“How you do anything is how you do everything.” ~Unknown
This saying causes me to pause and think about how I do things. Specifically, how do I handle the small day to day things in my life. Do I give my best effort or am I half-hearted in my efforts?
Now I’m not saying that we have to give 100% focused, top of our game effort on every little thing we do. That would be not only exhausting, but also unnecessary! The bigger question here, is what is our dominant mindset when we do things? Do we regularly mail it in, or are we in the regular habit of giving our best effort? Do we offer the minimum effort to get by, or do we regularly give a little beyond what’s needed?
It’s a good question to ask, and one we can pretty easily answer when we look at the results we’re getting in life.
“What’s it like on the other side of me?” ~ Pastor Amy
During the sermon at church last week, one of our pastors referenced this question that she often asks herself in relation to what it’s like for others to interact with her. I though it was a great question I should start asking myself!
We all know what it’s like to be us. We’re aware of our opinions, our values, and what we think. However, are we aware of how those opinions come across when we’re talking to others? Are we aware of possible no verbal signals, attitudes, tones of voice, judgement, or perceptions we may not mean to send, that others experience when communicating with us?
Pastor Amy’s question causes me to think about how I treat others (intentionally or unintentionally) when communicating with them. It reminds me that communication is so much more than just words.
I was talking with a friend at the gym this week about working from home. While there are a number of positives, the biggest negative for me is not having the face-to-face contact with people. Sure, there are a lot of alternatives, like instant messaging and video calls, but they don’t quite measure up to the experience of an in-person interaction.
My friend agreed, but also mentioned how for her grand kids, video conversations are what they’re use to, and are more common for them than face-to-face conversations. She also mentioned her grandkids are growing up with Face Time and other video chat tools, and see these types of interactions as normal as we would see an in-person visit from our grand parents back in the day.
That was an interesting reminder to me about how differently we all look at the world through the lens of our own experience. What may seem mainstream to me, could be unusual to others, and vice versa. And that’s ok! We all have different life experiences that shape our lenses.
I think it’s important to be mindful f this in our interactions with others. It’s easy to assume everybody sees the world through the same lens as I do, but that’s simply not true. When I take time to listen to others, I gain a better understanding of the lens they view the world through. If I listen close enough, I can even understand how their lens was formed.
I’m thankful we aren’t all the same. While that might make some things easier, it would certainly be less interesting to live in a world where everyone looked through the same lens as me.
I’ve been working on learning to play the electric bass part of the song Far Cry from the band Rush recently. It’s a quick tempo song with some cool rhythmic elements that I think sound really cool. One thing that became painfully obvious when I started learning to play the song was that I would have to slow the tempo way down, if I have any hopes of mastering it.
When I stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. I can’t look at a challenging song and play it perfectly at the same tempo on my first attempt. There are note progressions, fingering, and rhythms that all need to be discerned and practiced at a slower pace in order to gain an understanding of how they all fit together within the song. Once those elements are understood individually, I can then integrate them together as I begin to play parts of the song. Albeit still at a slower tempo.
This slowness feels clunky and awkward. What I really want to do is pick up the bass and play the tune like a pro on the first or second attempt. However, that’s not the way mastery of a topic works. Mastery requires that we start out slow as we begin the work of obtaining knowledge and understanding. From there we can begin to apply this knowledge and steadily increase our pace.
Here is where I think most people give up pursing a goal. They see the talent in a musician, athlete, or some other person that has slowed down and put in the time to achieve mastery and think that this person must have been “born with it” or is “gifted”. In fact, what they are seeing is this person’s reward for having slowed down and spent the time in that slow and clunky stage.
What’s lost on many of us is that we too can be considered “talented” or “gifted” if we’re willing to put in the required time in the slow and clunky stage.
We just finished a 6 week house renovation project this week that included some painting, carpeting, and hardwood floors. Our house is 23 years old, so it was time to spruce everything up and give it a fresh new look. I think it’s important to keep my house in a good working order and condition, not only because it’s such a big investment, but because it’s more enjoyable for me to live in when it’s in this state.
I also think it’s important to maintain the other big things in our lives that are important to us like our:
- Closest Relationships
- Spiritual well being
- Intellect and thinking
Maintenance, whether it be for a friendship, a home, or our health, involves a commitment of our time and resources, because things that are neglected usually aren’t maintained well.
Spend some time thinking about the things that are important to you and determine whether they could use a little maintenance from you. If so, take action to get them the attention they need. You’ll enjoy what you have even more when it’s properly maintained.
“Humility opens the door to transformation” ~ Pastor Shawn
I really like this comment that our pastor made in church a few weeks ago. It reminds me that if we want to change for the better, we need to be open to the reality that we don’t know everything.
Change comes when we’re able to put pride aside and become teachable and open to the fact that we don’t have all the answers, and there’s more we can learn. If we are unable to do this, how can we change? If we can’t humble ourselves enough to be receptive to the teaching of others, then by definition we are closed to learning and improving. How then can we be transformed? How then can we become better if we lack the humility to be taught by others?
If we seek to improve ourselves, we must learn humility. Humility is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign that we are secure in ourselves and eager to invite others to help us get better.
I like sending hand written notes to people, because no one does that anymore. I also enjoy when recipients tell me how much they enjoyed receiving the note and the kind words. It’s a small way to make a positive impact on someone’s day.
I use to despise writing notes because I never thought I had enough to say to fill up a whole card. What I’ve discovered is you don’t have to write a lot to have an impact. Two or three heart-felt sentences is enough to brighten someone’s day. And if that doesn’t seem like it will fill the card, then write a little bigger than normal! J
In a time when flashy new high tech is ubiquitous, an old-school hand written note is the perfect way to uniquely let someone know you’re thinking about them, and that you care.
In a recent team meeting at work, we were discussing an initiative our organization is undertaking to create an even stronger culture of inclusion, diversity, equity, and learning. During the discussion someone asked the question, “What does action look like?”
I thought this was a good question because without specific actions to take to get where we want to go, as an organization or as individuals, all we really have are ideals or lofty aspirations. It’s the intentional actions we take that will move us toward our aspirations becoming our reality. Without action our aspirations remain just that… aspirations.
I was pleased to learn that our organization is currently in the process of defining what those specific actions look like. With regard to our own personal goals and aspirations, we should all be asking ourselves what action looks like.
While it’s true that occasionally in life things happen to us (both good and not so good) that we did not choose, I think most of what happens to us is the result of the choices we make.
Think about all the things we get to choose on a regular basis, such as:
- How we spend our time
- How we spend our money
- The daily level of activity we engage in
- The content we consume
- The type of foods we consume
- The people we associate with
- Whether or not we think critically
- The careers, causes, values, and beliefs we hold and support
- The way we treat those around us
That’s a small portion of a VERY large list!
Now think about this: the small choices we’ve made over the days/weeks/months/years/decades of our life have compounded to form us into who and what we are today.
It’s hard to consider that thought without also pondering the following: Are you happy with the compounding result of your choices? If you are, then great! Stay on track.
If you don’t like the compounding result your experiencing, I have good news. It’s not too late to change course. And it all starts with the choices you make from this point forward.
“If you need help, ask.” Whether at school, at home, or on the job, we’ve all been told this as some point. If we need help, assistance is just a request away. Yet why is it that we seem to wait so long for before we actually avail ourselves of the assistance others are willing to offer?
I get it, we like to be self-sufficient and figure things out for ourselves, or perhaps we don’t want to be a burden to others. I recognize myself in both of those statements. And while I agree that we need to make an effort at whatever we’re attempting, at some point we need to enlist the help of others to move forward. When we find ourselves spinning our wheels or overwhelmed, that’s a significant clue that we should be asking for help.
Keep the following thought in mind the next time you need to ask someone for help, especially if you feel like your asking is a bother to others. While you’ve undoubted have been told, “If you need help, ask”, have you ever told that to someone else? (I’ll bet you have!) And when you told them, did you mean it? (I’ll bet you did!) It therefore seems reasonable to believe that most people would be glad to help, if you simply asked.