aging

Make An Effort First

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It’s easy to make statements declaring that we aren’t good at something, for instance, “I’m not good at remembering peoples’ names.” While that might be true, before making such declarations we should first ask ourselves, “Have I made an effort?”

This may not seem like a big deal with regard to remembering name, but the implications are much higher when, without even trying we state things like:

  • I’m not good at…
  • I’m not smart enough to…
  • I’d never be able to…

Let’s not be so quick to put lids on our potential with these limiting beliefs.  Sure, it’s easier to make declarations of our perceived incompetencies than it is to make an effort at becoming competent.  However, these declarations come at a high price as they keep us living small, unchallenged, stagnant lives.

Before deciding all the things we aren’t, let’s make an effort first to find out what we are.

Lifting and Being Lifted

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I like encouraging people.  Whether it’s through letters, email, text, phone, in person, or through prayer, I love lifting people up.  What I’ve also been embracing the last few years is to let other people lift me up as well, especially through prayer. 

What this looks like for me is letting those close to me know what’s going on in my life.  How can someone encourage you if they don’t know what you’re facing? 

I didn’t use to do this much because I didn’t want to burden people with what I was facing.  I’ve realized that when I keep my life close to the vest, I keep others from experiencing the joy they would receive from lifting me up.   

Being Reminded By Music

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I was listening to a Spotify playlist at work this week when the song One Look by Alexis Ffrench featuring Leona Lewis came on.  It was a beautiful song about long-lasting love that came to an end at (I assumed) the passing of one of the people.  It’s one of those songs that left a mark long after it was over.

One Look reminded me of the inevitable end to the time I have with the people I love, especially with my wife.  It reminds me not to get frustrated by small insignificant things that seem like a a bigger deal in the moment than they really are.  It reminds me to choose to put love into action, which for me looks like 1 Cor 13. 

That’s one of my favorite things about music: how it can speak right to your heart and offer reminders, encouragement, or overwhelm you with gratitude.  I am grateful to have been reminded by music this week.

Building A Life

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“The way you live your days is the way you live your life.”   ~Annie Dillard

This quote causes me to look at my life from both a macro and a micro level and assess whether the things I’m doing on a daily basis are moving me closer to or further away from the life I want to live.

When observing from a macro level, I think of the words I would use to describe my life.  Would I use words like chaotic, stressful, and uninspiring, or would I use words more like joyful, growing, and energizing?  This zoomed-out perspective provides me with a state-of-my-life assessment.  Whether I’m happy with the assessment or disappointed by it, I can simply zoom in and look at how I’m living each day.

If I like the state of my life, I can identify daily consistencies that cause this outcome, and make sure those are a regular part of my days.  Likewise, I can also identify daily behaviors and/or actions that, if left to compound, could negatively impact my life.  Once identified, I can eliminate or change these behaviors. 

That’s the most encouraging part to me:  we can make changes!  Our lives are the sum of the days we live.  If we don’t like the assessment of our lives, we can change how we live each day.  While these changes are not always easy, they are ours to make. 

Let’s make sure that we’re living our days in a manner consistent with the life we desire.

Commit In Advance

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Cascade Head is an Oregon Coast hike I like to do once a month.  While beautiful, the hike has some sections that are steep which do a good job of getting your heart rate up.  It’s a great hike for ensuring that I stay in “hiking shape” throughout the year.

There is a section of this hike about half way up that has great views, as well as a nice place to sit in the grass and take in the scene.  After this point, the hike gets steep and proceeds to the summit, where the views are even better!  If it’s a good workout you’re after, you want to proceed to the summit.

Whenever I do this hike for the purpose of a workout, I commit that, absent any significant weather threat, I’m going all the way to the summit.  The reason I decide on the summit in advance is because I don’t want to wait until the half-way point to “see what I feel like”. 

Without first committing to the summit, it would be too easy to get to the halfway point and decide I don’t feel like proceeding further.  Lacking advance commitment, I could easily decide half way up, that things are “good enough”:  the view, the workout, my effort.  Unless I commit beforehand, seeing the remaining steep section could easily cause me “not to feel like” proceeding.

I think it’s like that with a lot in life.  Unless we make commitments in advance, we can easily be held back from long term satisfaction and achievement, based simply on how we feel in the moment.   Consistently “not feeling like it” can have a negative impact to our health, finances, relationships, career, faith, and outlook on life.

Is there any area in your life that you need to commit in advance to?  If so, make the commitment(s) you need to, and follow through.

Don’t hold yourself back!

Benchmarking

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This week I’ve been reading one of my journals from 2015.  Reading old journals is like being in a time machine, because I can read what I was thinking in that particular moment and also know how things turned out 8 years later.  Journaling is a great way to establish benchmarks (where we currently are) and our goals/destinations (where we want to go).   

I was encouraged to see that for several of my personal growth destinations I was writing about, I was able to arrive at the destination envisioned at the time.  This was reassuring, as I was able to read my thought process and understand my desire, as well as actions to take, to get there.

My journals also revealed that I have areas that I wanted to improve on back in 2015, that I’m still working to improve at in 2023.  I was encouraged that there are areas of growth that were important to me then that are still important to me today.  And while my improvement has been slow, I still have the desire to improve moving forward.  My journaling from 2015 is still motivating me to continue to grow and improve, today and beyond.

Are there any areas in your life where you’d like to improve?  If so, I strongly suggest journaling about where you are, and where you want to go in life.  If journaling isn’t your thing, I’d suggest at least writing down the areas you want to improve, and what that improvement looks like.  This will provide a wonderful benchmark for your future self, so that they will know if they are on track or need to recalibrate.  It will also make for a nice conversation with yourself at a future date.

Grateful For The Example

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I was listening to a podcast recently about the book, “Up From Slavery” by Booker T. Washington.  The positive attitude Mr. Washington possessed, both during and after facing terrible social injustices, blew me away.  I’ve since gone to the library and checked out this book so I can read it for myself.

Based on a few of excerpts from the book, that were read on the podcast, I was struck with how Washington chose positivity, focus, and growth, when he could have easily chosen bitterness, anger, and apathy.  Regardless of what happened to him that was outside of his control, he was focused on becoming a certain type of person.  Excuses were shattered by him, and circumstances were simply part of the landscape he had to navigate to get where he wanted to go.  Quite simply, the guy was remarkable.

Washington reminds me that if he can become a positive man of character, in spite of all the roadblocks and injustices he’s faced, then what excuse do I have not to do likewise?  I’m grateful for his example.      

Decide How It Goes

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With 2023 just a couple of hours away, consider this thought:  You get to decide how the new year goes for you.  That’s a pretty empowering statement!

Yes, we all know that things will occur that we did not choose, that will adversely impact us.  That’s just part of the deal for waking up with a pulse. 

However, we do get the privilege of choosing:

  • Our attitude
  • The speech we use
  • The thoughts we think
  • The actions we take
  • What we want to achieve this year
  • Who we spend our time with
  • What we learn and how we apply it
  • The kind of person we want to be during the next 12 months

So, remember throughout 2023, that we’re not just buckled into an uncontrollable year-long rollercoaster ride.  Rather, we are in the driver seat of our lives, and can steer it any direction we want in the coming year.

Let’s make choices in 2023 that put us in position on 12/31/2023 to look back and say, “That was a great year!”

Becoming

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As the end of the year rolls around, many of us start thinking about goals for the upcoming year.  While I believe goas are important (and I like having goals) my greater focus is on what kind of person I want to become in the years ahead.

As someone who plays electric bass, I want to become a musician who has a strong grasp of bass playing fundamentals and music theory, and can easily apply them to songs I play.  If this is what I want to become, then there are certain behaviors I need to engage in to cause me to become this type of musician.   

For example, I need to:

  • Constantly practice the bass playing fundamentals
  • Study music theory
  • Listen to other bass players and analyze what they’re doing in their playing
  • Attend concerts to expose myself to other bass playing styles
  • Apply what I’m learning to my own playing

As a follower of Jesus, I want to become a person whose life reflects what it looks like to be a true follower of Jesus.  In order to become this type of person, I’ll need to:

  • Read my Bible on a daily basis to I can be familiar with Jesus’s teaching
  • Put into practice what I learn
  • Make prayer a significant event throughout every day
  • Spend time in quiet self-reflection  
  • Be attentive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in my life, and respond accordingly.

For me, the focus on “becoming” is directed toward ensuring my behaviors each day are consistent with what it is I want to become.  It’s a great barometer for making sure I’m spending my days wisely, and that they’ll take me where I want to go.

So, what kind of person do you want to become?  Now the important question:  what do you need to do today to become that person?

A Quick Thought On Getting Along

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Lately, I’ve been reminded of the obvious truth that the success and happiness we experience in life is largely due to do with how well we are able to get along with other people.

This truth reminds me that how I treat people and interact with them matters.  If I want assistance, kindness, or grace from others, then I need to offer these things to those around me. 

It seems to me, from my experience on both the giving and receiving end, that life is much better when I’m getting along with fellow-Earthly-travelers, than when I lead with demanding my own way, or thinking that the world revolves around me.  It has been proven multiple times, that the world, indeed, does NOT revolve around me, or any other single person.

Getting along with others doesn’t mean that I default to capitulating what I want or need, simply for the sake of getting along.  Rather, I see it as being considerate of the needs of others, in addition to my own needs.

Isn’t that what we all want: for others to be considerate of us?  If that’s the case, let’s make sure we’re doing likewise for others.