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Now We Have A Deadline

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For years, my wife and I have been saying that we need to get a will done.  It’s one of those things that’s extremely important, not super urgent (that we know of!), and is easy to put off.  We finally connected with a professional to help us.  One thing I appreciate, is that we have a day on the calendar when we will sign off on the completed document.  Now we have a deadline.

While we still have some work to do, having a “complete-by-date” on the calendar is just the motivation (and accountability) we need to ensure that we’ll see this task to completion! 

If you’re struggling to complete a task that you know needs to be done, consider creating a real deadline.  What would be even better, would be to link that deadline to someone who will hold you accountable.

Sometimes a date on the calendar is all the motivation you need.   

Cause It To Happen

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By the time this blog is posted, I’ll be back from a trip to the San Juan islands in Washington state.  This is some place we’ve wanted to go for many years, but other destinations have always taken priority.  This year however, we decided to make it a priority and pay a visit. 

I’m amazed by how many cool places are in our back yard (relatively speaking) that we haven’t seen yet.  I’m also amazed how easily these places can be deprioritized simply because they are so close.  Like most things, it takes intention to actually get to them. 

Is there anything that is relatively close to you (geographically or otherwise) that you’d like to experience that you haven’t yet?  Perhaps now is the time to cause it to happen.

Give The Process A Chance To Work

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I just got through spending time learning new riffs on the electric bass.  Learning a new riff is often frustrating for me because when I listen to someone playing the riff I’m trying to learn, it seems so easy.  Then I start playing it and I’m no where as smooth crisp as the recording I’m listening to.  For some reason I feel that I should be able to pick the riff up in just a couple of minutes, and play it as good as the person on the recording. 

HA!  That NEVER happens!

What I don’t see or hear in the recordings is all the practice that the person put with the riff in order to play it so well.  I’m just seeing the finished product, without any mention of the process to get to that point.  It makes perfect sense to me that I would have to go through the same process too, but still, I always feel a sense of frustration that the process isn’t much faster.

This frustration can drive us in 2 directions.  First, it can cause us to remember that it will take time to achieve mastery of the challenge we seek, and commit ourselves to putting in that time, or it can cause us to give up and walk away, without giving the process a chance to work.

As for me, I’m deciding to commit to the process.  Not just with the electric bass, but with other areas of life that require time before I achieve the results I seek. 

Whatever area of improvement you’re striving for, be sure to give the process a chance to work.

Slowing Down

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Based on a recommendation, I recently started reading the book “Mindfulness” by Gill Hasson.  One thing I realized, even before finishing the book’s introduction, was that I would have to slow down when reading this book.

Even in my early reading of this book, I found myself re-reading sections, marking passages and making notes in the margin.  There are also parts that are good for reflection and journaling.  None of this would be possible if I didn’t slow down.  In the case, the object is not to turn pages as quickly as I can, but rather to get the most out of the book that I can apply in my life.

I think there are many instances where we would do well to slow down.  Perhaps we should slow down in our interactions with those important to us and actually listen to what they saying and be present in our conversations.  We could even throttle back our pace and take greater notice of our surroundings, noticing the beauty that becomes invisible at speed.

Are there any areas in your life where you might benefit from slowing down?  If so, give it a try.  You might just be surprised by what you notice.

When It’s Someone You Know

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One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

Reaching Back

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This week at work, I had the opportunity to help a colleague use some software that I am very familiar with.  As I was helping him, I thought about my own journey, when I was learning what he was currently asking about.  I felt grateful to be able to help a colleague.

It’s important to remember our early struggles to gain experience.  Whether it’s being an adult, starting out in a career, marriage, parenthood, or just life in general, we’ve all gained some experience that someone coming behind us would be interested acquiring.

With that in mind, let’s be eager to share our experience with those who are seeking assistance, and can benefit from the experience we have. 

Making Time

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My wife and I are going Ashland Oregon soon, to see some plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.  We’ve been there before, and enjoy seeing the excellent plays the festival has.  This year, we’re making time for something different.

A friend of ours recently moved to the area, so we contacted them to see if they’d be interested in getting together while we’re there.  They’re interested, so we’ll be getting together with them.  We’re all looking forward to seeing each other.

For me, it’s easy to think, “We’re too busy” or “They’re probably too busy” and therefore not make time to spend with others.  However, my wife and I have both been working at making time for opportunities to connect with others.  Yes, it takes more work, but it has always proven to be worth it.  It reminds me that connection with others doesn’t just happen.  We need to make time for it.

Commit In Advance

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Cascade Head is an Oregon Coast hike I like to do once a month.  While beautiful, the hike has some sections that are steep which do a good job of getting your heart rate up.  It’s a great hike for ensuring that I stay in “hiking shape” throughout the year.

There is a section of this hike about half way up that has great views, as well as a nice place to sit in the grass and take in the scene.  After this point, the hike gets steep and proceeds to the summit, where the views are even better!  If it’s a good workout you’re after, you want to proceed to the summit.

Whenever I do this hike for the purpose of a workout, I commit that, absent any significant weather threat, I’m going all the way to the summit.  The reason I decide on the summit in advance is because I don’t want to wait until the half-way point to “see what I feel like”. 

Without first committing to the summit, it would be too easy to get to the halfway point and decide I don’t feel like proceeding further.  Lacking advance commitment, I could easily decide half way up, that things are “good enough”:  the view, the workout, my effort.  Unless I commit beforehand, seeing the remaining steep section could easily cause me “not to feel like” proceeding.

I think it’s like that with a lot in life.  Unless we make commitments in advance, we can easily be held back from long term satisfaction and achievement, based simply on how we feel in the moment.   Consistently “not feeling like it” can have a negative impact to our health, finances, relationships, career, faith, and outlook on life.

Is there any area in your life that you need to commit in advance to?  If so, make the commitment(s) you need to, and follow through.

Don’t hold yourself back!

What People Are Carrying

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Earlier this week, my wife and I went to a presentation at our library on how the speaker was dealing with some grief and loss in his life through nature and being outside.  It was interesting to hear his story and how he was moving forward through his grief.  It also reminded me that I have no idea what the people I cross paths with on a daily basis are carrying.

Think about all the people you intersect with during a day: 

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Clients
  • Cashiers
  • Service providers
  • People in the car next to you
  • The person behind you in line at the grocery store
  • Neighbors

Each one of those people is likely carrying a burden.  Whether it’s something small or large doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that they are carrying something that we likely know nothing about.

The presentation at the library not only reminded me of this reality, it also reminded that there is more going on in people’s lives than I am usually aware of, and that I would do well to keep this in mind, and treat others with grace and compassion. 

A New Story

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As part of the work I do, I’m required to occasionally take proficiency exams related to the software we use.  Even though exams are multiple choice, they aren’t easy.  They require significant study and focus.  I usually do pretty good on multiple choice tests, but that wasn’t always the case.

Back in college, my multiple-test-taking-ability was not very good.  One of the main reasons why was because I use to tell myself, “I’m not any good at taking multiple choice tests.”  If I didn’t immediately know the answer to a question on a test, I’d usually just guess.  As you can imagine, this didn’t lead to great test scores.  It also reinforced the story I’ve been telling myself about how bad I was at test taking. 

When I first realized that exams would be a regular part of my tenure in my current position, I was worried.  Then I started thinking about why I was bad at test taking, and realized it wasn’t a sentence, but rather a story that could be changed.  So, I changed the story I was telling myself about my test taking abilities.  I started telling myself that, “I will easily pass tests on the first try because I will be prepared and will critically think about the answers I give, versus just guessing.”

Just like I became a poor test taker, because of the story I told myself in college, I have now become a good test taker who is prepared and easily passes because I decided to tell myself a different story about who I was.

Do you have story you’ve been telling yourself that hasn’t been serving you well?  If so, consider telling yourself a more encouraging story, and then start living into it.