motivation

Expect to be Successful

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Earlier this week I was talking with a colleague who was telling me how they wanted to start riding their bike to work when the weather began getting nicer.  I was impressed with his declaration and told him that his plan sounded like a great idea.  After which he said, “Yeah, but I probably won’t actually do it.  I’ve already got my excuses lined up.”

His comment surprised me.  As I thought about it more, I wondered how often I’ve sabotaged my own efforts to get begin something by having a similar mindset.  If I’ve got a list of reasons or excuses why an endeavor will fail before I even start, how could I ever expect to be successful?  What’s the point of even trying?

It made me think of all the doubt and negative self-talk we can experience when undertaking a new endeavor (or just going through life) and how, just like my colleague’s comment, this kind of talk can sabotage our efforts, dash our initiative, and place a heavy lid on our potential.

Have you ever experienced this kind of action-stopping self-talk?  If so, here are some tools to help you combat this toxic way of thinking in the future:

  • Be mindful of your attitude, thinking, and the language you use.
  • When embarking on a new undertaking, see yourself being successful.  Tell yourself all the reasons why you will succeed.
  • When you think of potential barriers, think also of how you’ll overcome them.
  • Believe you can achieve the goal you’ve set out for yourself.  Not just an “I think I can” mentality, but rather know that you will be successful.  Remind yourself of this often.

We’ll never cause something to happen by holding a mindset that has “already lined up our excuses” for failure.  Remove that kind of thinking from your mind and replace it with thoughts of persevering, overcoming, and achieving your goals.

As many psychologists and speakers have said, we tend to move in the direction of our dominant thoughts.  Let’s all make sure our thoughts are taking us in a direction we want to go.

Cultivating Fallow Ground

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Every day I read the chapter of Proverbs from the Bible that corresponds to the day of the current month.  I do this because Proverbs is filled with such practical wisdom and guidance that I can apply in my life the same day I read it.  On February 13th this proverb struck me like it never has before:

“The follow ground of the poor would yield much food…”   ~ Proverbs 13:23 (ESB)

Fallow refers to something that is resting, inactive, or used.  As I read this Proverb, I though not about a fallow or inactive plot of land, but rather about how our thinking, talents, and abilities can also become fallow.  I also thought about how, if I changed my thinking or utilized my talents more, I could be producing greater riches in my life, and not simply from a monetary standpoint but from a productivity and fulfillment standpoint as well.

So why do we allow our thinking and talents to become fallow?  I think it comes down to 3 basic reasons:

  • Fear of rejection.
  • Fear of breaking out of our comfort zone.
  • We try to avoid the struggle and unpleasant feelings and experience that can come from stretching our thinking and offering our talents.

Fallow thinking holds us back, and keeps a lid on our potential and the contribution we can make to our careers, families, and communities.  If your thinking has gone fallow, even if only in a certain area of your life, be encouraged.  Just like a fallow plot of land only needs to be cultivated and tended to begin producing a rich harvest, our thinking and talents can also become productive by simply deciding to begin cultivating them.

Here are 3 steps you can take today to cause something to happen to cultivate your fallow thinking or talents:

  • Identify your talents and offer them in service to others, either paid or unpaid.
  • Change your thinking toward a positive bent.  Instead of initially focusing on the negative or allowing your thoughts to park on what is negative, be mindful of cultivating thoughts that are positive and action oriented.
  • Think of the simple things you need to do that day to move you in the direction you want to go, and then do them, no matter how small.  Do at least one small action per day.

Don’t let your mind or talents lay fallow a moment longer.  Put them to use today and set yourself up for a fruitful harvest in the future.

Are You Open to New Thoughts?

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Have you ever encountered a fact that aligns perfectly with something you strongly believe?  I have.  And when I do, I usually am left thinking how great the author of the particular thought is.  It’s a different story when we hear a fact that is completely contrary to, or pokes holes in, a strongly held belief or opinion we possess.  We are likely to reject the information as a weak argument or as being outright false.  Why is that?  Is it just human nature, or is there more to it than that?  The answer is… “Yes”.

It’s called “Confirmation Bias”, and we all suffer from it. Confirmation Bias means that we tend to believe facts and ideas that support our opinions, and discount or completely disregard any facts that do not.  It makes sense when you think about it.  When we hold a strong belief or opinion about something, we’re not going to be super-eager to accept someone else’s idea that is contrary to our own.  Instead, we look for things that support what we believe, because we don’t want to be considered wrong in a belief we hold.

The concern with Confirmation Bias is that if we’re not aware of it, our thinking can become narrow, thus limiting our potential for growth and understanding of new thoughts and ideas.  If we are totally resistant to hearing any new thought that is contrary to our own, our thinking becomes stagnant and we severely limit our existence to the small world of our never-expanding beliefs and opinions.

How can we cause something to happen in our lives so that Confirmation Bias does not restrict us to the pre-determined parameters of our current beliefs and opinions?   Here are some ideas:

  1. Be aware of the existence of this bias as you go through you daily life and begin to be mindful of when you may be reacting to it.
  2. Learn to become open to hearing and considering the “other side” of an argument.  This doesn’t mean that you have to jettison your current beliefs in favor of what the other person is saying.  But at least be open to hearing contradictory facts and beliefs and in order to make informed decisions about what you believe and why you believe it.  Who knows?  You may even be exposed to a new idea that supports further supports your current belief.
  3. Be curious and growth minded.  Become interested in the beliefs of others any specifically why they hold those beliefs.  You may not agree with their belief, or even the reason that they hold it.  However, you will come away with a greater understanding of the person and what motivates their currently held opinions.  This is a key step to productive and meaningful communication.  Not to mention, it’s just fun to do!

Start today to be aware of Confirmation Bias, and how it shapes our beliefs and the beliefs of those we interact with.  By doing so, you’ll be increasing your ability understand and relate to those around you on a deeper level.

Watch Your Language

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If I were to ask you, “What language are you using?” how would you respond?  I imagine most folks would say something like, “English” or “Spanish” or list some other language at which they are proficient.  I doubt many would respond with something like “negative”, “self-defeating”, or “discouraging”.  In fact, I doubt many people give much thought to what type of message their language is conveying beyond the words they speak.  The language we chose to use is powerful, and has a significant impact on our thinking and our outlook on life, as well as our influence on others.

Take a moment and think about the language you use.  Do you have favorite “go-to” phrases you often rely on in your conversations?  What language do you chose to use in describing the world around you?  Does your language consist of phrases like:

  • “That’s just not in the cards for me.”
  • “What’s the point?”
  • “Another day older and further in debt.”
  • “The little man just can’t get ahead.”

Consider the impact a diet of this type of language has your thinking, and on your outlook on life.  Regular use of this kind of negative language can become a vicious circle in your life.  It’s like this…

  • You use negative language that sends a discouraging message…
  • With continued use of this language, you start to believe the negative messages you’re sending…
  • As you begin believing the negative language you’re using, your thinking changes to incorporate these negative thoughts and beliefs…
  • You use even more negative language…

Where does it end?  Furthermore, what kind of people will this kind of language cause us to become?

What if we were to watch our language for the next week with the intent of making it more positive and encouraging?  What if we actually gave thought to the type of language we use and chose our words and phrases as carefully as we chose our next smart phone or automobile?  I’m certainly not saying we have to stop and spend several minutes contemplating everything before we say it.  What I am saying is that using positive (or negative) language is a habit, and we should be mindful enough to ensure that our language serves to improve our outlook and thinking as well as to lift up and encourage ourselves and those we interact with.  Ultimately, we want to build the habit of using positive language.

If you need some help watching your language, cause something to happen by focusing on the following:

  • Begin replacing negative phrases with ones that are more positive and uplifting.  For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never be able to do that.”  Say, “I don’t know how to do that… yet.”
  • Be mindful of the triggers that cause your language to be negative.  Maybe it’s events, locations, or certain people.  When you know you’ll be exposed to one of these triggers, decide in advance that you’ll use language that is positive.  Maybe it’s even time to remove some of these triggers from your life.
  • Remove words from your vocabulary that have a negative connotation and consider reducing or eliminating profanity in your communication.

If you’ve been in the habit of using negative language, and you seek to use more positive language, realize that the change won’t occur overnight.  It will require continuous effort, but don’t let that stop you.  Stick with it!  For as you begin to watch your language, and consciously choose to make it more positive and uplifting, note the change that is also occurring in your thinking and your outlook on life.  Changing our language for the better will change our thinking for the better as well.  And changing our thinking is the beginning of great things.

To begin, we need only to watch our language.

A Routine Tune Up

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I think routines we perform intentionally can be good things.  I mean really, who’s going to argue against the routine of saving and investing a portion of your earnings, or of exercising on a regular basis?  We intentionally establish and, almost automatically, execute these routines because we’re expecting a positive result from doing so.  However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t occasionally hold our routines up to examination.

It is important to regularly review our routines to make sure that they are still yielding the results we expect, otherwise, why should we continue following them?  For example, take exercising or going to the gym.  Sure, you may be working out several days a week, but are you still seeing the results you were striving for when you first began the routine?  You are repeatedly investing your time in the routine, right?  Are you getting the return you expect from the time you’ve invested?

Just because a routine is done for the right reason doesn’t mean that it is exempt from the need for review and scrutiny to see if changes need to be made.  Continuing to use the example of exercising, perhaps that routine needs to incorporate some new exercises or maybe some additional knowledge or perspective is needed from a coach, trainer, or book.  If we’re going to invest the time and effort into following a routine, shouldn’t we strive to get the best results possible?

Changing an established routine can be difficult when the routine has become comfortable and familiar.  The awkwardness of changing can cause us to revert back to the familiarity of our unproductive old routines. (I’m currently experiencing this struggle as I’m changing up my exercise routine and confronting the awkwardness and discomfort that goes with trying something new.)

What about you?  Are there currently some good routines in your life that could use a tune up?  Are you in a routine where you’re trying to cause something to happen, but not getting the results you want?  If so, here’s a simple process that might be helpful:

  1. Examine what parts of your routine require a tune up.
  2. Determine the specific changes needed that would improve your routine to the point you will achieve the results you desire.
  3. APPLY THOSE CHANGES TODAY!

As you face the awkwardness of changing up a familiar routine, keep the following 2 thoughts in mind to avoid slipping back into your old routine:

  1. Keep a clear picture of your end goal in mind.  What’s the reason behind the change you’re making?
  2. Remind yourself that if you’re going to maintain a good routine, you should expect to get the greatest return for the investment of your time.

But don’t stop there!  Continue to evaluate your routines on an ongoing basis to ensure you’re getting the return you expect.  As you make improvements to your routines, be on the lookout for the benefits and positive results that will follow.  They won’t be hard to find.

Does What You’re Doing Inspire You?

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I love listening to a good motivational speaker.  The stories and illustrations they share get me fired up and eager to get out, seize life, and aim higher in the goals I’ve set for my life.  It feels good to be motivated.

I also like being inspired.  “Wait a minute!” I can already hear, “Isn’t being motivated and inspired the same thing?”  On the surface, inspiration and motivation appear to be the same.  However, I believe there is a slight but significant difference between the two, and once we understand this difference, we’ll be better equipped to chart a successful course for our lives.

So what is the difference?

Motivation is an external force that comes from seeing an example, reading a book, hearing a great speech, or myriad other sources.  You can be motivated to do things you are neither passionate about nor interested in.  I’m not saying motivation is a negative force.  On the contrary, it can be quite strong, enabling us to do great things.  But it is external, and can be fleeting.  I look at motivation like taking a shower.  You can’t just take one shower and be clean forever.  A shower is good for a while, but before long, you need to take another one if you want to remain clean.  Likewise, motivation is not something that occurs once and then you never need to be motivated again.  It must be regularly sought.

Inspiration, on the other hand, is something internal.  When you’re inspired, it’s like you can’t avoid doing what you’re inspired to do.    You can spend untold time working toward an outcome that inspires you, and giving your best performance for a sustained duration.  To me, inspiration feel like a fire within that provides extraordinary energy to move forward even against huge odds or pushback.

Ok, great.  Motivation and inspiration are different.  So what?

Here’s the important point about knowing the difference between motivation and inspiration:  if you want to cause something to happen in your life that is significant, pursue something that inspires you.

So what thoughts or activities inspire you?  Are you currently trying to pursue a different course in life, and have multiple options to choose from?  If so, pay attention to what motivates you versus what inspires you.  Choose to pursue those things that inspire you and begin setting yourself up for extraordinary success.

Commitment: The Choice is Ours

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2014 has arrived!  If you’re like most people you’d probably like this year to be better than the previous year.  Not that 2013 was a bad year.  On the contrary, 2013 may have been a very good year.  It was for me.  Most people I know, however, would like to get better or improve this year from where they were the previous year.  I usually don’t meet people that say, “I want to gain 30lbs in 12 months” or “I really need to take on more debt and neglect my most important relationships this year.”  We usually envision a new year where we make improvements in our lives and get better from where we currently are, no matter where that is.  I think that’ a healthy thing to do, as it provides direction and focus for the next 12 months.

The important question is, “What do I need in order to achieve the goals and dreams I’ve laid out for myself this year?”  Hoping they come about is not enough.  Hope, by itself, is a bad plan because it requires nothing on our part.  By itself, hope is a “wait-and-see” event that usually has disappointing results.  What is needed to reach the goals we’ve set for ourselves in the New Year is commitment.

Commitment is the price that is paid to achieve the goals we’ve set.  It’s what we’re willing to start doing, or stop doing, to cause something to happen that will move us closer to the achievement of our goals.  Commitment is the willingness to say, “Yes” to the events, habits, and behaviors that will cause us to be successful and “No” to the ones that won’t.

Here’s the cool thing about commitment…we get to choose it.  We don’t need “commitment approval” from anyone, but rather we get to choose for ourselves whether or not we are going to commit to paying the price required to reach our goals.  That’s encouraging and empowering to me.  If we know what we want, we need only commit to paying the price required.  The other side of the commitment coin is that we can also decide that either the price is too high or we really aren’t committed to paying the price required.  Either way, the choice is ours.

So what goal or dream do you have that requires commitment?  Do you know the price that needs to be paid to attain it?  Have you committed to paying the price with actions rather than just words?  (That last question is where real movement occurs.  Answer “Yes” to that one, and you’ll soon realize significant progress.)  Once your goal or dream has been identified, commit to it with decisive action and then be on the lookout for the positive results that will surely follow.

Your Roadmap for the Next 12 Months

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I love the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.  All the news stations do a recap of the significant events of the previous year, and most people take a moment to review the events of their own lives over the last 12 months.  As important as I believe this reflection is I also believe it’s only one half of a very important process.  Equally important is looking to what lies ahead in the upcoming 12 months.

I believe that each of us have a tremendous amount of control to design and build the type of year we’d like 2014 to be.  Will things that are beyond our control occurring next year?  Count on it!  But that doesn’t mean that we can’t look ahead, decide what we want out life to look like on December 31, 2014 and take daily steps that move us in that direction.  The greatest tool we can employ to this end is to write down our goals for the year and review them regularly throughout.

Our goals are the roadmap that will guide us through the days of 2014 toward the life we desire.  It is important to know what you want out of the next year, otherwise the year will just drift by and you’ll find yourself 12 months older and no different, or closer to where you want to be in your life, than you were a year ago.

If you want to cause something to happen in your life this year, I suggest writing out goals for yourself in each of the following categories:

  • Family
  • Financial
  • Development
  • Social
  • Spiritual
  • Physical
  • Career

For each of these categories, write out what your goals are for the upcoming year.  And be specific.  Don’t use phrases like, “Be better about exercising”.  Write out exactly what your goal is like, “Exercise 30 minutes a day 4 times a week” or “Lose 25 pounds by June 3rd”.  Make them specific and measurable with a timeframe attached.  That way you’ll be able to see what kind of progress you’re making.

I’ve found goal setting to be a worthwhile exercise that is both fun and encouraging in building the life you desire.  And don’t get too worried about achieving every goal.  Your goals should be big and require effort without being so easy that success is guaranteed.  Stretch yourself.  Besides, if someone sets a goal to lose 25 pounds by December 1st and they only lose 19, are they a failure?  Not in my book!

Spend some time planning out how you want your life to look next year at this time.  Write down your goals to get you there and review them regularly throughout the year.  Doing so will provide purpose and direction for your life and move you toward the life you want in the upcoming 12 months.

Here’s to your best year ever!

What’s Needed to Avoid Being Reactive

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Have you ever had those days, weeks, months, or even years, where so much is going on in your life that you feel like you’re just reacting to everything as it happens?    You know how it goes.  Something comes up, it commands your attention so you work on it until the next urgent thing comes up, at which point you stop working on what you were previously working on and focus on this new task, without any sort of plan or method to prioritizing or completing it.  Whew!  It’s draining just thinking about it!  Perhaps you feel like that at home, at work, or at school.  (Maybe you feel like that in all 3 places!)

Regardless where it happens, this cycle of reacting to the last task that comes in places our focus on other people’s agenda and causes our days to be filled focusing on someone else’s priorities.

I’ve been experiencing this during the last few weeks at work and have been thinking about the causes and solutions to avoid staying in this crazy cycle.  In my case it seems that the reason for getting in this cycle is not primarily due to an increase in workload or requests, but rather my lack of prioritizing or having systems in place to handle this workload.

It’s easy to handle a couple of tasks without a system or prioritization process.  Anyone can do that.  It’s when the volume of requests starts to climb that we need the structure of good systems and direction of clear priorities.  Systems tell us how requests will be handled, and priorities tell us what we should be spending our time on.  Without systems and priorities, we lack the necessary tools to help us navigate and process our requests.  How can we expect to cause something to happen if we lack the tools to do so?

Are you feeling overwhelmed at work, school, or home with multiple requests and tasks?  What areas of your life would benefit from having systems and priorities in place to guide you?  Once you identify these areas, spend some time developing the systems and priorities necessary to help you become more effective.  If you need assistance in this area, I recommend reading Work the System by Sam Carpenter and Getting Things Done by David Allen.  Both of these books are excellent and provide great ideas that you can implement immediately.

Even if you’re currently busy and overwhelmed by requests and tasks, take some time to develop the systems you need to handle them. It will be an investment in your productivity and well-being.

You don’t have to be 9 Feet Tall to be a Giant

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There has been a lot spoken about the life of Nelson Mandela in the weeks following his death.  His legacy is being compared with the likes of Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  One thing is certain; on the world stage, Nelson Mandela was big.

I was familiar with his imprisonment and how he forgave his captors as well as him being the first black president of South Africa.  What I didn’t fully understand about this great man was the degree to which he was loved by the people of South Africa.  He was held in high regard by them and often referred to as “the father of the nation”.  In the hearts of the South African people, and people around the world, he wasn’t just big, he was a giant.

Wouldn’t you like to be a giant like that?  I would!  What a great legacy it would be to have had such a positive impact and influence on so many people around the world.  Nelson Mandela was a unique figure in history.  People such as him don’t come along very often.  There are few people that have, or will, leave a similar mark on the world stage.

But don’t lose heard, because there’s good news!  Every one of us has the capacity to be a giant.  We can be giants in our families, our communities, and our circles of influence.

So how do we go about being giants?  What does being a giant in our circles of influence look like?  Here are some actions you can take toward becoming a giant to those around you:

  1. Love those around you and those closest to you.  Don’t just say you love them; show them with your actions and how you live your life.  If you’re not sure what love in action looks like, check out 1 Corinthians 13.
  2. Be a “value add” in the lives of people.  Encourage others.  Listen to them.  Help them out when you can.  Forgive them when it’s needed, or seek forgiveness when it’s needed.
  3. Be present.  When you’re with someone close to you, let your actions show how important they are to you.  Turn the cell phone off and focus on the interaction with them.  Remove distractions and pay attention to what they’re saying.  Ask questions.  It’s a big deal when someone you care about decides to spend some of their time with you.  Their time, like yours, is valuable.  Honor them by being present.

Wouldn’t we all like to know that we were a significant part of the lives of those closest to us, and that we made a difference to them?  We’re all capable of being giants to those around us.  We need only chose to do so and follow that decision up with consistent action that shows those around us that we value them.

Start becoming a giant today.  You’ll feel great from the positive impacts this will have on your relationships, and others will be blessed by having a giant in their lives.