kindness

What People Are Carrying

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Earlier this week, my wife and I went to a presentation at our library on how the speaker was dealing with some grief and loss in his life through nature and being outside.  It was interesting to hear his story and how he was moving forward through his grief.  It also reminded me that I have no idea what the people I cross paths with on a daily basis are carrying.

Think about all the people you intersect with during a day: 

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Clients
  • Cashiers
  • Service providers
  • People in the car next to you
  • The person behind you in line at the grocery store
  • Neighbors

Each one of those people is likely carrying a burden.  Whether it’s something small or large doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that they are carrying something that we likely know nothing about.

The presentation at the library not only reminded me of this reality, it also reminded that there is more going on in people’s lives than I am usually aware of, and that I would do well to keep this in mind, and treat others with grace and compassion. 

Being Aware

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This is the first year that the place I work is observing Juneteenth.  As I’ve learned more about what this holiday stands for, I’m reminded of the struggles and challenges that people have faced in the past.  I’m also reminded that most people around me are currently facing their own struggles and challenges today.

Think of all the people you cross paths with in a day.  Now consider the challenges they could be facing, that we aren’t even aware of.  A small list of possibilities might include:

  • Significant health issues
  • Trouble raising children
  • Financial concerns
  • Depression
  • Strained relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Physical limitations
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Loss of hope
  • Loss of control
  • Social injustice
  • Isolation
  • Greif of what is
  • Greif of what never will be
  • Broken dreams
  • Broken promises
  • Perceived lack of purpose
  • Perceived lack of worth
  • Perception that they would not be missed if they were not here

It’s quite possible that someone reading this post is facing one or more of the challenges above.  Perhaps even you.  If so, wouldn’t if be affirming to have someone acknowledge the challenge you’re facing, and to do so without judgement, condemnation, or pithy platitudes? 

Here’s the good news:  we can be that for other people.  We can acknowledge when others are struggling.  We can offer a kind word, or perhaps no words at all, and just an arm around your shoulder.  There may be times where action is required from us to assist someone with a challenge, but I think the best place to start is with understanding, compassion, and grace toward our fellow humans.

Isn’t that what we’d want from others? 

We Get To Decide

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Just a quick reminder this week, that we get to choose how we respond to events in our life. 

It’s easy to think that we can’t help ourselves, or to blame others (or our emotions) for how we respond to the stimulus in our life.  While we can blame, the truth is, we get to decide how we respond.

Let’s decide, and then follow through, on making good choices. 

Challenging But Worth It

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I’m going to talk about one of Jesus’s principles this week, so be warned.  If that’s not your thing, come back next week.  😊

“If you only love the loveable, do you expect a pat on the back?” Luke 6:30 Msg.

It’s easy to love those who love, us, or to be kind to people who are kind to us.  However, Jesus teaches that we’re also to be kind to those who aren’t kind to us.  And to love those who don’t love us.  This is challenging teaching.  It’s even more challenging to put into practice.

I’ve had the “opportunity” to put this teaching into practice with a couple of people for the past 11 months.  It has, indeed, been challenging, but I can also report that with prayer and commitment to Jesus’s teaching, it has gotten a little easier.  Not easy, just slightly easier that it was 11 months ago.

Jesus’s teaching is for our benefit, because he wants what’s best for us.  Following this particular principle has kept my heart from festering with disdain or hate toward others, and has instead caused me to regularly cast my gaze toward Jesus for his assistance, strength, and peace.  All of which I have received.

So, while it’s been challenging, I can also report that it’s been what’s best for me.  I have peace instead of anger, and gratitude for His teaching instead of animosity toward others.

It’s a nice place to be.

Lift Or Limit

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As I was journaling this morning, I was reminded how our self-talk can limit or lift how we see ourselves.  Think about that, the words you tell yourself, about yourself (whether audibly or simply thought), have a direct impact on how you feel and think about who you are.

Taking this thought a little further, what we think/feel, about ourselves, will influence our actions.  And, the actions we consistently take are what shapes the lives we ultimately build for ourselves.

The question that feels like it needs to be asked is, “Do you like what you’ve built?” 

If your answer is, “Yes”, great!  However, if your answer is, “No”, it might be reflecting on you’ve talking to yourself to discern if there’s any negative thoughts or talk you’ve regularly had with yourself.

It might even be time to start a new, positive conversation with yourself… because you’re worth it.

A Changed Perspective

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Last night my wife and I went to a presentation/story telling session on homelessness in our community.  There were 4 different people, that either were, or currently are, experiencing homelessness.  It was an eye-opening look at homelessness from the perspective of people who have (or are) living it.

The first person to speak said that the 2 primary causes of homelessness are a lack of empathy (the feeling that no one cares or understands) and/or broken relationship.  The other speakers, knowing it or not, confirmed this statement through their stories about how they became homeless. 

If you would have asked me before the presentation, what I thought the 2 main causes of homelessness was, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have picked a lack of empathy or broken relationships.  I probably would have said something like drugs, or mental illness.  From what I heard last night, it seems like those things came a little further downstream. 

Suppose lack of empathy and broken relationships are, indeed, the primary causes of homelessness.  If so, doesn’t it seem like human connection and compassion would go a long way in preventing homelessness?  It seems like the most important place for these antidotes is in our homes, and with our families and friends.  It also seems like there are no boundaries with regard to where human connection and compassion would not be beneficial. 

The presentation not only changed my perspective on homelessness, it also gave me much to think about regarding what I do with what I heard.  I’m thankful that others are willing to share their story, in order to provide a perspective, I might not have. 

Follow Through On Intentions

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I was really impressed with something our pastor did in church last Sunday.  As I was reflecting on it later in the day I thought, “I should send him a hand-written note and tell him how much I appreciated what he did.”  That’s a good intention.  However, as the week got busier, I could feel my intention slipping to the back burner toward inaction.  If I didn’t do something, the likelihood that this intention would ever bloom into realized action, was not looking good.

So last night I just decided (and actually followed through) that I was not going to do anything else until I got the note written and put it in an addressed envelope with a stamp.  As I type this, the note is in the care of the USPS and on its way to the recipient. 

When we have a good intention, we should honor that intention by taking the necessary action to bring it to life.  Not only will be feel good about following through on our good intention, we’ll hopefully be blessing someone else as well.

Division

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Think, for a moment, of all the things that people can have differing opinions about.  The list is endless!  Topics range from volatile ones like pollical leaning and religion to more innocuous ones like music preference, being a morning or evening person, or your favorite flavor of ice cream. 

Now think of the people you know.  How many of them do you have the exact same opinions on every topic with?  Zero?  Yeah, me too.

With so many things to be divided over, it’s important that we are mindful of what we actually allow to drive wedges in our relationships.  Do we really want to shut someone down or vilify them over minor differences?  Do we really want our radars up looking for reasons to be divided, versus looking for what unites us?  Do we want others looking us with an eye toward division?

Leading with an eye toward division comes with a high price.  We miss out on opportunities to learn more about others.  In some cases, we drive wedges between those closest to over insignificant differences.  What a sad realization it would be to look back on such a life, and see all the division we’ve created, because all we were seeing were differences versus people.

A Quick Thought On Getting Along

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Lately, I’ve been reminded of the obvious truth that the success and happiness we experience in life is largely due to do with how well we are able to get along with other people.

This truth reminds me that how I treat people and interact with them matters.  If I want assistance, kindness, or grace from others, then I need to offer these things to those around me. 

It seems to me, from my experience on both the giving and receiving end, that life is much better when I’m getting along with fellow-Earthly-travelers, than when I lead with demanding my own way, or thinking that the world revolves around me.  It has been proven multiple times, that the world, indeed, does NOT revolve around me, or any other single person.

Getting along with others doesn’t mean that I default to capitulating what I want or need, simply for the sake of getting along.  Rather, I see it as being considerate of the needs of others, in addition to my own needs.

Isn’t that what we all want: for others to be considerate of us?  If that’s the case, let’s make sure we’re doing likewise for others.

The Most Beautiful Thing

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Last Friday evening, my wife and I were on a flight back from a week-long vacation in Boston, when I noticed the shape of a large man walking down the aisle.  As I looked up from my book, I was surprised, and captivated, by the scene I saw.

Securely cradled in this man’s arms was a 1-year-old baby boy (I talked to the man later, and he told me the boy’s age) who was sound asleep.  This dad was walking up and down the aisle of the airplane gently bouncing and rocking his sleeping son, in an effort to keep him soothed and comfortably asleep.  From the baby’s contentedly limp posture, I’d say this dad was doing an excellent job!

After watching this scene for several minutes, I nudged my wife and pointed out the scene to her.  After she saw it, I leaned over and said, “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all week.”

I’m always impressed by dads that are engaged in the lives of their young children.  We all hear stories of dead-beat dads or absentee fathers, so I’m especially awestruck when I see a dad who is shattering these aforementioned sub-par pictures of fatherhood. 

Here’s to all you dads out there who are actively and positively engaged in raising your kids.  Your children are blessed call you dad.