happiness

Take A Closer Look

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Last night after work my wife and I went to the national wildlife refuge by our house to look at the birds in the area.  (There is a nesting pair of bald eagles that has been cool to see!)  At first glance, when we pulled up to the big duck ponds, it appeared that they were full of the regular birds you see all the time.  After a closer look, that turned out not to be the case.

As we combed through the crowd of ducks with the binoculars, we started noticing out-of-the-ordinary birds we hadn’t seen before were also part of the mix.  We saw a Green Winged Teal, a Cinnamon Teal, and a Ringed Neck duck.  It was amazing to me how much variety there was hidden within the crowd.

That experience got me thinking that it’s probably a lot like that with how we see the world around us.  Do we see all the negative things happening, or are we on the lookout for the good being done.  Are we on focused on just what’s popular and mainstream, or are we looking at other forms of music, film, literature, people, food, and experiences? 

There’s a lot of different and interesting things in the world that can be easily missed, unless we slow down and take are time to have a closer look.

Before You Say No

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My cousins were in town this week, and Thursday evening one of them text me to see if I’d be available for lunch on Friday.  My first thought was that I would be working that day.  After about 2 seconds I said, “Lunch sounds great!”  We all had a great time.

I share that little story as a reminder not to be too quick to say, “No”.  We can always find reasons not to do something, but we can just as well find reasons to engage, especially when it has to do with building relationships. 

In 10 years, I won’t remember what I would have done at work for those couple of hour, if I had said “No” to lunch with my cousins.  However, I’ll never forget the time we had.

I made a good choice!

Grateful For The Example

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I was listening to a podcast recently about the book, “Up From Slavery” by Booker T. Washington.  The positive attitude Mr. Washington possessed, both during and after facing terrible social injustices, blew me away.  I’ve since gone to the library and checked out this book so I can read it for myself.

Based on a few of excerpts from the book, that were read on the podcast, I was struck with how Washington chose positivity, focus, and growth, when he could have easily chosen bitterness, anger, and apathy.  Regardless of what happened to him that was outside of his control, he was focused on becoming a certain type of person.  Excuses were shattered by him, and circumstances were simply part of the landscape he had to navigate to get where he wanted to go.  Quite simply, the guy was remarkable.

Washington reminds me that if he can become a positive man of character, in spite of all the roadblocks and injustices he’s faced, then what excuse do I have not to do likewise?  I’m grateful for his example.      

Ask For Help

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Here’s a simple thought that can yield significant results:  when you’re stuck, ask for help.

Whether it’s a problem you’ve got that you’re trying to solve, some expertise you need that you don’t have, or wisdom you lack that you need, seek help from those who have the knowledge you do not.

Why should we spin our wheels trying to solve something when we don’t have to?

Follow Through On Intentions

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I was really impressed with something our pastor did in church last Sunday.  As I was reflecting on it later in the day I thought, “I should send him a hand-written note and tell him how much I appreciated what he did.”  That’s a good intention.  However, as the week got busier, I could feel my intention slipping to the back burner toward inaction.  If I didn’t do something, the likelihood that this intention would ever bloom into realized action, was not looking good.

So last night I just decided (and actually followed through) that I was not going to do anything else until I got the note written and put it in an addressed envelope with a stamp.  As I type this, the note is in the care of the USPS and on its way to the recipient. 

When we have a good intention, we should honor that intention by taking the necessary action to bring it to life.  Not only will be feel good about following through on our good intention, we’ll hopefully be blessing someone else as well.

Starting The Day Grateful

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I made a focused effort this year to be more consistent with my journaling, and it seems to be working!  I’ve been writing 6 days per week since the beginning of 2023!  All I needed to do was weave journaling into a part of my daily morning routine.  Who knew it was that simple?

One thing I’ve been doing to start my journaling is to write 3 things that I’m grateful for.  I’ve heard a lot of people suggest that, so I thought I’d give it a try.  It’s amazing after a few weeks how many things you have to be grateful for.  We all know that, but it’s different when you actually see them written down.

I’ve enjoyed recalling things I’m grateful for when I journal in the morning. Not only is it a good reminder of how much I have to be grateful for, it also points me in the right direction mentally every morning.  When I start my day with thoughts of gratitude, it feels like I’m setting my mind up to be grateful all day, which is right where I want to be. 

Looking For Excuses

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It’s so easy to find an excuse to get out of doing something you don’t want to do.  Have you ever thought of looking for excuses to do what you know you should be doing?  

For example, maybe you go to the gym every morning when you wake up.  However, on this particular morning, it’s dark, cold, and rainy out when you wake up.  The easy excuse to get out of going to the gym is, “It’s cold and wet outside, but it’s nice and warm in bed.  I’m going to skip the gym today and go tomorrow.” 

At this point, you could also look for an excuse to go to the gym, regardless of the weather.  Your excuse to do what you know you should do, might be, “It’s kind of crappy out, but I’m already awake, and I’ll feel good once I’m done.  There really isn’t a good reason not to go.”

Looking for excuses to follow through, instead of mailing it in, is  a way to reframe the discussions we often have with ourselves when we’re trying to take the easy route.  Often times we just need to give ourselves a little pep talk, or light a fire for ourselves.  And often, a good excuse is just what we need. 

Division

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Think, for a moment, of all the things that people can have differing opinions about.  The list is endless!  Topics range from volatile ones like pollical leaning and religion to more innocuous ones like music preference, being a morning or evening person, or your favorite flavor of ice cream. 

Now think of the people you know.  How many of them do you have the exact same opinions on every topic with?  Zero?  Yeah, me too.

With so many things to be divided over, it’s important that we are mindful of what we actually allow to drive wedges in our relationships.  Do we really want to shut someone down or vilify them over minor differences?  Do we really want our radars up looking for reasons to be divided, versus looking for what unites us?  Do we want others looking us with an eye toward division?

Leading with an eye toward division comes with a high price.  We miss out on opportunities to learn more about others.  In some cases, we drive wedges between those closest to over insignificant differences.  What a sad realization it would be to look back on such a life, and see all the division we’ve created, because all we were seeing were differences versus people.

Forgiveness

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This week’s post is simple:  If you need to ask someone for forgiveness, do it immediately.  I had a choice to do that this week.

This week, a great friend of mine pointed out a behavior to me that falls well below my personal standards.  It wasn’t terribly easy to hear, but I could recognize the truth in what he said.  As I pondered his words later that day, I got the Holy Spirit prompting that I needed to ask this friend for forgiveness.

We have a choice when we know we need to ask for forgiveness.  We can either do it (obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit for Jesus followers) or make excuses why we don’t need to seek forgiveness.  In these situations, our excuses not to seek forgiveness are usually just lame excused to protect our pride.

I am blessed that my friend gave me forgiveness.  When I think about it, had I instead chosen to protect my pride (which is easy for me to do!), it could have cost me a dear friend.  In my book, that was far too high a price to pay.

I tell you that to encourage you to seek forgiveness when you know it’s what you need to do, so that you don’t wind up making a relationally costly mistake. 

Changing For A Change

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Journaling is something that I really enjoy doing.  I like its reflective aspects, as well as how it causes me to look forward with an eager anticipation of the good things to come.  I just feel like I do life better when I’m journaling versus when I’m not.

The problem I have, is that I’m incredibly inconsistent in my journal writing.

I’ve decided that I need to greatly increase the frequency of my journal writing this year.  As such, I’ve changed a couple of things that I expect will cause my journal writing frequency to increase, not just this year, but for many years to come.

For starters, I’ve been waking up 15 minutes earlier.  (I know, “What a novel idea!”)  I’ve also, integrated journaling as part of my morning routine, right between reading the Bible and eating my morning oatmeal.  My morning routine is solidly established, so by getting up a little earlier, and adding journaling between 2 regular activities, I stand a very high chance of making journaling an established part of the routine as well.

I’ve also made a couple other changes that are more conducive to journaling, like where I sit when I read the Bible, and keeping my journal in that location.  That way, it’s already there when I show up to read.

This year, I determined that I needed to make a change (or two) in order to make journaling a regular habit.  The problem I’ve had in the past is that I’ve always wanted to journal more, but I didn’t change anything significant to cause that to happen.  So far, I’m off to a good start!

Are there any changes you need to make for a change?