communication

Lifting and Being Lifted

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I like encouraging people.  Whether it’s through letters, email, text, phone, in person, or through prayer, I love lifting people up.  What I’ve also been embracing the last few years is to let other people lift me up as well, especially through prayer. 

What this looks like for me is letting those close to me know what’s going on in my life.  How can someone encourage you if they don’t know what you’re facing? 

I didn’t use to do this much because I didn’t want to burden people with what I was facing.  I’ve realized that when I keep my life close to the vest, I keep others from experiencing the joy they would receive from lifting me up.   

/ Scott / Leave a comment

At a restaurant last weekend, I noticed a party of 4 (2 couples) get seated at a table near us.  Almost immediately after they were seated, one of the people pulled out their cell phone, propped it up, and began watching a football game.   Occasionally, this person would say something to other people at the table, but after they made their comment, their focus would return right back to their phone.

Wait, it gets better.

When half time arrived, this same person took an incoming call and began talking about the first half of the game with whomever called.  It was frustrating to watch.  I can imagine how unseen and unimportant this person’s dinner guests must have felt.  It never feels good to come in second place to a cell phone.

For me, I would much rather have a friend be honest and say something like, “Hey would you mind if we rescheduled dinner?  There’s a big game on that I’d really like to see, and I want to be present when we all go out to dinner together.” That would be so much better than to show up and have a friend tell you, through their actions, “I know you’re right in front of me, but right now, this game is more important to me than connecting with you.” 

The interaction I saw reminded me of the importance of being present with people, especially when we set aside time to be with them and connect with them.  To do otherwise is to send a message (perhaps unintentionally) that they aren’t that important to us.

A Quick Thought On Bringing Up Concerns

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Have you ever been in a meeting or a conversation where you wanted to bring up a concern that you had, but you didn’t?  I think we’ve all experienced something like that.  I know I have. 

If we choose not bring up a concern when we have the opportunity to do so, it’s important to remember that we are then giving up our right to complain about it later.  

Capture It

/ Scott / Leave a comment

I had a great idea for a topic to write about in this week’s post!  The idea just popped into my head as I was getting ready Thursday morning, and I was eager to tease it out later in the day.  When I sat down to recall the topic, it wasn’t there.  Like a vapor, the idea seemed to leave my head as mysteriously as it showed up. 

I love the comment “Your head is a great place for having ideas, but it’s a lousy place for storing them”.  What I should have done on Thursday morning, was to take 15 seconds to jot the idea down.  I didn’t need to write the whole post, this the highlights.  Enough for a good mental trigger, to remind me of the idea when it was time to sit down and write.  Fortunately, there will be other opportunities to do likewise!

Does your mind supply you with good thoughts and ideas you want to remember for later?  If so, I encourage you to capture them when they occur.  How you capture it isn’t important; in a journal, on a scrap of paper, digitally on your phone or computer, it really doesn’t matter.  The important point is to capture the idea in the moment, so you have it when you need it. 

Slowing Down

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Based on a recommendation, I recently started reading the book “Mindfulness” by Gill Hasson.  One thing I realized, even before finishing the book’s introduction, was that I would have to slow down when reading this book.

Even in my early reading of this book, I found myself re-reading sections, marking passages and making notes in the margin.  There are also parts that are good for reflection and journaling.  None of this would be possible if I didn’t slow down.  In the case, the object is not to turn pages as quickly as I can, but rather to get the most out of the book that I can apply in my life.

I think there are many instances where we would do well to slow down.  Perhaps we should slow down in our interactions with those important to us and actually listen to what they saying and be present in our conversations.  We could even throttle back our pace and take greater notice of our surroundings, noticing the beauty that becomes invisible at speed.

Are there any areas in your life where you might benefit from slowing down?  If so, give it a try.  You might just be surprised by what you notice.

Kind Words

/ Scott / Leave a comment

This week a work I received a very kind email from someone that I completed a task for.  They were very generous with their comments in appreciation for the job I did for them.  Their email was a pleasant surprise, and made my day that much brighter.

It got me thinking how we can bless other people by sharing kind words of genuine appreciation with them.  Whether these words are spoken verbally, sent electronically, or hand written, they have the potential to brighten someone else’s day in a way they might not have expected.

Let’s be on the lookout for opportunities speak/write kindness.  And when we recognize an opportunity, let’s take advantage of it by liberally dispensing kind words to others.

When It’s Someone You Know

/ Scott / Leave a comment

One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

What Made It Great

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Before I left on a fishing trip to Alaska last week, my wife asked me an interesting question: “What would make this a great trip?”  One could argue that the number and size of the fish we caught would make the trip great.  Perhaps coupling the catch with good weather would also be a good metric for the greatness of a trip.  My response, however had nothing to do with the fish or weather. 

Numbers and size of fish in Alaska are kind of a given.  That’s why people go there to fish.  There’s not much you can do to control the weather, so it seems strange to make that a barometer for greatness.  My answer was, to deepen relationships and create fun memories with the friends I went with, and to connect with the other people that would be there as well.

I’m happy to report that both things happened.  It was fun building memories with my friends over an activity we all like to do.  In addition, the other visitors at the lodge were enjoyable people and fun to connect with over coffee/tea before breakfast, dinner, and while on the rivers fishing.  It’s amazing to me how people who are total strangers one week, can have connection and several good memories the following week!

I’m always encouraged by how much similarity and connection we have with others when we spend time getting to know them.  It’s fun getting to know people and to have others get to know you as well.

When my wife picked me up at the airport, she asked, “How was your trip?”  To which I replied, “It was a GREAT trip!” 

Time Well Spent

/ Scott / Leave a comment

When my wife and I go away for a weekend, we usually like to get home around mid-afternoon on Sunday.  This gives us plenty of time to unpack, do chores, and ease into the upcoming workweek.  Last Sunday, we didn’t get home from our weekend away until 9:30 PM, and we’re glad we did.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we scheduled some time during our trip last weekend to see a friend on Sunday.  What was originally a couple hours together for lunch evolved into a whole day!  We all had a great day together that we will remember for many years.

If my wife and I were unwilling to deviate from our normal practice of getting home mid-afternoon, we would have missed an opportunity to spend a memorable day connecting with our friend.   We chose to spend our Sunday afternoon hours connecting, and it was time well spent.

We Get To Decide

/ Scott / Leave a comment

Just a quick reminder this week, that we get to choose how we respond to events in our life. 

It’s easy to think that we can’t help ourselves, or to blame others (or our emotions) for how we respond to the stimulus in our life.  While we can blame, the truth is, we get to decide how we respond.

Let’s decide, and then follow through, on making good choices.