happiness

The Ability of Music

/ Scott / 2 Comments

As I’m sitting down to write this week’s blog I’m listening to the “Les Miserables Live! The 2010 Cast Album”.  The music in this soundtrack has a wide gamut of emotional connections, from big powerful numbers that get your heart rate up to those that are soft and tender that will bring tears to your eyes.

Such is the power of music.

What a blessing to live in a world with music!  Music has the uncanny ability to:

  • Encourage
  • Soothe and calm us
  • Get us fired up
  • Focus our thinking (or make us think)
  • Distract us
  • Make us laugh
  • Make us cry
  • Create connections
  • Tell stories
  • Heal us
  • Set a mood
  • Trigger memories
  • Create memories…

… and that’s just the beginning of a very long list!

If you’re not already doing so, look for way to integrate music into your daily routine.  In addition, explore new types of music you may not normally listen to.  You may discover a whole new genre that you really resonate with.

And what a blessing that would be.

What We Don’t Know

/ Scott / Leave a comment

We think we know more than we actually do.  Consider the following scenarios:

Scenario What we think
Someone cuts us off in traffic. They are mean-spirited jerks and did that to us on purpose.
Someone is short or rude with us. They are also a jerk, just like the person who cut us off in traffic!  What a jerk.  What a rude jerk!
We reach out to someone via email, text, or phone call and they don’t respond. They must be mad at us.

The “What we think” column sounds rather petty as I write this, but I’ll admit that I’ve often made quick judgments in similar scenarios.   What I’ve discovered is that my quick judgments, like the ones above, are seldom, if ever, accurate.

What if, for example:

  • The person who cut us off in traffic didn’t see us when they were getting over and would have been mortified to know they had done that.
  • The person who was short with me just got a bad medical diagnoses about themselves or a loved one.
  • The person who didn’t respond to an email or text has been preoccupied with an urgent family emergency or has just been busy and hasn’t had the chance to respond, even though they have been thinking about us.

The next time we’re presented with a similar scenario, let’s consider something besides or initial negative judgement; perhaps a response with a little more grace and understanding.  Just like the type of response we’d like to receive.

Becoming More Mature

/ Scott / 2 Comments

“Maturity does not always come with age.  Sometimes age comes alone.”

~ John C. Maxwell

We often think of maturity as the natural byproduct of getting older; as something that just happens on a parallel track with our age.  However, there is a big difference:  maturity comes from being intentional, while age is automatic.

Becoming more mature is something we can do at any age.  For example, we can:

  • Be aware of how our actions impact others, as well as how they impact us.
  • Evaluate our different life experiences (learning what has worked for us and what hasn’t) and apply what we’ve learned.
  • Fill our minds with positive content that will help us become the type of person we want to be.
  • Extend gratitude, compassion, and grace to those around us.

While this isn’t an exhaustive list on how to become more mature, it’s a good starting point.

Maturity doesn’t just happen.  We’re fortunate that becoming more mature is a choice we can all make for ourselves.

Let’s choose wisely.

Moving Past Fear

/ Scott / Leave a comment

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”     ~ Theodore Roosevelt

It’s easy to read Roosevelt’s words and think “to dare mighty things” is referring only to monumental undertakings.  I think this quote also speaks of living a life with willingness to step out of our comfort zones and try new things, even with the possibility of failure.

Here’s a nugget of truth that is applicable for all of us:  we are going to fail.  At some point, we’re going to fall short, do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, or lack the skills, experience, or wisdom needed to succeed.  There’s no escaping it.  It’s part of the human condition.  But failing does not mean we are failures.

I find that liberating!

President Roosevelt’s words remind us that successes, victories, and triumphs often come through our failures.  Being willing to move ahead, even after failure, is how great things are achieved, and how a fulfilling life is lived.  On the contrary, playing it safe, in order to avoid failure, does not lead to success. Rather, it leads to regret and a life that knows neither victory nor defeat.

Where are you holding back because of a fear of failure?  What step can you take today to break through the fear that is holding you back?  Take that step, without being concerned about failing but rather be focused on giving your best effort.

Who knows, you might be wildly successful.

Taking It In

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I was looking forward to viewing the solar eclipse that made its way across the United States earlier this week.  The experience was far beyond my expectations.

It’s hard to put into words just how awesome, beautiful or surreal the scene was.  From the first glimpse of the moon beginning to cover the sun to the main even of the total eclipse and diamond ring, it was an event I will never forget.

Before the big day arrived, I decided I wasn’t going to take any pictures during the 2 minutes of the eclipse.  My thinking was there would be plenty of other people capturing the moment, who had much better photography skills than I possess.  Instead, I decided to just watch the event and take it in.

I made a good choice.  It was nice to be totally in the moment without distraction.

While taking pictures is a great way to capture a moment, at times, I think the best way to preserve a memory is to give an event, or person, our undivided attention.  Not every event or occasion requires we reach for a device to take a picture.  Sometimes, all we need to do is just take it in.

Being Influenced

/ Scott / 2 Comments

The TV blared the news of the previous weekend events as I sat in the doctor’s office waiting room on Monday.  It was a continuous recount of the violence that occurred in Charlottesville.  After a while, I began to feel a weight from this stream of negativity.  So I looked away from the TV, put in my earplugs and read a book.

I like to be informed of current events, but I don’t need to see image after image of intentional acts of hatred.  Too much exposure to this type of negative press eventually begins to influence our thinking and how we view the world around us.  At least it can for me.  That is not how I want to be influenced.

Based on my own experience, I know there are a lot of good people doing good things in the world.  I come in contact with them every week, if not every day.  It’s these types of activities and people that I want to focus my attention on and to be influenced by.

And fortunately, they’re in large supply.  We need only look for them.

Signaling

/ Scott / Leave a comment

What does each of these items have in common?

  • A car’s blinker
  • A rattling rattlesnake (I experienced this just last month!)
  • Outstretched arms and a smile

They are all signals that communicate something to those in the area.  A car’s blinker signals the driver is about to make a turn.  A buzzing rattlesnake signals that it feels threatened and wants you to move away.    Open arms and a smile almost always signals that you’re about to get a hug!

Every day we encounter and respond to multiple signals, quite often without even being aware of them.  In fact, I think that we’re often not aware of what signals we’re actually sending to others.

Consider the following:

If we… We are likely signaling…
Have our headphones or earbuds in… We aren’t interested in interacting with others or don’t want to be disturbed.

 
Are focused on our smartphone when we’re in the presence of others… There’s something more important, or more interesting, than what we’re involved in right now.

 
Look someone in the eye and ask questions when talking with them… We are interested in them and what they’re talking about.

 
Say “Hi” to someone we know when we see them… We noticed them and that they are important enough to us to say “Hello”.

 
Smile… We are friendly and approachable.

 

Think about what you’re regularly signaling to those around you.  Do those signals accurately reflect the message you want to send or the person you want to be?

Let’s work at being aware of the signals were sending those around us and, where applicable, consider signaling something more positive.

Experiences Versus Things

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Last week my wife and I took our nephew to Crater Lake.  During the school year he did a report on Crater Lake (complete with a presentation in front of the class) so it was fun to be there when he first laid his eyes on the subject of his study.  We all had a great time seeing the lake, taking a tour around the rim, and visiting the lodge and visitor center.  It was a very enjoyable shared experience that we will all remember for many years to come.

I love shared experiences where good lasting memories are made.  Not only does the experience make my life more rich and interesting, sharing the memories with the people who were also there is a great way to not only relive the experience, but to build connections and deepen relationships with those involved.

Isn’t that what life is about:  sharing experiences, creating memories, and building relationships with others?

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to have positive shared experiences with those closest to you and then take advantage of those opportunities.  By doing so you’ll be building relationships as well as memories.

Said No One

/ Scott / Leave a comment

“I wish I had spent more time on my smart phone.”   ~no one on their deathbed…EVER!

Every day I observe people who spend significant time on their smart phones while ignoring those around them, even when those around them are family or friends.  That always makes we  wonder, “What on your smart phone is so exciting that it causes you to willingly ignore those right in front of you?”

The thought of our last days on earth tend to bring into focus what’s really important to us.  Usually, what we say is most important are those closest to us.  It is often these people that we would like to spend our last days on Earth with.   I say, “Why wait until our last days?  Why don’t we put down our devices and start connecting with those people NOW, before it’s too late.”

This may cause you to miss a few social media posts or spend less time playing your favorite game on your smart phone, but isn’t that worth it?

Hopefully, it is.

Grateful for the Experience

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Early last Sunday morning I was driving home from a weekend fly fishing trip in Central Oregon.  The temperature was a pleasant 70 degrees (Fahrenheit) under a cloudless, sunny blue sky.  It is mornings like this that make me feel especially blessed to be alive.

Since my wife was out of town, I decided to take my time getting home and enjoy being out in such a beautiful part of the state on a morning like this.  It was great!  I stopped at to look at a scenic landmark, walked through the town of Sisters Oregon, and read the Bible along the banks of the awe-inspiring Metolius River.  I felt recharged, inspired, and invigorated.

MetoliusAs I realized it was time to start making my way home, I was a little saddened that my wonderful morning was about over.  I didn’t want it to end.

Have you ever felt like that?  You’re having such a great time that the thought of it coming to an end is rather sad.  That’s how I felt this particular morning.

However, my wonderful morning reminded me of the following quote:  “Don’t be sad it’s over; be grateful you had the experience.”

Sure, it can be sad when something you enjoy comes to an end, like:

  • A fun time away from the regular routine.
  • A visit from a friend or relative.
  • The end of a rewarding job or career.
  • The loss of a beloved pet.
  • A child leaving home.
  • An enjoyable vacation/holiday.

But consider how blessed you were to have had the opportunity to create the memories those things produced.

The next time you’re feeling sad at the end of an enjoyable experience, make the mental shift from sadness to gratitude.  Be grateful for memories you just made, while eagerly looking forward to the new ones yet to come.