thinking

That’s OK

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I have not made a blog post for the last 2 weeks… and that’s ok.

Since January 2013, I’ve been posting weekly to this blog.  I like the process of having an idea, thinking on it, and organizing that thought into a weekly post. I especially like how this process has improved my thinking, writing, and aided in my personal development.

As a result, I’ve been hesitant to skip a week because I didn’t want to “break the chain”.  The past 2 weeks, however, I intentionally decided not to write a post in order to free up some time to focus on other things.

I admit, it felt strange not to write those posts, but I also realized that it’s ok to skip a week (or 2) to make room in my schedule.

The point of this week’s post is to say that sometimes the right thing to do is to say, “No” to something good and productive, in order to say, “Yes” to something more pressing. 

Sometimes we need to say, “No”, and that’s ok.

Change Gears

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This week I was working on a project that just wasn’t coming together.  The task I was trying to complete became a problem solve to solve.  I worked for the better part of a day on it and still wasn’t having much success.  While I am confident I’ll find a solution, I decided it was time to change gears.

Since I was stuck on this particular task, I decided to change gears and focus on another task that involved a slightly different skillset.  It was great, because I able to make some great headway on this part of the project, while letting my subconscious work on the other task I was having trouble with.

Sometimes I find it’s helpful to focus on something else, instead of continuing to head down a dead end.  Pointing our mind in a new direction can help us gain some success and hopefully come back to the challenging task with a fresh mind ready to solve the problem.

I’m eager to see how this works for me.

Waiting For Perfect

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I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of “waiting for perfect” before making a decision.  Perhaps we were waiting for the perfect scenario, circumstance, job, opportunity, or even person to show up before we committed to taking action.   In some cases, we might even be waiting for perfect from ourselves. 

This will come as no surprise: if we’re delaying action while we wait for perfect to arrive, we’ll be waiting a long time.

A better choice might be to consider good enough for now.

No, I’m not telling you to make bad choices, or to say “Yes” to dangerous or harmful people or things.  What I am suggesting is lifting the expectation of perfection in everything, and considering the very good possibilities that are now available.  You’ll find there are far more very good options than perfect ones.    

Building A Life

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“The way you live your days is the way you live your life.”   ~Annie Dillard

This quote causes me to look at my life from both a macro and a micro level and assess whether the things I’m doing on a daily basis are moving me closer to or further away from the life I want to live.

When observing from a macro level, I think of the words I would use to describe my life.  Would I use words like chaotic, stressful, and uninspiring, or would I use words more like joyful, growing, and energizing?  This zoomed-out perspective provides me with a state-of-my-life assessment.  Whether I’m happy with the assessment or disappointed by it, I can simply zoom in and look at how I’m living each day.

If I like the state of my life, I can identify daily consistencies that cause this outcome, and make sure those are a regular part of my days.  Likewise, I can also identify daily behaviors and/or actions that, if left to compound, could negatively impact my life.  Once identified, I can eliminate or change these behaviors. 

That’s the most encouraging part to me:  we can make changes!  Our lives are the sum of the days we live.  If we don’t like the assessment of our lives, we can change how we live each day.  While these changes are not always easy, they are ours to make. 

Let’s make sure that we’re living our days in a manner consistent with the life we desire.

Having Each Other’s Back

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Last weekend as I was leaving the grocery store, I saw a man in the parking lot who had locked his key in his car, and was trying to retrieve them through his partially opened window.  From what I saw, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be successful.

I then noticed another person, who had also seen what was going on, walk up to the guy’s car and offer to help.  This person apparently had smaller arms than the owner of the car, because they were able to rather quickly retrieve the keys from the car.  Apparently, the car owner’s dog was also locked in the car, so I’m sure the dog was as happy to be set free as the owner was to have his keys!

Although this may seem to be a small act, I’ll bet the owner of the car didn’t think it was. 

Let’s be on the lookout for simple ways we can “have someone’s back” who needs assistance.  If we were in a similar situation, wouldn’t we want someone to have ours?

Give The Process A Chance To Work

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I just got through spending time learning new riffs on the electric bass.  Learning a new riff is often frustrating for me because when I listen to someone playing the riff I’m trying to learn, it seems so easy.  Then I start playing it and I’m no where as smooth crisp as the recording I’m listening to.  For some reason I feel that I should be able to pick the riff up in just a couple of minutes, and play it as good as the person on the recording. 

HA!  That NEVER happens!

What I don’t see or hear in the recordings is all the practice that the person put with the riff in order to play it so well.  I’m just seeing the finished product, without any mention of the process to get to that point.  It makes perfect sense to me that I would have to go through the same process too, but still, I always feel a sense of frustration that the process isn’t much faster.

This frustration can drive us in 2 directions.  First, it can cause us to remember that it will take time to achieve mastery of the challenge we seek, and commit ourselves to putting in that time, or it can cause us to give up and walk away, without giving the process a chance to work.

As for me, I’m deciding to commit to the process.  Not just with the electric bass, but with other areas of life that require time before I achieve the results I seek. 

Whatever area of improvement you’re striving for, be sure to give the process a chance to work.

Kind Words

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This week a work I received a very kind email from someone that I completed a task for.  They were very generous with their comments in appreciation for the job I did for them.  Their email was a pleasant surprise, and made my day that much brighter.

It got me thinking how we can bless other people by sharing kind words of genuine appreciation with them.  Whether these words are spoken verbally, sent electronically, or hand written, they have the potential to brighten someone else’s day in a way they might not have expected.

Let’s be on the lookout for opportunities speak/write kindness.  And when we recognize an opportunity, let’s take advantage of it by liberally dispensing kind words to others.

Find Out For Sure

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One thing my wife and I like to do is visit farm/fruit stands and mills that grind their own grains.  On Friday we went to visit a mill that we had found online in a nearby town.  When we showed up the place looked like a warehouse and not some place that would sell grains and flour to the public.  It would have been easy to drive off, thinking they didn’t sell to walk up customers, had my wife not said, “Let’s go in and find out.”  I’m glad she suggested we find out for sure!

When we went in and asked if they sold to the public, we were introduced to Polly, who generously told us about the different kinds of grains, flour, and even pasta that they had, and how best to use them!  She was extremely helpful and encouraged us to reach out if we had any questions about any of their product.

I tend to read situations and make judgements rather quickly.  (Ex. “This looks like a warehouse.  I’m sure they don’t sell to the public.”)   My wife, however, is more likely to challenge assumptions, situations, and judgements and take the attitude of, “Let’s find out for sure.” 

I’m grateful for this perspective.  Without it, we would have missed a fun experience, not to mention interacting with a nice person!

Be on the lookout for quick judgments or assumptions you making that make be incorrect, and then go find out for sure.

What People Are Carrying

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Earlier this week, my wife and I went to a presentation at our library on how the speaker was dealing with some grief and loss in his life through nature and being outside.  It was interesting to hear his story and how he was moving forward through his grief.  It also reminded me that I have no idea what the people I cross paths with on a daily basis are carrying.

Think about all the people you intersect with during a day: 

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Clients
  • Cashiers
  • Service providers
  • People in the car next to you
  • The person behind you in line at the grocery store
  • Neighbors

Each one of those people is likely carrying a burden.  Whether it’s something small or large doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that they are carrying something that we likely know nothing about.

The presentation at the library not only reminded me of this reality, it also reminded that there is more going on in people’s lives than I am usually aware of, and that I would do well to keep this in mind, and treat others with grace and compassion. 

A New Story

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As part of the work I do, I’m required to occasionally take proficiency exams related to the software we use.  Even though exams are multiple choice, they aren’t easy.  They require significant study and focus.  I usually do pretty good on multiple choice tests, but that wasn’t always the case.

Back in college, my multiple-test-taking-ability was not very good.  One of the main reasons why was because I use to tell myself, “I’m not any good at taking multiple choice tests.”  If I didn’t immediately know the answer to a question on a test, I’d usually just guess.  As you can imagine, this didn’t lead to great test scores.  It also reinforced the story I’ve been telling myself about how bad I was at test taking. 

When I first realized that exams would be a regular part of my tenure in my current position, I was worried.  Then I started thinking about why I was bad at test taking, and realized it wasn’t a sentence, but rather a story that could be changed.  So, I changed the story I was telling myself about my test taking abilities.  I started telling myself that, “I will easily pass tests on the first try because I will be prepared and will critically think about the answers I give, versus just guessing.”

Just like I became a poor test taker, because of the story I told myself in college, I have now become a good test taker who is prepared and easily passes because I decided to tell myself a different story about who I was.

Do you have story you’ve been telling yourself that hasn’t been serving you well?  If so, consider telling yourself a more encouraging story, and then start living into it.