happiness

Not To Be Wasted

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Earlier this week I was on a flight from Portland Oregon on a cloudy February morning.  Shortly after takeoff we entered the gray clouds above, losing visual contact with the ground below.  As we were enveloped by the clouds, a much anticipated change stated to occur.

The clouds surrounding the aircraft transitioned from dark gray to white with ever increasing brightness.  Then, in a moment of face-warming, eye-squinting brilliance, we emerged atop the cloud layer and into the bright blue sun-filled sky.  I smiled.

There’s something about a sunny blue skin in the morning that charges me up and gets me excited for the day ahead.  This particular morning it was especially enjoyable, due to the lack of sunny mornings in western Oregon this winter.

I’m eagerly anticipating the sunny mornings of late spring, summer and early fall.  The fact that they are not the norm around here for a significant part of the year makes them unique.  Add to that the positive impact they have on me and they suddenly become something of great value.  For this reason I feel they should be taken advantage of and not taken for granted.  For me, sunny mornings should not be wasted.

What are some positive things you enjoy that you may not get to experience as often as you might like?  Whether it’s fresh seasonal fruit, time with certain people, time away from life’s normal routine, or engaging in a seasonal activity, be on the lookout for their occurrence and plan to take advantage of them when they present themselves.

They are precious and not to be wasted.

You Won’t Stay There For Long

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Last Friday I bought my first bass guitar.  The following Wednesday evening I had my first bass guitar lesson.  I’ve been learning to play Louie Louie, Peter Gunn, Smoke on the Water, and Iron Man.  It’s been a lot of fun, but I’ve also realize something:  when it comes to playing the bass… I suck!

And you know what?  That’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Think about it.  We don’t go from being a beginner to mastering a topic in 1 lesson.  Learning is a process, and that process starts with not being very good (sucking) at whatever it is we’re attempting to learn.  It’s here where we begin identifying what we need to do to become better and then focusing our efforts toward that end.

When we suck at something, we have clear benchmarks to measure our progress.  In my case as a bass player, I’m sure I’ll suck next week too, but not as much as I do this week.  I’ll be able to see where I’ve improved over the last week and what I need to improve on in the week ahead.

The problem comes when we equate sucking at something because we’re new to it, with being incapable of learning.  As a result of this line of thinking, we often give up way too early without ever embracing the learning process and trusting that as we diligently progress, we will suck much less in the future that we do today.

I encourage you to get comfortable with the discomfort of the learning process.  If there’s’ something you’d like to study, learn, or pursue, go after it knowing that you’re GOING TO suck at first.  But also know that if you stick with it, you won’t stay there for long.

Thousands of People Do It Everyday

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When I set out to learn a new skill, there’s a phase in the beginning where I feel stupid because I’m being challenged by something I’ve never done before.  Whether it’s learning to read music, mastering a piece of software, learning to fly, or pumping my own gas ( I live in Oregon where we have laws against me doing that), there’s an initial awkward feeling that raises questions and doubt regarding my ability to grasp and apply what I’m attempting to learn. This is a time when it’s very easy to quit because our doubt is high and our ability is low.

Whenever I feel like this, I reassure myself with the following thought:  “Every day thousands of people are successfully doing what I’m trying learn today”

Now I’ve never been accused of being the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’m also far from the dullest.  As experience has shown me, I am quite capable of learning new skills and grasping complex topics.  I’ll the same could be said of you.

I think we’re all susceptible to feeling overwhelmed and frustrated when we’re in the beginning stages of learning something new.  However, I also think each one of us is capable of positively resetting our minds by reminding ourselves that several other people, just like us, have pursued and mastered the same thing we’re attempting to learn.  And, just like we are now, they likely struggled doing it.

May we be encouraged by their success.

It’s Happening Now

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This week I saw the following statement on someone’s T-shirt:  “Enjoy it because it’s happening now”.

I love this timely reminder!

With the beginning of a new year, it’s common to focus on goals and what we plan on doing in the upcoming weeks and months of 2017.  While looking ahead and planning are indeed both important endeavors, it’s equally important that they not occur at the expense of enjoying the good things we’re experiencing in the present moment.

It seems to me that we create our history, our memories, our relationships, and even cement our legacies by how we choose handle what’s happening to us in each moment.

What kind of memories are we creating when we’re overly focused on the future?  What kind of relationships are we creating when we’re too distracted slow down and connect with the people we love and care about?  How will we be remembered by the people with whom we have the pleasure of crossing paths with?  Will they feel like we were looking over their shoulders to see what was next, or will they feel like we actually cared about and were interested in them?

Once gone, a present moment cannot be recaptured.  We can’t go back and extract enjoyment we left on the table from a moment that has already passed.  We must be mindful to enjoy what’s happening right now.

 

Are You Committed

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With 2017 looming, many people are beginning to express their intentions for the New Year in the form of goals and resolutions.  I love this time of year, because it causes us to pause and think about how we’d like to change our lives to be better in the next 12 months.

While we have no problem expressing our intentions, we often lack the commitment to take action that will move these intentions toward becoming reality.  Dr. Steve Maraboli states:

“Intent reveals desire; action reveals commitment.”

 I would agree.  It’s easy to talk about our desires, because it doesn’t require anything from us.  The more challenging step is to parlay that talk into action, which often requires a potentially uncomfortable or unfamiliar step out of our norm.  Our willingness to take that step is a strong indicator of our commitment to what we say we desire.

Consider this, as you look ahead to 2017; what if the only thing standing in your way of achieving what you desire for the New Year is your willingness to take action?

Are you committed?

Curiosity and Understanding

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A couple of weeks ago my wife and I attended a Moth Mainstage event in Portland Oregon.  The Moth features everyday people who tell stories about their life without using any notes.  It’s just the speaker, a microphone, and the audience.

That night we heard from 5 different storytellers:

  1. A junior speech writer for President Obama
  2. An Australian lady helping her Hungarian boyfriend gain US citizenship
  3. A dad remembering a Halloween after the death of a beloved family pet
  4. The son of a man who died on Mt. Everest
  5. A Sudanese refugee’s journey across Africa, after fleeing from her war-torn country, that eventually led to the United States

Their stories were riveting.

As my wife and I were driving home, discussing what we’d just heard, we were both struck by how hearing someone’s story gave us an understanding as to how they thought about, felt about, and perceived their unique experience.  Even though neither of us has fled a war in our own country, we gained a slight understanding of how someone who has had that experience might feel, simply by hearing this Sudanese woman’s story.

Here’s the best part:  if we ever meet someone who is or was a refugee, we will have a better chance of understanding what concerns or fears they may be dealing with, simply because we were willing to listen to someone else’s similar experience.

I think it’s important to be curious about other people and willing to listen to them in order to gain a better perspective as to how their experiences have shaped their worldview, especially when they are different from us in culture or beliefs.

Be curious as you meet people that are different from you, and be willing to listen to them to understand how their experiences have shaped them.  It’s a great way to build connection with people you meet in the future that may have had a similar experience.

Just Like Snowflakes

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Many years ago, I spent a fall and winter at Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri while attending Army basic training.  Those were some frigid months that gave me a new found appreciation for how frozen vegetables must feel.  During those below-freezing temperatures however, I was blessed to have also seen some of nature’s most beautiful work.

One night after dinner we were lined up in formation to march back to the barracks.  (The Army loves to march!)  As we were standing in the dry frigid air of night, waiting for the drill sergeant to bark out commands to being marching, it began to snow.  I noticed a couple of flakes fall on the soldier’s coat in front of me, and as they did, I couldn’t believe what I saw.  Each individual flake was so perfectly and uniquely shaped, just like you see in Christmas cartoons or beautiful Christmas ornaments.  Never before had I seen an individual snow flake.  Sure, I knew that snow is made of up individual flakes, but this was the first time I had actually seen how detailed, elegant, fragile, and beautiful a snowflake really is.  It was a scene I have never forgotten.

It’s hard to believe that something like a ski slope, a snow covered meadow, a snowy mountaintop, or even an avalanche is made up of millions of unique, individual, beautiful snowflakes.  I think it’s a lot like that with people as well.  It’s easy to just see people as communities, nations, families, organizations, or other large collections.  But what’s interesting to me is that every one of the aforementioned groups is made up of unique, individual, beautiful people.

As you’re moving around in the different groups of people in the weeks ahead, take notice of the individuals that make up those groups.  Look at how unique each one of them is and how their uniqueness adds to the group they’re in.

And don’t forget to look at yourself as well.  You are also unique and valuable to the larger groups you are a part of, and those groups are fortunate to have you.

Flawed People

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Last week I started reading “Alexander Hamilton” by Ron Chernow.  I’ve been amazed at what Hamilton was able to accomplish, regardless of his humble beginnings.  He was a significant figure in the formation of America, and it surprised me that we weren’t taught  more about him in school.

As I read about Hamilton, and many of the other founding fathers of America, I’m struck by the fact that even though they accomplished so many great things, they were all flawed individuals.

It’s easy to look at people who have accomplished great things and think that they have it all together or that they don’t have any challenges, insecurities, or flaws.  It is also easy to look at ourselves and think that we aren’t capable of great things because of our challenges, insecurities, and flaws.  However, Hamilton’s story reminds me that we are all flawed, and that it is flawed and imperfect people that do great things in the world.

Being flawed is not a barrier to doing great things; it feels more like a requirement.

Part of the Community

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Have you ever strained a muscle in your lower back?  Not only is it painful, it also underscores how much those muscles are used throughout the day for routine tasks like walking, standing, balancing, sneezing, and a host of other activities.  It isn’t until these muscles are strained or out of commission that we realize how important they are to the larger community of our physical body.

I think it can be like that with people in our lives as well.  We don’t realize how important others are or how much they contribute until they are no longer around.  And I’m not just referring to those closest to us.  Think about the people that make your community function like the grocers, merchants, manufacturers, civil servants, garbage collectors, doctors, public utilities… the list is endless.

When these people are present, we hardly notice them.  Now imagine if any one of these groups of people were no longer around in your community.  It wouldn’t take long to notice, as our community would be significantly impacted by their absence.

I mention this not only as a reminder to be grateful for all those in our communities that we don’t notice, but rely on daily, but to remind us that others in our communities are counting on us as well.

That’s how communities work.

The Voice

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There’s a group of people where I work that get together every other Friday to practice public speaking.  The group leader emails out a couple of topics at the beginning of the week, and each person who would like to speak has 5 minutes to present their topic.  It’s a great opportunity to regularly practice speaking in front of a group.

Although I love the creative process of getting a topic, thinking about what I want to communicate, and crafting my presentation, at some point during the process I briefly think, “I don’t have to talk this week.  I could just pass this time, then I wouldn’t have to do all this work to prepare.”  That’s the voice of fear that thinks it’s easier not to put yourself out there, to play it safe, and not to take chances.

I don’t listen to that voice.  Instead, I double-down on my preparation efforts.

Every time I finish a presentation, there’s a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment at having prepared and delivered a good speech.  If I’d have listened to that voice, I would have missed that feeling, as well as the experience that came with it.

We all have that voice, the one that urges us to hold back and play it safe.  And we all have the same freedom: to succumb to that voice’s false warning or to ignore it and press on.

I wonder how much joy, satisfaction, accomplishment, encouragement, innovation, experiences, personal growth, and love in the world is lost every day, because people listen to this voice.

The next time you hear this voice calling you to hold back and play it safe, tune it out, and instead press on and do great things.