Healthy Lifestyle

We Choose

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We get to choose how we respond to what life throws at us.  There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with that statement.  Regardless of whether our response is good or bad, we are the ones who chose the response.

While it’s easy to take credit for our good choices, it’s not as fun to acknowledge that our poor choices are just that… our choices.  In these cases, it’s often easier to blame our poor choices on those things that shift responsibility away from us.  Have you ever shifted responsibility for your choices with one of these excuses:

  • If they hadn’t <insert someone else’s behavior>
  • If only <insert circumstance>
  • I just can’t help myself
  • I’m so <insert emotion> that don’t feel like <insert the choice you know you should make>
  • I get so <insert emotion> that I just <insert the choice you know you shouldn’t make>

With this responsibility come freedom.  We have the freedom to choose a response that would lead to a desired outcome versus letting our emotions choose for us.

Make An Effort First

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It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

Extending Silence

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Our church just got through a 21-day fasting exercise.  To participate, you decide on something to give up during the 21 days, in order to focus your attention on God.  For me, I decided to give up listening to podcasts and audiobook, except for the time at the gym in the morning.  It was a good practice, that I even decided to extend beyond the initial 21 days.

For the last several months, I’ve been working at being intentional about having moments of silence and solitude.  The reason I picked podcasts and audiobooks for our fasting exercise was because I have a habit of filling blank space.  Whether it’s while I’m doing choses, cooking, having breakfast, or any other time I’m not with someone, I would automatically put on a podcast or listen to an audiobook. 

While neither of these things are bad, I realized during the fast that amount of time I was listening to them was keeping me from moments of silence where I could just be, contemplate, or even pray.  Going without them for 21 days showed me what it was like to slow down and enjoy the moments of silence.

Even though the fast is over, I have still been intentional not to default to audiobooks and podcasts, but rather to be intentional about extending the silence I have been experiencing.  I think there’s room in my life for both.  I just need to make sure I don’t skew too much toward a lack of silence.

The Person We Become

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As 2024 approaches, and we start to think about goals and things we’d like to accomplish in the coming year, perhaps it would be good if we also spent some time thinking of the type of person we’d like to become in the new year. Perhaps when December 31, 2024 arrives, you’d like to be a person who:
  • Exercises daily
  • Saves a specified percentage of their income for retirement
  • Attends regularly attends church
  • Visits an aging parent once a month
  • Initiates outings with friends
  • Takes their child out to breakfast once a week to check in
  • Says “Yes” to new experiences and adventures
  • Reads X number of books a year
The list is endless as to the type of person we’d like to be.  However, what is important is deciding what type of person we want to be and take the steps monthly, weekly, and daily to become that kind of person on December 31, 2024. We’re going to become something by then end of 2024.  Let’s choose, by way of our behaviors, what kind of person we become versus waiting to see what kind of person we accidently turned in to.

We Choose

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We get to choose how we behave.  We choose how we conduct ourselves, the words we use, our attitude and our outlook.  Ultimately, all these choices we make form us into the people we become and the lives we create.

While it’s easy to say that, “They made me…” or “I just can’t help it”, or any other lame derivative of those statements, remember that we ultimately choose how we behave.

What kind of choices are you making?

Slowing Down

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Based on a recommendation, I recently started reading the book “Mindfulness” by Gill Hasson.  One thing I realized, even before finishing the book’s introduction, was that I would have to slow down when reading this book.

Even in my early reading of this book, I found myself re-reading sections, marking passages and making notes in the margin.  There are also parts that are good for reflection and journaling.  None of this would be possible if I didn’t slow down.  In the case, the object is not to turn pages as quickly as I can, but rather to get the most out of the book that I can apply in my life.

I think there are many instances where we would do well to slow down.  Perhaps we should slow down in our interactions with those important to us and actually listen to what they saying and be present in our conversations.  We could even throttle back our pace and take greater notice of our surroundings, noticing the beauty that becomes invisible at speed.

Are there any areas in your life where you might benefit from slowing down?  If so, give it a try.  You might just be surprised by what you notice.

When It’s Someone You Know

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One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

Reaching Back

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This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with.  As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about.  I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.

It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience.  Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.

With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have. 

They Can Both Be True

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We like black and white absolutes.  This is good and that is bad.  This person is nice, that person is mean. 

We like these absolutes because their easy to understand.  However, as you’ve probably notice, no everything is so black and what.  In fact, sometimes opposing realities can exist at the same time.

I have a friend whose dad passed away on Christmas day several years ago.  In his case, is Christmas day a good day or a bad day?  Is it a day to look forward to or a day to anticipate with grief.  Is it filled with joy or sadness.

The answer is, “Yes”.

Sometimes the comfort and certainty of black and white is replaced with diametrically opposite realities.  In my friend’s case, Christmas can be a day of great joy, while at the same time being a day of sadness and loss.     

I’ve found in my own life that it’s helpful to acknowledge scenarios when two or more opposite realities are true at the same time.  Beyond just acknowledging, it’s also helpful to learn to hold those 2 realities at the same time.  One doesn’t have to be true while the other is false.  They can both be true at the same time.