conversation

Illuminating Words of Encouragement

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Our Sunday School class was having a group text conversation this week, encouraging one of our younger people, who is getting ready for some upcoming job interviews.  It was nice to hear those in the class, who have been in the workforce for decades, sharing their wisdom and encouragement. 

I always appreciate wisdom and encouragement from those who have gone somewhere before me.  Their words are like a bright flashlight illuminating an otherwise dark path. 

I am grateful for the illuminating words of encouragement from others.

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At a restaurant last weekend, I noticed a party of 4 (2 couples) get seated at a table near us.  Almost immediately after they were seated, one of the people pulled out their cell phone, propped it up, and began watching a football game.   Occasionally, this person would say something to other people at the table, but after they made their comment, their focus would return right back to their phone.

Wait, it gets better.

When half time arrived, this same person took an incoming call and began talking about the first half of the game with whomever called.  It was frustrating to watch.  I can imagine how unseen and unimportant this person’s dinner guests must have felt.  It never feels good to come in second place to a cell phone.

For me, I would much rather have a friend be honest and say something like, “Hey would you mind if we rescheduled dinner?  There’s a big game on that I’d really like to see, and I want to be present when we all go out to dinner together.” That would be so much better than to show up and have a friend tell you, through their actions, “I know you’re right in front of me, but right now, this game is more important to me than connecting with you.” 

The interaction I saw reminded me of the importance of being present with people, especially when we set aside time to be with them and connect with them.  To do otherwise is to send a message (perhaps unintentionally) that they aren’t that important to us.

Slowing Down

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Based on a recommendation, I recently started reading the book “Mindfulness” by Gill Hasson.  One thing I realized, even before finishing the book’s introduction, was that I would have to slow down when reading this book.

Even in my early reading of this book, I found myself re-reading sections, marking passages and making notes in the margin.  There are also parts that are good for reflection and journaling.  None of this would be possible if I didn’t slow down.  In the case, the object is not to turn pages as quickly as I can, but rather to get the most out of the book that I can apply in my life.

I think there are many instances where we would do well to slow down.  Perhaps we should slow down in our interactions with those important to us and actually listen to what they saying and be present in our conversations.  We could even throttle back our pace and take greater notice of our surroundings, noticing the beauty that becomes invisible at speed.

Are there any areas in your life where you might benefit from slowing down?  If so, give it a try.  You might just be surprised by what you notice.

Kind Words

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This week a work I received a very kind email from someone that I completed a task for.  They were very generous with their comments in appreciation for the job I did for them.  Their email was a pleasant surprise, and made my day that much brighter.

It got me thinking how we can bless other people by sharing kind words of genuine appreciation with them.  Whether these words are spoken verbally, sent electronically, or hand written, they have the potential to brighten someone else’s day in a way they might not have expected.

Let’s be on the lookout for opportunities speak/write kindness.  And when we recognize an opportunity, let’s take advantage of it by liberally dispensing kind words to others.

When It’s Someone You Know

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One of the values at my church is personal connection with others.  The saying that goes along with this value is, “Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.”  I’ve found that to be true.

Our experiences shape our worldview, which makes sense.  However, our worldview is limited when seen strictly through the lens of our own experience.   When I connect with others and learn about their experiences, and hear their story, my worldview can change.  I can be changed in how I see the world based on someone else’s experience.

I have never been depressed, or homeless.  I have never been a parent or suffered with anxiety.  I have never owned a business or been responsible for making payroll.  But I know people who have, who have shared their experiences with me.  My thinking has changed on many topics as a result of knowing people and their experience. 

What a great way to broaden our worldview!  By seeing and connecting with people, we can learn how others experiencing the world around them, and possibly gain an understanding we didn’t have before.

Because everything changes when it’s someone you know.

We Get To Decide

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Just a quick reminder this week, that we get to choose how we respond to events in our life. 

It’s easy to think that we can’t help ourselves, or to blame others (or our emotions) for how we respond to the stimulus in our life.  While we can blame, the truth is, we get to decide how we respond.

Let’s decide, and then follow through, on making good choices. 

Lift Or Limit

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As I was journaling this morning, I was reminded how our self-talk can limit or lift how we see ourselves.  Think about that, the words you tell yourself, about yourself (whether audibly or simply thought), have a direct impact on how you feel and think about who you are.

Taking this thought a little further, what we think/feel, about ourselves, will influence our actions.  And, the actions we consistently take are what shapes the lives we ultimately build for ourselves.

The question that feels like it needs to be asked is, “Do you like what you’ve built?” 

If your answer is, “Yes”, great!  However, if your answer is, “No”, it might be reflecting on you’ve talking to yourself to discern if there’s any negative thoughts or talk you’ve regularly had with yourself.

It might even be time to start a new, positive conversation with yourself… because you’re worth it.

A Changed Perspective

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Last night my wife and I went to a presentation/story telling session on homelessness in our community.  There were 4 different people, that either were, or currently are, experiencing homelessness.  It was an eye-opening look at homelessness from the perspective of people who have (or are) living it.

The first person to speak said that the 2 primary causes of homelessness are a lack of empathy (the feeling that no one cares or understands) and/or broken relationship.  The other speakers, knowing it or not, confirmed this statement through their stories about how they became homeless. 

If you would have asked me before the presentation, what I thought the 2 main causes of homelessness was, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have picked a lack of empathy or broken relationships.  I probably would have said something like drugs, or mental illness.  From what I heard last night, it seems like those things came a little further downstream. 

Suppose lack of empathy and broken relationships are, indeed, the primary causes of homelessness.  If so, doesn’t it seem like human connection and compassion would go a long way in preventing homelessness?  It seems like the most important place for these antidotes is in our homes, and with our families and friends.  It also seems like there are no boundaries with regard to where human connection and compassion would not be beneficial. 

The presentation not only changed my perspective on homelessness, it also gave me much to think about regarding what I do with what I heard.  I’m thankful that others are willing to share their story, in order to provide a perspective, I might not have. 

Thinking With Others  

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 “None of us is as smart as all of us.”  ~Ken Blanchard

I’m working on a data visualization project at work with another person who also has a background in data.  After I first meeting, I knew I was going to like working with this person.

For starters, they had ideas about what they wanted to see in the visualization, and the questions they were hoping the visualization would answer.  What really impressed me about this person was that they were also willing to have their ideas built upon.

They’d throw and idea out, then I’d come back with and idea to build the idea they had proposed, and vice versa.  The end result of this “idea tennis match” was that we came up with some great visuals that will be useful for the folks in our organization that will ultimately consume this data.  In addition, it was fun to challenge each other with new thoughts.

I think it’s important to keep Ken Blanchard’s quote in mind, as well as keeping ourselves open to having our ideas stretched by other people.  Doing so exposes our ideas to the potential of becoming great ideas.

Getting Our Facts Straight

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Have you ever learned of a situation and reacted to it without exploring it further, only to find out that you would have been better served had you taken a moment to get your facts straight first?  Yeah, me too!  In fact, that happened to me just last weekend.

It’s so easy to get a partial story and immediately complete the rest of the story in our heads.  And it happens surprisingly fast too!  However, it usually doesn’t take that long to validate whether the story we’re telling ourselves is actually true. 

What I learned from last weekend was that I need to slow down and realize when I’m filling in my own details to a partial story I’ve been given.  Once I realize that I’m making assumptions, I need to do the work to determine whether they are true or not.

It’s a waste of time to react to a something that may not even be accurate.  Let’s commit to not wasting any more time reacting to our own assumptions, but instead make sure our facts are straight before we chart a course of action.  We’ll be better positioned to respond appropriately when we have a clear understanding of the scenario we’re dealing with.