character

Make An Effort First

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It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

That’s OK

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I have not made a blog post for the last 2 weeks… and that’s ok.

Since January 2013, I’ve been posting weekly to this blog.  I like the process of having an idea, thinking on it, and organizing that thought into a weekly post. I especially like how this process has improved my thinking, writing, and aided in my personal development.

As a result, I’ve been hesitant to skip a week because I didn’t want to “break the chain”.  The past 2 weeks, however, I intentionally decided not to write a post in order to free up some time to focus on other things.

I admit, it felt strange not to write those posts, but I also realized that it’s ok to skip a week (or 2) to make room in my schedule.

The point of this week’s post is to say that sometimes the right thing to do is to say, “No” to something good and productive, in order to say, “Yes” to something more pressing. 

Sometimes we need to say, “No”, and that’s ok.

Lifting and Being Lifted

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I like encouraging people.  Whether it’s through letters, email, text, phone, in person, or through prayer, I love lifting people up.  What I’ve also been embracing the last few years is to let other people lift me up as well, especially through prayer. 

What this looks like for me is letting those close to me know what’s going on in my life.  How can someone encourage you if they don’t know what you’re facing? 

I didn’t use to do this much because I didn’t want to burden people with what I was facing.  I’ve realized that when I keep my life close to the vest, I keep others from experiencing the joy they would receive from lifting me up.   

Illuminating Words of Encouragement

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Our Sunday School class was having a group text conversation this week, encouraging one of our younger people, who is getting ready for some upcoming job interviews.  It was nice to hear those in the class, who have been in the workforce for decades, sharing their wisdom and encouragement. 

I always appreciate wisdom and encouragement from those who have gone somewhere before me.  Their words are like a bright flashlight illuminating an otherwise dark path. 

I am grateful for the illuminating words of encouragement from others.

Being Reminded By Music

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I was listening to a Spotify playlist at work this week when the song One Look by Alexis Ffrench featuring Leona Lewis came on.  It was a beautiful song about long-lasting love that came to an end at (I assumed) the passing of one of the people.  It’s one of those songs that left a mark long after it was over.

One Look reminded me of the inevitable end to the time I have with the people I love, especially with my wife.  It reminds me not to get frustrated by small insignificant things that seem like a a bigger deal in the moment than they really are.  It reminds me to choose to put love into action, which for me looks like 1 Cor 13. 

That’s one of my favorite things about music: how it can speak right to your heart and offer reminders, encouragement, or overwhelm you with gratitude.  I am grateful to have been reminded by music this week.

The Person We Become

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As 2024 approaches, and we start to think about goals and things we’d like to accomplish in the coming year, perhaps it would be good if we also spent some time thinking of the type of person we’d like to become in the new year. Perhaps when December 31, 2024 arrives, you’d like to be a person who:
  • Exercises daily
  • Saves a specified percentage of their income for retirement
  • Attends regularly attends church
  • Visits an aging parent once a month
  • Initiates outings with friends
  • Takes their child out to breakfast once a week to check in
  • Says “Yes” to new experiences and adventures
  • Reads X number of books a year
The list is endless as to the type of person we’d like to be.  However, what is important is deciding what type of person we want to be and take the steps monthly, weekly, and daily to become that kind of person on December 31, 2024. We’re going to become something by then end of 2024.  Let’s choose, by way of our behaviors, what kind of person we become versus waiting to see what kind of person we accidently turned in to.

Building A Life

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“The way you live your days is the way you live your life.”   ~Annie Dillard

This quote causes me to look at my life from both a macro and a micro level and assess whether the things I’m doing on a daily basis are moving me closer to or further away from the life I want to live.

When observing from a macro level, I think of the words I would use to describe my life.  Would I use words like chaotic, stressful, and uninspiring, or would I use words more like joyful, growing, and energizing?  This zoomed-out perspective provides me with a state-of-my-life assessment.  Whether I’m happy with the assessment or disappointed by it, I can simply zoom in and look at how I’m living each day.

If I like the state of my life, I can identify daily consistencies that cause this outcome, and make sure those are a regular part of my days.  Likewise, I can also identify daily behaviors and/or actions that, if left to compound, could negatively impact my life.  Once identified, I can eliminate or change these behaviors. 

That’s the most encouraging part to me:  we can make changes!  Our lives are the sum of the days we live.  If we don’t like the assessment of our lives, we can change how we live each day.  While these changes are not always easy, they are ours to make. 

Let’s make sure that we’re living our days in a manner consistent with the life we desire.

Being Curious

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I heard someone talking about mindfulness recently, in a way that I hadn’t heard it discussed before.  They mentioned that when you’re mindful, you’re able to be curious about how you’re feeling in a situation before you just automatically respond to it. 

For example, if a car cuts you off, is your first inclination to lay on the horn, assume the worst about the other driver, or worse?  (Yeah, me too!)  If, however, we’re being “mindfully curious” we might instead ask something like:

  • “Why am I so upset by someone else’s driving? “
  • “I wonder what caused them to do that?”
  • “Why do I feel the need to vent my frustration at this person?”
  • “Is this how I’d want another driver to treat me if I accidently cut them off in traffic?”   

I’ll speak for myself here, but it often seems like I have an autopilot of negative responses that assume the worst in people.  These responses manifest themselves in my thoughts, words, and behavior with hardly any effort on my part.  They feel almost automatic.

Being a person, whose knee-jerk reaction is to respond negatively, is not who I want to be.  As a result, I’m going to work on being more curious of how I feel when I want to react negatively, so that I can gain some perspective and make a better decision.  A decision that better aligns with the person I want to be. 

We Choose

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We get to choose how we behave.  We choose how we conduct ourselves, the words we use, our attitude and our outlook.  Ultimately, all these choices we make form us into the people we become and the lives we create.

While it’s easy to say that, “They made me…” or “I just can’t help it”, or any other lame derivative of those statements, remember that we ultimately choose how we behave.

What kind of choices are you making?

Having Each Other’s Back

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Last weekend as I was leaving the grocery store, I saw a man in the parking lot who had locked his key in his car, and was trying to retrieve them through his partially opened window.  From what I saw, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be successful.

I then noticed another person, who had also seen what was going on, walk up to the guy’s car and offer to help.  This person apparently had smaller arms than the owner of the car, because they were able to rather quickly retrieve the keys from the car.  Apparently, the car owner’s dog was also locked in the car, so I’m sure the dog was as happy to be set free as the owner was to have his keys!

Although this may seem to be a small act, I’ll bet the owner of the car didn’t think it was. 

Let’s be on the lookout for simple ways we can “have someone’s back” who needs assistance.  If we were in a similar situation, wouldn’t we want someone to have ours?