happiness

Having Each Other’s Back

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Last weekend as I was leaving the grocery store, I saw a man in the parking lot who had locked his key in his car, and was trying to retrieve them through his partially opened window.  From what I saw, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be successful.

I then noticed another person, who had also seen what was going on, walk up to the guy’s car and offer to help.  This person apparently had smaller arms than the owner of the car, because they were able to rather quickly retrieve the keys from the car.  Apparently, the car owner’s dog was also locked in the car, so I’m sure the dog was as happy to be set free as the owner was to have his keys!

Although this may seem to be a small act, I’ll bet the owner of the car didn’t think it was. 

Let’s be on the lookout for simple ways we can “have someone’s back” who needs assistance.  If we were in a similar situation, wouldn’t we want someone to have ours?

Kind Words

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This week a work I received a very kind email from someone that I completed a task for.  They were very generous with their comments in appreciation for the job I did for them.  Their email was a pleasant surprise, and made my day that much brighter.

It got me thinking how we can bless other people by sharing kind words of genuine appreciation with them.  Whether these words are spoken verbally, sent electronically, or hand written, they have the potential to brighten someone else’s day in a way they might not have expected.

Let’s be on the lookout for opportunities speak/write kindness.  And when we recognize an opportunity, let’s take advantage of it by liberally dispensing kind words to others.

When It’s Someone You Know

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One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

What Made It Great

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Before I left on a fishing trip to Alaska last week, my wife asked me an interesting question: “What would make this a great trip?”  One could argue that the number and size of the fish we caught would make the trip great.  Perhaps coupling the catch with good weather would also be a good metric for the greatness of a trip.  My response, however had nothing to do with the fish or weather. 

Numbers and size of fish in Alaska are kind of a given.  That’s why people go there to fish.  There’s not much you can do to control the weather, so it seems strange to make that a barometer for greatness.  My answer was, to deepen relationships and create fun memories with the friends I went with, and to connect with the other people that would be there as well.

I’m happy to report that both things happened.  It was fun building memories with my friends over an activity we all like to do.  In addition, the other visitors at the lodge were enjoyable people and fun to connect with over coffee/tea before breakfast, dinner, and while on the rivers fishing.  It’s amazing to me how people who are total strangers one week, can have connection and several good memories the following week!

I’m always encouraged by how much similarity and connection we have with others when we spend time getting to know them.  It’s fun getting to know people and to have others get to know you as well.

When my wife picked me up at the airport, she asked, “How was your trip?”  To which I replied, “It was a GREAT trip!” 

Reaching Back

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This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with.  As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about.  I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.

It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience.  Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.

With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have. 

They Can Both Be True

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We like black and white absolutes.  This is good and that is bad.  This person is nice, that person is mean. 

We like these absolutes because their easy to understand.  However, as you’ve probably notice, no everything is so black and what.  In fact, sometimes opposing realities can exist at the same time.

I have a friend whose dad passed away on Christmas day several years ago.  In his case, is Christmas day a good day or a bad day?  Is it a day to look forward to or a day to anticipate with grief.  Is it filled with joy or sadness.

The answer is, “Yes”.

Sometimes the comfort and certainty of black and white is replaced with diametrically opposite realities.  In my friend’s case, Christmas can be a day of great joy, while at the same time being a day of sadness and loss.     

I’ve found in my own life that it’s helpful to acknowledge scenarios when two or more opposite realities are true at the same time.  Beyond just acknowledging, it’s also helpful to learn to hold those 2 realities at the same time.  One doesn’t have to be true while the other is false.  They can both be true at the same time. 

They’re Not Worthless

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I was having a conversation this week regarding someone’s professional performance.  Truthfully, their performance appears to be below standards with regard to follow through and customer service.  The person I was having this conversation with said of the professional, “They’re worthless!”  I strongly disagreed, and stated why.

 As a Jesus-follower, I believe we are all made in the image of God, as scripture teaches.  That alone imbues each of us with a tremendous sense of worth.  While someone’s performance, in a certain area or in a particular instance, may be sub-par, that does NOT mean that the person themselves is worthless.

I’m trying to do a better job in my life of not just seeing people as worthwhile due to a set of attributes or character traits.  Rather, I’m working to see the value of people simply because they are fellow human beings.

Time Well Spent

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When my wife and I go away for a weekend, we usually like to get home around mid-afternoon on Sunday.  This gives us plenty of time to unpack, do chores, and ease into the upcoming workweek.  Last Sunday, we didn’t get home from our weekend away until 9:30 PM, and we’re glad we did.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we scheduled some time during our trip last weekend to see a friend on Sunday.  What was originally a couple hours together for lunch evolved into a whole day!  We all had a great day together that we will remember for many years.

If my wife and I were unwilling to deviate from our normal practice of getting home mid-afternoon, we would have missed an opportunity to spend a memorable day connecting with our friend.   We chose to spend our Sunday afternoon hours connecting, and it was time well spent.

Making Time

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My wife and I are going Ashland Oregon soon, to see some plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  We’ve been there before, and enjoy seeing the excellent plays the festival has.  This year, we’re making time for something different.

A friend of ours recently moved to the area, so we contacted them to see if they’d be interested in getting together while we’re there.  They’re interested, so we’ll be getting together with them.  We’re all looking forward to seeing each other.

For me, it’s easy to think, “We’re too busy” or “They’re probably too busy” and therefore not make time to spend with others.  However, my wife and I have both been working at making time for opportunities to connect with others.  Yes, it takes more work, but it has always proven to be worth it.  It reminds me that connection with others doesn’t just happen.  We need to make time for it.

Commit In Advance

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Cascade Head is an Oregon Coast hike I like to do once a month.  While beautiful, the hike has some sections that are steep which do a good job of getting your heart rate up.  It’s a great hike for ensuring that I stay in “hiking shape” throughout the year.

There is a section of this hike about half way up that has great views, as well as a nice place to sit in the grass and take in the scene.  After this point, the hike gets steep and proceeds to the summit, where the views are even better!  If it’s a good workout you’re after, you want to proceed to the summit.

Whenever I do this hike for the purpose of a workout, I commit that, absent any significant weather threat, I’m going all the way to the summit.  The reason I decide on the summit in advance is because I don’t want to wait until the half-way point to “see what I feel like”. 

Without first committing to the summit, it would be too easy to get to the halfway point and decide I don’t feel like proceeding further.  Lacking advance commitment, I could easily decide half way up, that things are “good enough”:  the view, the workout, my effort.  Unless I commit beforehand, seeing the remaining steep section could easily cause me “not to feel like” proceeding.

I think it’s like that with a lot in life.  Unless we make commitments in advance, we can easily be held back from long term satisfaction and achievement, based simply on how we feel in the moment.   Consistently “not feeling like it” can have a negative impact to our health, finances, relationships, career, faith, and outlook on life.

Is there any area in your life that you need to commit in advance to?  If so, make the commitment(s) you need to, and follow through.

Don’t hold yourself back!