relationships

Kind Words

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This week a work I received a very kind email from someone that I completed a task for.  They were very generous with their comments in appreciation for the job I did for them.  Their email was a pleasant surprise, and made my day that much brighter.

It got me thinking how we can bless other people by sharing kind words of genuine appreciation with them.  Whether these words are spoken verbally, sent electronically, or hand written, they have the potential to brighten someone else’s day in a way they might not have expected.

Let’s be on the lookout for opportunities speak/write kindness.  And when we recognize an opportunity, let’s take advantage of it by liberally dispensing kind words to others.

When It’s Someone You Know

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One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

What Made It Great

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Before I left on a fishing trip to Alaska last week, my wife asked me an interesting question: “What would make this a great trip?”  One could argue that the number and size of the fish we caught would make the trip great.  Perhaps coupling the catch with good weather would also be a good metric for the greatness of a trip.  My response, however had nothing to do with the fish or weather. 

Numbers and size of fish in Alaska are kind of a given.  That’s why people go there to fish.  There’s not much you can do to control the weather, so it seems strange to make that a barometer for greatness.  My answer was, to deepen relationships and create fun memories with the friends I went with, and to connect with the other people that would be there as well.

I’m happy to report that both things happened.  It was fun building memories with my friends over an activity we all like to do.  In addition, the other visitors at the lodge were enjoyable people and fun to connect with over coffee/tea before breakfast, dinner, and while on the rivers fishing.  It’s amazing to me how people who are total strangers one week, can have connection and several good memories the following week!

I’m always encouraged by how much similarity and connection we have with others when we spend time getting to know them.  It’s fun getting to know people and to have others get to know you as well.

When my wife picked me up at the airport, she asked, “How was your trip?”  To which I replied, “It was a GREAT trip!” 

Reaching Back

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This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with.  As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about.  I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.

It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience.  Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.

With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have. 

They’re Not Worthless

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I was having a conversation this week regarding someone’s professional performance.  Truthfully, their performance appears to be below standards with regard to follow through and customer service.  The person I was having this conversation with said of the professional, “They’re worthless!”  I strongly disagreed, and stated why.

 As a Jesus-follower, I believe we are all made in the image of God, as scripture teaches.  That alone imbues each of us with a tremendous sense of worth.  While someone’s performance, in a certain area or in a particular instance, may be sub-par, that does NOT mean that the person themselves is worthless.

I’m trying to do a better job in my life of not just seeing people as worthwhile due to a set of attributes or character traits.  Rather, I’m working to see the value of people simply because they are fellow human beings.

Time Well Spent

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When my wife and I go away for a weekend, we usually like to get home around mid-afternoon on Sunday.  This gives us plenty of time to unpack, do chores, and ease into the upcoming workweek.  Last Sunday, we didn’t get home from our weekend away until 9:30 PM, and we’re glad we did.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we scheduled some time during our trip last weekend to see a friend on Sunday.  What was originally a couple hours together for lunch evolved into a whole day!  We all had a great day together that we will remember for many years.

If my wife and I were unwilling to deviate from our normal practice of getting home mid-afternoon, we would have missed an opportunity to spend a memorable day connecting with our friend.   We chose to spend our Sunday afternoon hours connecting, and it was time well spent.

Making Time

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My wife and I are going Ashland Oregon soon, to see some plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  We’ve been there before, and enjoy seeing the excellent plays the festival has.  This year, we’re making time for something different.

A friend of ours recently moved to the area, so we contacted them to see if they’d be interested in getting together while we’re there.  They’re interested, so we’ll be getting together with them.  We’re all looking forward to seeing each other.

For me, it’s easy to think, “We’re too busy” or “They’re probably too busy” and therefore not make time to spend with others.  However, my wife and I have both been working at making time for opportunities to connect with others.  Yes, it takes more work, but it has always proven to be worth it.  It reminds me that connection with others doesn’t just happen.  We need to make time for it.

What People Are Carrying

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Earlier this week, my wife and I went to a presentation at our library on how the speaker was dealing with some grief and loss in his life through nature and being outside.  It was interesting to hear his story and how he was moving forward through his grief.  It also reminded me that I have no idea what the people I cross paths with on a daily basis are carrying.

Think about all the people you intersect with during a day: 

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Clients
  • Cashiers
  • Service providers
  • People in the car next to you
  • The person behind you in line at the grocery store
  • Neighbors

Each one of those people is likely carrying a burden.  Whether it’s something small or large doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that they are carrying something that we likely know nothing about.

The presentation at the library not only reminded me of this reality, it also reminded that there is more going on in people’s lives than I am usually aware of, and that I would do well to keep this in mind, and treat others with grace and compassion. 

Being Aware

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This is the first year that the place I work is observing Juneteenth.  As I’ve learned more about what this holiday stands for, I’m reminded of the struggles and challenges that people have faced in the past.  I’m also reminded that most people around me are currently facing their own struggles and challenges today.

Think of all the people you cross paths with in a day.  Now consider the challenges they could be facing, that we aren’t even aware of.  A small list of possibilities might include:

  • Significant health issues
  • Trouble raising children
  • Financial concerns
  • Depression
  • Strained relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Physical limitations
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Loss of hope
  • Loss of control
  • Social injustice
  • Isolation
  • Greif of what is
  • Greif of what never will be
  • Broken dreams
  • Broken promises
  • Perceived lack of purpose
  • Perceived lack of worth
  • Perception that they would not be missed if they were not here

It’s quite possible that someone reading this post is facing one or more of the challenges above.  Perhaps even you.  If so, wouldn’t if be affirming to have someone acknowledge the challenge you’re facing, and to do so without judgement, condemnation, or pithy platitudes? 

Here’s the good news:  we can be that for other people.  We can acknowledge when others are struggling.  We can offer a kind word, or perhaps no words at all, and just an arm around your shoulder.  There may be times where action is required from us to assist someone with a challenge, but I think the best place to start is with understanding, compassion, and grace toward our fellow humans.

Isn’t that what we’d want from others? 

We Get To Decide

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Just a quick reminder this week, that we get to choose how we respond to events in our life. 

It’s easy to think that we can’t help ourselves, or to blame others (or our emotions) for how we respond to the stimulus in our life.  While we can blame, the truth is, we get to decide how we respond.

Let’s decide, and then follow through, on making good choices.