Choice

It Feels Good When You’re Done

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Some activities that are good for us are a real drag to actually do.  You know what I’m talking about.  Like working in the yard, exercising, making sales calls for your business, cleaning out the garage, studying for a test, and several other just-as-exciting activities.  Getting started on tasks like these can be extremely difficult.  Since we don’t really want to do them, it becomes very easy to procrastinate.  We may be able to get started, only to punch out well before these tasks are completed.  Regardless, we are eager to put off doing these tasks as long as possible, or avoid doing them altogether.

What’s interesting though, is that all of these tasks have something in common.  They make us feel good… when we’re done with them.

Take exercising, for example.  We all know it’s good for us and we should be doing it.  However, I’m sure we can all think of several other things we’d rather be doing than exercising, and come up with several reasons why we should skip exercising today and do it “another day”.

But here’s the thing, when we do decide to exercise and actually see it through to completion, don’t we usually feel better having completed our workout?  Don’t we feel good knowing that we’ve put in the effort to cause something to happen that is good for us?  We may even feel proud of our accomplishment and think, “That wasn’t so bad”.

Just this morning I needed to make some sales calls, but I didn’t feel like doing it.  It’s certainly not my favorite thing to do, so I had to work really hard to keep from talking myself out of making them.  I did, in fact make my calls, and when I was done, I felt GREAT!  It was nice to have that big task checked off my list so early.  In fact, those calls didn’t take nearly as long as I thought they would and there is possibility that they will bear fruit in the future.  I’m glad I made those calls.

So what activity, that you know is beneficial, are you struggling to complete because it isn’t fun to do?  Once you have this activity in mind, think about how good it would feel to actually complete it.  Then, use the anticipation of that feeling to get started on that activity.  Remind yourself how good it will feel when you’re finished.  My guess is that, once you’re finished, you’ll feel better than you thought you would.

Unnecessary Roadblocks

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I’m surprised at how easily I can unknowingly put limits on myself that rob me of the opportunity to engage in new life experiences.  For example, when someone presents me with an opportunity to try something new, or to take a course of action that is different from my normal mode of operation, occasionally, before I finish thinking about it, I hear my own voice telling the other person why it won’t work or why it’s a bad idea.  Sometimes this occurs seemingly automatic.  This is not a tendency that I want to take root and become a habit in my life.

Why do we put limits on ourselves lives this?  Living out of fear, playing it safe, or staying in our comfort zone is no way to live a vibrant, fulfilling life we desire.

I’m becoming very mindful of this tendency in my life.  So now,  when I recognize it, I immediately acknowledge it and purposely examine my response to determine if it is coming out of fear or a desire to stay within my comfort zone, versus a legitimate concern.  If it’s a legitimate concern, I act accordingly.  However, if I find I’m acting out of fear or complacency, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m afraid of, or why I’m so reluctant to say yes.  I also remind myself that I’m someone who likes to shake up the routine, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

I also realize that this tendency has caused me to miss out on some experiences I probably would have enjoyed.  As I look back, I’ve always been glad when I’ve gone against this tendency of putting unnecessary limits on myself.  And each time I do, my resolve becomes stronger to continue to do so in the future.

Is this a tendency you occasionally face?  If so, be on the lookout for it, so when it occurs, you can cause something to happen by stopping yourself from placing unnecessary roadblocks on your path to the abundant life.

Be Mindful of What You’re Causing

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When pursuing a goal, we usually know the desired outcome we seek.  We know exactly what we want to cause to happen and we take actions to make it so.  This is good.  It helps us intentionally progress toward our goals.  However, we can also unintentionally cause something to happen that we might not want, if we are not mindful of how or words or actions can effect others.

Earlier this week I found that my actions had produced a negative experience for my wife.  It was something that I neither wanted nor intended to bring about.  It made me wonder how many times a day I am unintentionally causing something to happen because I am not paying attention.  This experience reminded me of my word of the year:  mindful.

Being mindful is being aware of our actions and how they affect us and others.  It is also avoiding the temptation to go on auto-pilot during the day, but instead to actively engage and give thought to what we say and do, realizing that our actions can have an impact on others, whether we’re mindful of them or not.

None of us intentionally want our actions to yield a bad result.  I think it’s safe to say that we don’t want to unintentionally yield bad results either.  Let’s commit to being mindful, not only in the pursuit of our goals, but also in our interactions with those around us.  I think we’ll be pleased with the positive results that we’ll see.

What Are We Afraid Of?

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I had been putting off making a phone call that I needed to make for the last 2 weeks.  It wasn’t anything major.  I just needed to call someone up and ask a couple of “how to” questions.  I don’t really like talking on the phone, so I kept putting it off.  The problem was that doing so stalled progress on a specific goal I am currently pursuing.  I kept telling myself, “I’ll call tomorrow”, but tomorrow turned out to be several days.

Eventually I got fed up with myself, grabbed the phone, and made the call.  You know what?  The call went REALLY well!  Not only did I get my questions answered, I also met a nice person that I will work with in the future.  It turned out to be an enjoyable conversation.

When I hung up the phone I thought, “That wasn’t so bad.  Why didn’t I do that sooner?  What was I afraid of?”  Probably fear.  Probably also getting out of my comfort zone.  Whatever the reason, it cost me 2 weeks of potential progress toward my current goal.  I squandered the opportunity to cause something to happen during those 2 weeks in order to stay in my comfort zone.  How lame is that??!!  Nothing great ever occurs when we act (or don’t act) out of fear.

Moving forward, I’m going to be on the lookout for those the fears and thoughts that keep me from doing what needs to be done, and when I recognize them, I will combat them by taking the action I know I should take.  Have you ever experienced thoughts or fears that hold you back?  Are you experiencing them now?  If so, it’s time to stop letting fear and comfort run the show.  I invite you to join me in defeating them with intentional action.  Doing so will not only cause you to move ahead faster, you’ll also feel great as a result.

The New Normal

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I like change.  Change can bring opportunity, new experiences, and adventures that shake up our daily routine.  Although, I think my thoughts on change are probably like that of most people, as expressed in the following quote:

“We all like change, to the extent that it makes what we’re already doing even better.”

I certainly like change when it benefits me, or improves what I’m already doing.  However, sometimes events occur that change our lives in a way that we do not desire or that we would not have chosen for ourselves.  These could be things like a severed relationship, the loss of a loved one, an unexpected illness, or a host of other events.  As a result, our lives can be changed forever.  The way we once knew things, will never be again, and the future implications are yet to be determined.  One thing we do know is that the future will look very different from our recent past.  This difference is what will become our “new normal”.

Here’s the good news about the new normal:  we have the opportunity to largely determine what that new normal will look like.  We can shape it by deciding what we want it to consist of, and taking steps to bring about that future we envision, thus creating our new normal.

Sure, the situation that caused this change is still present, but that doesn’t mean it has to be what defines our future.  We can spend all of our energy bemoaning our misfortune and focusing on the event that caused this new normal.  We can also squander our ability to define what normal will be and leave it up to others or circumstance to define for us.  But I don’t believe any of those options will yield the results we’re looking for.

If you find yourself facing an event that includes the promise of a new normal, and after you’ve had sufficient time to grieve, get angry, mourn, etc, begin to envision what you want your new normal to look like.  Think about all the things you’d like it to consist of.  Then, when you’re ready, cause something to happen by taking action to turn your vision into the reality of your new normal.

Your future-self will thank you.

We Get to Choose

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Some things are so small that we don’t even recognize them in our daily lives.  Take the untold number of cells that make up our physical being.  So tiny, yet they have a huge impact on our very existence.  The time it takes to blink our eyes is also tiny, yet each blink is necessary for our eyes to function properly.

Another thing that is tiny is the amount of time between a stimulus and a response.  Think about how many times each day we are presented with a stimulus that we then respond to.  In most cases, the time between the stimulus and our response is extremely small.  Sometimes it feels instantaneous, but no matter how small this time is, it is always present.  For example, you hit your thumb with a hammer (stimulus) and then scream out in pain (response).  The response happens almost instantly, however, there is still a measure of time between these 2 events.

Here’s the part that I think is empowering:  in that sliver of time between stimulus and response we get to choose how we respond.  We can’t always control the stimulus, but we can control our response.

Take the scenario of being cut off in traffic.  When this occurs, we have a choice of how to respond.  We can lay on the horn, blurt out some expletive, or offer any number of obscene hand gestures.  Sometimes these responses feel automatic, but we always have a choice.  Instead, we could choose not to become angry and lash out, or we could also choose not to get worked up by it and overlook it all together.  We can choose a better response.

This is one of a number of scenarios we face daily where we can choose to respond in a positive manner instead of defaulting to a negative response.  We can choose to be offended by an inconsiderate comment, or we can choose to overlook it.  We can choose to respond harshly to a spouse or loved one, or we can choose to extend grace, compassion, and understanding.

Be mindful of these moments where we can decide how to respond to a stimulus.  Use them as opportunities to cause something to happen that is positive, instead of automatically responding negatively and see if it doesn’t begin to have a positive effect on your outlook and attitude.