Extending Silence

Our church just got through a 21-day fasting exercise.  To participate, you decide on something to give up during the 21 days, in order to focus your attention on God.  For me, I decided to give up listening to podcasts and audiobook, except for the time at the gym in the morning.  It was a good practice, that I even decided to extend beyond the initial 21 days.

For the last several months, I’ve been working at being intentional about having moments of silence and solitude.  The reason I picked podcasts and audiobooks for our fasting exercise was because I have a habit of filling blank space.  Whether it’s while I’m doing choses, cooking, having breakfast, or any other time I’m not with someone, I would automatically put on a podcast or listen to an audiobook. 

While neither of these things are bad, I realized during the fast that amount of time I was listening to them was keeping me from moments of silence where I could just be, contemplate, or even pray.  Going without them for 21 days showed me what it was like to slow down and enjoy the moments of silence.

Even though the fast is over, I have still been intentional not to default to audiobooks and podcasts, but rather to be intentional about extending the silence I have been experiencing.  I think there’s room in my life for both.  I just need to make sure I don’t skew too much toward a lack of silence.

At a restaurant last weekend, I noticed a party of 4 (2 couples) get seated at a table near us.  Almost immediately after they were seated, one of the people pulled out their cell phone, propped it up, and began watching a football game.   Occasionally, this person would say something to other people at the table, but after they made their comment, their focus would return right back to their phone.

Wait, it gets better.

When half time arrived, this same person took an incoming call and began talking about the first half of the game with whomever called.  It was frustrating to watch.  I can imagine how unseen and unimportant this person’s dinner guests must have felt.  It never feels good to come in second place to a cell phone.

For me, I would much rather have a friend be honest and say something like, “Hey would you mind if we rescheduled dinner?  There’s a big game on that I’d really like to see, and I want to be present when we all go out to dinner together.” That would be so much better than to show up and have a friend tell you, through their actions, “I know you’re right in front of me, but right now, this game is more important to me than connecting with you.” 

The interaction I saw reminded me of the importance of being present with people, especially when we set aside time to be with them and connect with them.  To do otherwise is to send a message (perhaps unintentionally) that they aren’t that important to us.

Being Reminded By Music

I was listening to a Spotify playlist at work this week when the song One Look by Alexis Ffrench featuring Leona Lewis came on.  It was a beautiful song about long-lasting love that came to an end at (I assumed) the passing of one of the people.  It’s one of those songs that left a mark long after it was over.

One Look reminded me of the inevitable end to the time I have with the people I love, especially with my wife.  It reminds me not to get frustrated by small insignificant things that seem like a a bigger deal in the moment than they really are.  It reminds me to choose to put love into action, which for me looks like 1 Cor 13. 

That’s one of my favorite things about music: how it can speak right to your heart and offer reminders, encouragement, or overwhelm you with gratitude.  I am grateful to have been reminded by music this week.

Something Different

The next time you’re trying to decide where to go out to eat, what movie to go see, or what to do over the weekend, perhaps consider trying something different.

It’s easy to default to the familiar or the “safe” choice, but new adventures, and perhaps new favorites, are potentially on the other side of a decision to try something different.

The Person We Become

As 2024 approaches, and we start to think about goals and things we’d like to accomplish in the coming year, perhaps it would be good if we also spent some time thinking of the type of person we’d like to become in the new year. Perhaps when December 31, 2024 arrives, you’d like to be a person who:
  • Exercises daily
  • Saves a specified percentage of their income for retirement
  • Attends regularly attends church
  • Visits an aging parent once a month
  • Initiates outings with friends
  • Takes their child out to breakfast once a week to check in
  • Says “Yes” to new experiences and adventures
  • Reads X number of books a year
The list is endless as to the type of person we’d like to be.  However, what is important is deciding what type of person we want to be and take the steps monthly, weekly, and daily to become that kind of person on December 31, 2024. We’re going to become something by then end of 2024.  Let’s choose, by way of our behaviors, what kind of person we become versus waiting to see what kind of person we accidently turned in to.

Building A Life

“The way you live your days is the way you live your life.”   ~Annie Dillard

This quote causes me to look at my life from both a macro and a micro level and assess whether the things I’m doing on a daily basis are moving me closer to or further away from the life I want to live.

When observing from a macro level, I think of the words I would use to describe my life.  Would I use words like chaotic, stressful, and uninspiring, or would I use words more like joyful, growing, and energizing?  This zoomed-out perspective provides me with a state-of-my-life assessment.  Whether I’m happy with the assessment or disappointed by it, I can simply zoom in and look at how I’m living each day.

If I like the state of my life, I can identify daily consistencies that cause this outcome, and make sure those are a regular part of my days.  Likewise, I can also identify daily behaviors and/or actions that, if left to compound, could negatively impact my life.  Once identified, I can eliminate or change these behaviors. 

That’s the most encouraging part to me:  we can make changes!  Our lives are the sum of the days we live.  If we don’t like the assessment of our lives, we can change how we live each day.  While these changes are not always easy, they are ours to make. 

Let’s make sure that we’re living our days in a manner consistent with the life we desire.

Looking Into The Future

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.”  ~Unknown

Have you ever wished that you could see into the future?  If so, take a look at your daily habits.  They are a strong indicator of what your future
will look like.

Do you habitually complain, look for the negative, and see
the worst in people, or do you rejoice, look for the positive and see the best
in people?  One set of behaviors will likely
lead to a future of frustration, disappointment, and anger, while the other set
indicates a future of contentment, peace, and joy.

Give some thought to your daily habits and ponder about the
kind of future they’re leading you toward. 
If you want to change your future, change what you do every day.



Noticing

Here in the Pacific Northwest the Thanksgiving weekend is shaping up to be sunny and cool, with temperatures in the 50s. The skies are a bright blue, and the lingering fall colors are a wonderful display of bright reds, oranges, and yellows. It’s a beautiful scene!

I’m well aware that the gray rainy days that define this part of the country are not far away. With that thought in mind, I want to make sure that I’m not only taking advantage of these sunny days, but also stopping and actually noticing them. It’s far too easy to get tunnel vision and focus only on our routines and daily tasks and miss the beauty that’s happening around us.

Whether it’s a beautiful day or the people around you, take time to slow down and actually notice them as the main even versus simply background displays or noise. There’s much to be noticed and appreciated by those who slow down enough to see it.

Now We Have A Deadline

For years, my wife and I have been saying that we need to get a will done.  It’s one of those things that’s extremely important, not super urgent (that we know of!), and is easy to put off.  We finally connected with a professional to help us.  One thing I appreciate, is that we have a day on the calendar when we will sign off on the completed document.  Now we have a deadline.

While we still have some work to do, having a “complete-by-date” on the calendar is just the motivation (and accountability) we need to ensure that we’ll see this task to completion! 

If you’re struggling to complete a task that you know needs to be done, consider creating a real deadline.  What would be even better, would be to link that deadline to someone who will hold you accountable.

Sometimes a date on the calendar is all the motivation you need.