We Choose

We get to choose how we respond to what life throws at us.  There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with that statement.  Regardless of whether our response is good or bad, we are the ones who chose the response.

While it’s easy to take credit for our good choices, it’s not as fun to acknowledge that our poor choices are just that… our choices.  In these cases, it’s often easier to blame our poor choices on those things that shift responsibility away from us.  Have you ever shifted responsibility for your choices with one of these excuses:

  • If they hadn’t <insert someone else’s behavior>
  • If only <insert circumstance>
  • I just can’t help myself
  • I’m so <insert emotion> that don’t feel like <insert the choice you know you should make>
  • I get so <insert emotion> that I just <insert the choice you know you shouldn’t make>

With this responsibility come freedom.  We have the freedom to choose a response that would lead to a desired outcome versus letting our emotions choose for us.

Make An Effort First

It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

That’s OK

I have not made a blog post for the last 2 weeks… and that’s ok.

Since January 2013, I’ve been posting weekly to this blog.  I like the process of having an idea, thinking on it, and organizing that thought into a weekly post. I especially like how this process has improved my thinking, writing, and aided in my personal development.

As a result, I’ve been hesitant to skip a week because I didn’t want to “break the chain”.  The past 2 weeks, however, I intentionally decided not to write a post in order to free up some time to focus on other things.

I admit, it felt strange not to write those posts, but I also realized that it’s ok to skip a week (or 2) to make room in my schedule.

The point of this week’s post is to say that sometimes the right thing to do is to say, “No” to something good and productive, in order to say, “Yes” to something more pressing. 

Sometimes we need to say, “No”, and that’s ok.

Change Gears

This week I was working on a project that just wasn’t coming together.  The task I was trying to complete became a problem solve to solve.  I worked for the better part of a day on it and still wasn’t having much success.  While I am confident I’ll find a solution, I decided it was time to change gears.

Since I was stuck on this particular task, I decided to change gears and focus on another task that involved a slightly different skillset.  It was great, because I able to make some great headway on this part of the project, while letting my subconscious work on the other task I was having trouble with.

Sometimes I find it’s helpful to focus on something else, instead of continuing to head down a dead end.  Pointing our mind in a new direction can help us gain some success and hopefully come back to the challenging task with a fresh mind ready to solve the problem.

I’m eager to see how this works for me.

Waiting For Perfect

I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of “waiting for perfect” before making a decision.  Perhaps we were waiting for the perfect scenario, circumstance, job, opportunity, or even person to show up before we committed to taking action.   In some cases, we might even be waiting for perfect from ourselves. 

This will come as no surprise: if we’re delaying action while we wait for perfect to arrive, we’ll be waiting a long time.

A better choice might be to consider good enough for now.

No, I’m not telling you to make bad choices, or to say “Yes” to dangerous or harmful people or things.  What I am suggesting is lifting the expectation of perfection in everything, and considering the very good possibilities that are now available.  You’ll find there are far more very good options than perfect ones.    

Illuminating Words of Encouragement

Our Sunday School class was having a group text conversation this week, encouraging one of our younger people, who is getting ready for some upcoming job interviews.  It was nice to hear those in the class, who have been in the workforce for decades, sharing their wisdom and encouragement. 

I always appreciate wisdom and encouragement from those who have gone somewhere before me.  Their words are like a bright flashlight illuminating an otherwise dark path. 

I am grateful for the illuminating words of encouragement from others.

Extending Silence

Our church just got through a 21-day fasting exercise.  To participate, you decide on something to give up during the 21 days, in order to focus your attention on God.  For me, I decided to give up listening to podcasts and audiobook, except for the time at the gym in the morning.  It was a good practice, that I even decided to extend beyond the initial 21 days.

For the last several months, I’ve been working at being intentional about having moments of silence and solitude.  The reason I picked podcasts and audiobooks for our fasting exercise was because I have a habit of filling blank space.  Whether it’s while I’m doing choses, cooking, having breakfast, or any other time I’m not with someone, I would automatically put on a podcast or listen to an audiobook. 

While neither of these things are bad, I realized during the fast that amount of time I was listening to them was keeping me from moments of silence where I could just be, contemplate, or even pray.  Going without them for 21 days showed me what it was like to slow down and enjoy the moments of silence.

Even though the fast is over, I have still been intentional not to default to audiobooks and podcasts, but rather to be intentional about extending the silence I have been experiencing.  I think there’s room in my life for both.  I just need to make sure I don’t skew too much toward a lack of silence.

Being Reminded By Music

I was listening to a Spotify playlist at work this week when the song One Look by Alexis Ffrench featuring Leona Lewis came on.  It was a beautiful song about long-lasting love that came to an end at (I assumed) the passing of one of the people.  It’s one of those songs that left a mark long after it was over.

One Look reminded me of the inevitable end to the time I have with the people I love, especially with my wife.  It reminds me not to get frustrated by small insignificant things that seem like a a bigger deal in the moment than they really are.  It reminds me to choose to put love into action, which for me looks like 1 Cor 13. 

That’s one of my favorite things about music: how it can speak right to your heart and offer reminders, encouragement, or overwhelm you with gratitude.  I am grateful to have been reminded by music this week.

Something Different

The next time you’re trying to decide where to go out to eat, what movie to go see, or what to do over the weekend, perhaps consider trying something different.

It’s easy to default to the familiar or the “safe” choice, but new adventures, and perhaps new favorites, are potentially on the other side of a decision to try something different.

The Person We Become

As 2024 approaches, and we start to think about goals and things we’d like to accomplish in the coming year, perhaps it would be good if we also spent some time thinking of the type of person we’d like to become in the new year. Perhaps when December 31, 2024 arrives, you’d like to be a person who:
  • Exercises daily
  • Saves a specified percentage of their income for retirement
  • Attends regularly attends church
  • Visits an aging parent once a month
  • Initiates outings with friends
  • Takes their child out to breakfast once a week to check in
  • Says “Yes” to new experiences and adventures
  • Reads X number of books a year
The list is endless as to the type of person we’d like to be.  However, what is important is deciding what type of person we want to be and take the steps monthly, weekly, and daily to become that kind of person on December 31, 2024. We’re going to become something by then end of 2024.  Let’s choose, by way of our behaviors, what kind of person we become versus waiting to see what kind of person we accidently turned in to.