoulder. There may be times where action is required from us to assist someone with a challenge, but I think the best place to start is with understanding, compassion, and grace toward our fellow humans.
Isn’t that what we’d want from others?
Cause Something to Happen 